Taking life as it comes

State Dance competition is always stressful for me. I have a love-hate relationship with this! This year was more stressful considering the circumstances I've had to deal with. I've questioned my coaching and human relationship abilities a lot the past couple of months and to be honest it has been tough going. I've found myself one moment dreading practice and state to the next moment caught up in the love of dance and working with kids. I've used the term "the elephant is in the room" as well as "beating my head against a brick wall" a lot, but mostly for lack of a better way to describe this season. That's pretty much how this year has been. Our reaction to things affects those around us a great deal. So I've had to play the "we're gonna put on our big girl panties and do this" card to get this group going.

So as the last two weeks have rolled around and I've had to be tough, tougher than I've ever had to be with kids, and I don't like being that way. I pushed these kids to work harder, try harder and told them to their face that I believed in them, they needed to believe in themselves. Some were receptive to it, and for others, usually the ones who needed it, they were oblivious to it. All the coaching and encouragement in the world was not going to do any good. This is just how life goes. Some work harder when you push. Some don't have any idea how to work or believe in themselves and continue doing or not doing what they have been doing all along.  We practiced a lot, and we practiced in the early mornings. I've been to school by 6 a.m. or earlier a great deal the past couple of weeks. We've practice on Saturday evenings-the guys asked for this. And once again the group that asked for Saturday evening practices and wanted 5 a.m. practices (I said no, 6 a.m. was early enough) came away from state showing that working hard pays off. The kids who listened when I coached and showed up for practice-brought home something to show for all that hard work. It wasn't what they wanted but it was the best we could do this year. To say I lack leadership with one of the groups is so apparent it is sad. But there is only so much I can do as their coach. I can't drive a bus around town to pick them up to make sure they get to practice, much less on time. Our lack of leadership this year has also taken it's toll. Just when we needed that peer leadership it is not there. So another battle I've had to deal with.

As state approached I had a whole host of behaviors from my girls...I can't do this.....I don't feel good....and the list goes on. The "I don't feel good" was a case of nerves. The "I can't do this" didn't do "it" and thus the reason why we got the scores we did. If I return to coach another year I won't put that individual back on my team. The term "way to let your team down" rings loud and clear. Kids just don't get what effect their "lack of" has on those around them. If you're not going to do it, you're not going to dance in competition. But life goes on.

I will admit I was a nervous wreak Thursday morning. But this was the first time I was doing all of this solo. I had no sidekick to go along and be my second in command. But once we got to state my jitters and worrying settled down and I was all business. We needed to stay focused and for the most part we did. I had one young  man, a first year senior, wanting me to talk him through the dances and help him fix some things he though he was struggling with. He also admitted to me that he was in awe before his first performance that he didn't believe me as to how big it all was. It can be a bit daunting and he was nervous to say the least.

But when all was said and done things went as I knew they would. I was a tad bit disappointed by one score but if  you don't try you cost your team....I can't change that as a coach. I can't get out there and dance for them. I'll just make sure it doesn't happen again. But that's life. You get what you put into it. So yes I learn lessons from these kids and I learn lessons every time we go to state. It is a scary, fun, encouraging experience.  And will I be back again next year....we'll I'm probably more likely to return than I was a month ago. Sometimes the curve balls life throws at you are hard to catch. It's when there are several curve balls all coming at you at the same time that I question myself first and foremost. And life secondly. And all I can say is I need to remember to take life as it comes.

Positive thought of the day: Take the opportunity to slow down and enjoy life and learn the lessons it is teaching you. We are all in the same boat.

All it takes

One kind word! You never know what other people are dealing with at any given time. I find this true for both kids and adults. Kids are less likely to share than adults unless they have someone they really trust. And for anyone a kind word can turn around a bad day making it into a good one! We as a society tend to remember the bad things-how someone made you feel or something someone said or a "look" from someone can ruin your day. And I am guilty of this-big time. If I feel I've let someone down or they are not happy with me I do let it bother me, a lot some times. But I'm working really, really hard on not letting that ruin my day or bother me as much. The only person in this world I have to make happy is ME. That's all, no one else. And I can't base my happiness on someone else, or if they are happy with me or not, especially if that someone treats me poorly or as a second thought. They are not worthy of me or my time. You need to be happy with YOU! Remember this!

Early morning practices typically has kids dragging in, not yet fully awake and barely functional. I'm not a morning person and I'm trying really, really hard to become one as my world can't start at 10 a.m. But one thing I've found is if you greet these sleepy, tired and over extended kids and make things light hearted you get them to work with you and they will work hard. Nine young men rolled into the gym at 6 a.m. this morning to practice for state dance team. It was their call to practice at 6 a.m. Actually they wanted to go at 5 or 5: 30 a.m. but I knew that would be counter productive about an hour into practice. So for one hour and 40-minutes we danced and fixed and critiqued and helped one another to become better as a team. And when I complimented an individual or the group as a team they seemed work harder and  got better each time we did the dance. They were pleased and energized with themselves when we left that gym at 7:40 a.m. I was thrilled and the guys were in a much better mood than there were at 5:55 a.m.!

I've always found you reap what you sow, to be so true. If you want people to treat you nicely then you have to treat them nicely. There are those few rare people in this world I won't waste a breathe on as they are just plain mean and nasty-I take their treatment for so long then I'm done. But for the most part people are kind-I like to believe this. And believe it or not people can change with time, I'm surprised here too! There used to be a parent that I deemed to be one mean and nasty piece of work. She was mean and snide to kids, especially athletes and especially kids in her daughter's class. Now that I have her son she is a different animal. She is more of a positive parent, team player, mellowed and has grown up-we all do with time. Have I forgiven her for the hell she put me and my daughter through-yes because it was only hurting me. Have I forgotten-NO! I will always wait for the mean, nasty person to come back but right now she is at least tolerable! She is what I will always refer to as a "mean girl".

So today as I do everyday I try to offer a positive word to those around me. Be it "good luck tonight" to the kids who have a game this evening. Or "thank you" to a student when I ask them to do something and they do it without an attitude. It's the little things that make people want to be nice in return and maybe just makes their day a little bit brighter.

Positive thought of the day: Have a great day! : )

What a difference a week makes

I have to admit that Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, if not the most favorite. The 4th of July holiday used to be a favorite but not so much any more. But Thanksgiving is a holiday that is all about family, appreciating all you are blessed with and being with others. There is no decorating, or holiday shopping rush. It seems to be a holiday that is getting muscled out by all those who want to rush into the Christmas season. But when it comes down to it, Thanksgiving needs to hold it's ground and make it a first priority over Christmas and all that goes with it.

I love the few days before Thanksgiving more than the days before Christmas. It seems with Christmas I am stressing out, cooking, food and Christmas shopping and all the rat race that goes with it. The week of Thanksgiving is about the food and preparing for those who are coming to celebrate. My kids arrive home some time that week and it becomes all about family and the meals and the time together. There is laundry and cooking in there too. But the fun times of spending time together are what I love the most. Laughter and cooking together have become more of a norm for us. And regardless of who does or does not make it home or who are no longer with us to celebrate the holiday, they are still with us in spirit. I love the feeling that we are here to celebrate each other rather than gifts and such.

So as this weekend winds down and I look back on the past four days I have nothing but great memories and leftovers that I shared! Yes it is a lot of work but so worth it. I enjoy the time together and the memories we made. Once everyone is back where they are suppose to be I will rest easy and head into the new week ahead. Thank you to all who made this holiday a thankful one for me, regardless if you were here or not- you were missed but I'm still thankful for all those who have been and still are part of my life.

Positive thought of the day: I'm thankful for the time I had with friends and family. It was all about the people and time spent together.

A lot to be thankful for!

On this Thanksgiving eve we all typically reflect on what it is we are most thankful for. There is the standard and always popular- family- friends- a job-car-home-food on the table and such.

But what about the little things? The ability to swing your legs over the side of the bed each morning. Or the ability to see or breath freely, or to be able to go where you want because you are able and because you live in a free country. As a society we have a lot of things that we take for granted each day and usually never give it a second thought. The healthcare we do get, or the prescription that we can get filled to help maintain or improve our health.

The simple luxuries of filling your vehicle with gas and having the money to do so. Also the ability  to run to the grocery store to get that gallon of milk or the fresh produce or meat for a healthy meal-these are indeed reasons to be thankful. Some people in this world, country, state or hometown don't know where their next meal is coming from.

You don't know what you've got until it's gone is a common statement and applies to tons of things. It could be someone who is gone from your life due to death, or by choice or because of a job or other commitment-appreciate those people regardless if they are still in this world or not. Appreciate the people around you, the good ones and the bad ones who make you appreciate the good ones!

And while you may not be celebrating this Thanksgiving holiday with all those you love and treasure it does not mean we are not thankful or the holiday has less meaning.

If miles are keeping your from a loved ones remember we are still very, very blessed for the fact that in this day and age of technology we can communicate instantly, 24/7. No more taking pictures and getting the film developed then getting prints and mailing them to people-you can take a picture and less than 5 seconds later they've got it!

So enjoy this season of thankfulness and try to keep this thankful feeling in your heart each day all throughout the year....because each and every day is a gift as well as the people who are in you life.

Positive thought of the day: THANK YOU!!!

Count with me...5...6...7...8!

I've never been a morning person, try as I might I still struggle with early mornings and I get worse with getting up early as the week goes along, not terrible but I'm not so gung-ho on Thursday as I am on Monday or Tuesday. BUT I no longer sleep in on the weekends. It wacks out my schedule. So early morning dance practice is not a favorite but we do get a lot done. And ya' gotta do what you've gotta do!

People are either morning people or not. Some people love mornings and get more done before the sun comes up than other people get done all day. I must admit I do get a lot done when I have to get up in the mornings. But being organized the night before is the secret to success for anyone's morning. I like to have everything ready the night before so if there are any glitches I can deal with them and keep moving rather than causing havoc and slowing me down.

You can tell who the morning people are when it comes to adults and kids. Some of my kids show up to early practices all bright eyed and bushy tailed, smiling and ready to roll. Others roll into practice grumpy and looking like they just got out of bed, which they probably did. And then there are those who have that grumpy look no matter what time of the day their day starts.

With dance you use counting, usually either with an 8 or 12 count. And I've noticed that at morning practices counting seems to be a struggle quite often. If you are suppose to go on the 6-count, go on the 6-count. Not the 5-1/2 count or the 7 count-the blessed SIX count!! After having a great practice yesterday after school my girls struggled with the simple task of counting and going on their count over and over and over again this morning. Not sure what the reason is, but counting to 8 and going on YOUR count was all over the place today and a struggle!

I used to use the "count to three" method with my own kids when they were little. They knew when I started counting they'd better be done doing whatever it was they were doing by the time I reached the number three. But alas my youngest son was sometimes a bit of a pill and so when I'd start to count to three he would often finish. After I would say 1...he would quickly add 2....3!!! It was funny but also frustrating! I don't honestly think he knew what he was doing other than counting with me!! Learning numbers and letter is important in early development! I'm wondering if he was at that time thinking his mom wasn't too smart since she could only count to three most days!!

I don't like to get in people's faces as far as when they are screwing up. But with this group of dancers, this year rather than make a general correction, I now call the girl out on her mess up. It's how I have to deal with this group with the circumstances we've had. I'm not longer being Mr. Nice-guy-too bad that's the way it goes. I'm sure to a couple of girls it feels like I am always on their case. But we are only as strong as our weakest dancer. Learn to count, listen and pay attention. So my solution to fix our counting problems, now that we are two weeks away from state, is EVERYBODY counts with me! All together now!! It usually does the trick and gets things into their brains and muscle memory! Counting to 8 with Lynn may be a good title for this method!

We are always counting, and as a non-math person I deal with math all the time. YUCK! Actually I'm a math hater, I dislike math with a passion but we use simple math daily from how many days until the weekend or next break to how to stage a dance and count it with the choreography to figuring out totals and such. It's just part of life.

So I guess my whole play on numbers is how important it is do your part are in life, from dancing to counting on people and working together. Know your counts, do your part and come in on YOUR count for pete's sake!

Positive thought of the day: Work together not against one another! : )

"I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite!!"

What makes you laugh or brings a smile to your face? Have you ever been in one of those situations where you are suppose to be serious but something funny happens and it hits you as incredibly humorous and you just can't contain your laughter or you end up looking like you are guilty when all you are doing is finding humor but trying to keep a straight face? Ah yes, we've all been there! I have a couple of occasions that I still think back to that bring a smile to my face or even a laugh! I love these moments.

There is a fine line between finding humor and laughing with someone and at someone else's mistakes or accidents-those hurt. I have someone in my life who takes great pleasure in laughing at and loves to draw attention to my blunders or lack of grace when I have those moments. This hurts my feelings-yep, I just admitted it. I know we all have our less than graceful moments but for me when someone trips or blunders, especially in front of other people I try to ignore or make light of it rather than draw attention-I try to be compassionate. We all know those people who take great pleasure in seeing other people mess up...not sure why or if they realize they do this, but this behavior has changed how much I interact or deal with this person, unless I absolutely have to. It's like they just wait for me to mess up. I just want to say to this person go find something positive to do with yourself rather than make me even more embarrassed or uncomfortable in life   : (

Anyway back to humor in life! I love to laugh and find humor in life. I'll be the first one to laugh at myself for whatever reason.

I remember sitting in church once with my eldest niece and the bible reading by the lector was not funny but in the way the lady reading it did it. She read s-l-o-w-l-y and enunciated each and every word and read with exaggerated expression. It was not a drama filled scripture reading! It hit my niece, Brenda, and I as incredibly funny in the same way. We could not contain ourselves nor get ourselves pulled together. It was so bad that I thought I was settled down but then saw her shoulders shaking and I was a goner again! We got nothing out of church that day and to this day when I think about it I start to giggle and if I hear that bible reading it brings back great memories. I can even quote a few lines and do them just like that lady did that day!

It also seems that when life is tough or stressful or sad that laughter can help make things a little less as bad. I had an experience with my mom and sisters as we sat with my dad as he was in the last days of his life. I accidentally gave a close family relative the wrong name and everyone knew who I meant and it immediately hit us all as hysterically funny-we laughed and giggled about it for some time. It was still a running joke between my sisters and I when my mom passed.

I was about asleep last night when my lovely little, white, half-grown, kitten-Frosty decide it was a good idea and time to get up on the dresser that is sitting slightly askew from the wall. I turned off the lights and was trying to relax and fall asleep but Frosty thought it was playtime. I suddenly heard a clunk and this was followed by pitiful "meows" that also sounded rather muffled. I wondered and guess that someone had fallen behind the dresser and was stuck as I turned on the light. I was right! Guess who was behind the dresser and could not move or get out....I slid the dresser out and he was baffled by the room and just stood there. I was laughing and had to reach back and pick him up to get him out from behind the dresser. He was grateful and followed me then to bed, but I laid there in the dark laughing for quite some time. Only Frosty would do this kind of thing, in the dark and at night!

Anyway my point in all of this is that humor, in a positive way, is good for you! Laughter helps lift spirits and reduce stress. And I know there is a whole host of medical benefits of laughter. And honestly I have those days where I try to smile at someone who I am pretty sure won't smile back on purpose, and when I do smile and they don't smile back I have a little bit of an "upper hand moment". Ha! You can walk around frowning at the world and you are going to get that right back. I choose to smile and I usually get that back too...except for those really, really miserable people who no one wants to be around anyway. Go ahead and frown-you won't get far in life looking like that!

Positive thought of the day: Find something that makes you laugh and enjoy that laughter!

Come to Jesus!

No I'm not getting on my religious high horse in this blog! This is the term I use when someone or ones need a dose of reality. It can be a short and brief comment or a full out-"wake the hell up" kind of talk. Either way it hopefully does the trick when it is needed and used!

I had one of these talks with my "team" the other day. I felt like we'd hit rock bottom and we have no where to go but up and there was no way I was giving up.

I chewed them out, I gave them a dose of reality and I didn't ask but I gave them an either or choice in this situation-either straightened up/out AND I'm going to be in your face, in front of God and everyone telling your about your lack of-be it your poor attitude or your half ass-ed attempt at things or you're out. That may be how you do things in your world, but not how we are going to do things in mine. And if you don't like it-there's the door is how I put it in a nut shell.

It shook them up. I had some near tears. Some were pissed off-probably at me-good or if they were pissed at their teammates-that's even better! And some sat nodding as they are the ones who are already giving it their all and didn't need the "come to Jesus" meeting in the first place but had to sit through it anyway. I had two girls missing-they both of course needed to be at this meeting as they were part  also of our big problem-they'll get the abbreviated version in their face in front of the whole team at practice some day if they don't heed the version someone on the team hopefully gave them. I hope they did a good impression of me when they did it.

I don't very often hit a wall or have a straw break the camel's back in my world. But I hit that point on Sunday. Frustration does not begin to define how I felt. Very pissed off was more like it. And after meeting with the individual and the other coach who was responsible for my frustration I had an even worse attitude. You can't make people see things if they don't want to. Some people will never see things from the other side of the desk. It's all about ME-is their way of thinking. No it's not-it's all about US-ALL of us.

So I cancelled a big fund raiser and told my girls that state was probably out on Sunday. They were upset, as they should be. But when I threw down the gauntlet one young lady, someone I least expected, picked it up and rounded up the troops and started to lead them. Amen!! Did she do a good job, hard telling, but at least she dug her heals in and tried which is more than I can say for the rest of the bunch. To be honest it was one of the least likely girls to do so. After a couple of pretty frustrating days I had my "come to Jesus" meeting with my team. I then threw a whole heap of responsibility onto my parents shoulders via an email later that day. My parents are pretty lazy and do little if anything to support our program and their daughters. I was truthful, honest and told the parents how it was going to be and they too were now going to be held responsible for their daughters schedules, their behavior and their attitude. I've got a couple  of girls who have what some of us females call PBF (permanent bitch face). Which means they always look pissed at the world, they are always unhappy, the glass is always half empty and the day mostly cloudy. They are no fun to be around and you sure as hell don't want to have anything to do with them. We all know people, not always women who always have that "look". Well they'd better leave that PBF at the door from now on.

After my "come to Jesus" meeting with my girls, then the email to parents I finally felt like a weight was off my shoulders. I got mad at the people who were ruining things and taking things away because of their lousy attitude and tremendous lack of commitment to their team. No way was I going to let these people win and bring us down. We were about as down as we could get. So I got up early the morning of our next practice and spent about two hours getting some things changed, worked out and ready for practice yesterday. I went in with a new set of rules and goals and I told my girls we were not going to have a can do attitude but a will do attitude. Those young ladies worked hard yesterday minus two of our "problems" one was gone again (go figure) and one "forgot" practice-ya right. Too bad. We went on without them and their place on the team is questionable at best.
This morning at practice EVERYONE was there. YEP! Woo hoo all NINE showed up, even the sick one and the suspended one. And we were all business and worked hard for over an hour. There was no screwing around or little groups of chatter and no one practiced half ass-ed. They worked, they did their part, they gave input when asked. Absolutely the way it should be. No more prisoners running the prison which is a lot of the way I feel at work every day. It is not happening on my watch.

So did my "come to Jesus" meeting work? I think so. If anything it scared them as I covered things all around the horn, not just dance team. I hit life in general. Too often we let the negative in life get in the way and cloud the good stuff. I can't make people change their attitudes but they will check it at the door when they are mine. Put on your big girl panties and grow up is in short what I was trying to tell some of those girls on Tuesday.

Positive thought of the day: See the glass as half FULL rather than half empty-life is a lot better when you do.

I've got nothing

I've had a couple of weeks where it has been extremely stressful and terrible busy. I know everyone has these days, weeks or months. But I'm to the point where I have nothing-no more to give-I'm out of ideas. I don't honestly know what to do next.

This has been extreme as far as the emotional part and I refer to the entire situation as "the elephant in the room". An individual has done something, several times, to teammates and while it was not directed at my activity it does affect everyone on my team in a variety of ways and the biggest being that we have the elephant in the room at every practice. We are on pins and needles most of the time. It is nice to see those rare moments when we forget the world and everyone is the same and we dance and forget the problems-I see brief moments of happiness and fun. But in reality the emotions are high and feelings run a whole gamut from anger to hurt to mistrust. To say we were or still may at times be reeling is an understatement. And worse of all is our sense of team. We have no leadership and our "leader" constantly is missing practices which does nothing but hurt us.

I have no directive from by "bosses" in all of this as to what is going on or how to deal with all of this other than I'm not allowed to discuss things. I sure as hell don't what to discuss things or to know the details! I just want to help girls deal with this, feel safe and bring back a sense of TEAM. And in truth, as I feared, this is killing my program. I feel like I am on the Titanic trying to bail the water with a teaspoon, okay maybe a tablespoon. It's just is not working. I'm tying to wipe the the slate clean and reduce stress-we'll see how that works? I hope less stress and less demands help fix things or at best they settle down. Time will tell.

We all make mistakes and make wrong choices. Live and learn. Make those wrong choices lessons-learn from them rather than let them define you. I have no idea what to do other than I'm still trying. The more normal things are the better, I think.

But on the flip side I don't think we should use this as an excuse for things. Lack of leadership or not showing up for practice is not an answer or a way to deal with things. Some people can't help themselves. They jump on the rumor mill wagon and try to make the most of the ride or make it all about them! Really people?

I personally wish none of this would have happened. It has and I just want it to go away-wishful thinking on my part. Oh well. So as I continue to bail the water on the Titanic I will keep trying to come up with a solution or at least some way to bring back some normalcy-happiness and fun to our TEAM. After all that is what this should all be about-the team.

Positive thought of the day: I'm still trying to come up with something for this.....so far, no luck.

Good for the soul

Taking care of your body and health should be a way of life. They say what you eat in private you wear in public, so true. Just like some people wear their feelings on their sleeve-what is going on on the inside can be see on the outside. Stress can eat you alive and take it's toll on your life, health, relationships, work performance and a whole host of other ways.

Learning to let go and not stress has always been a struggle for me. I grew up in a very protective household and there are times when I go back to the niave way of thinking. I call these my "Duh Lynn" moments. So when something totally, unexpected hits me between the eyes and knocks me for a loop it typically wreaks havoc for me mentally and physically. It's either feast or famine when it come to stress-I mean this as in food. I either have absolutely no appetite or I eat without thinking-the later being a new method for me. And you know what the sure fire answer for me is in dealing with stress is-exercise. I know this but I slack. And I have no idea why I do. I've never been a morning person and I need to be. I need to get my butt out of bed and workout-sweat and I think my life would be a whole lot better and happier. I'd feel better both physically and mentally. I need to make this a habit, I need to take more of life in a less caring mode and let things go. This is easy to do but when others are in your care it is not so much.

I try to take care of myself because I think it is good for my soul and life in general and for those around me! Dealing with stress has never been a strong point for me. I usually just get through it and come out on the other side and keep moving. I try to forget the stress but remember the lesson from it-that helps down the road.

So with the stress levels at school reaching a fever pitch I have sat back and watched to see how people deal and react. As I've told the teenage girls who I work with that their reaction and how they choose to handle the stress and situation is how you do things, don't let anyone tell you if its right or wrong-unless it is extreme or hurts others.

And I will admit I am more than a little bit apprehensive about my dance team practice this afternoon-I don't know how it's going to go. I need to keep my feelings and those of the girls who are not directly involved in the "problem" in check as well. Walking on egg shells is a very simple way to put things. Stressed-yes I am. Worried-more than a little bit. Will it be okay-someday, not sure when or if the trust will ever come back. But how this goes is depending on teenage girls and how they act. The team unity is broken and I'm not sure if the trust or unity will ever be fixed or mended enough to function as a team. I'm worried about the future of this team and group of girls and the rest of this season. Having best friends on both sides of the fence on the same team is difficult at best.

Laughter is good for soul and so is dancing and sweating and it all helps in making the best of any situation. So my goal today as these young ladies look to me for guidance and leadership is to bring all of those aspects to practice. How it will go, I have no idea or even if it will go. But we will continue as we have and figure things out as a team-together. Since no one else is giving me guidance or answering my questions or helping me when I ask for it I'm going into this head first blindly and praying-praying big time that I have the wisdom and patience and understanding to deal with whatever comes our way. And after today I hope this all goes away or at least settles down and does not rear it's ugly head at the most inopportune times.

We're going to do things that will good for the soul today and I hope and pray we all come to terms with this and do what is good for the soul-forgive and move on.

Positive thought of the day: Do what is good for your soul, be it eat chocolate, go for a bike ride or just have some alone time and forgive anything that is troubling your soul. Life is too short.

Loosing my cool

Yep, I lost my cool a little bit today. My 5th hour study hall is a large group and my only break of the day between 9 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. comes with a short 22-minute (at best) lunch at which time some days I have to choose between heating up my lunch and eating it as fast as possible, or getting to go to the restroom and eat my lunch throughout the afternoon-eventually cold, or just not finish it. But my 5th period group is something else. It is not a quiet, well behaved group like most of the other sections are. This group of upperclassmen is filled with ornery, sometimes obnoxious, I'm "special" teenagers who think they can do what they want, when they want. Each day they do their best to wreak havoc before I shut them down. And today when I walked in I'd had enough of their shenanigans and behavior. I gave them their first, last and only warning as a group for being late-after this if they come strolling in without a note or pass they will be spending a 15 minute detention with me WORKING. And not on homework. Work work.

I know teenagers will be teenagers. I deal with a wide variety of 5th through 12th graders everyday of the school year. You get to know some pretty well. You get to know their habits and behaviors. Some need attention constantly. Some like to fly under the radar and do their thing. Some need to sit with people, while others gravitate to a table away from everyone and everything. Some kids talk constantly and never realize they are, even after being told to stop talking. Others come in, sit down and get right to work, never uttering a word. Some like to keep everything in a neat order while others spread the stuff all over and it takes them forever to settle in and pack up! Some think rules don't apply to them while others follow the rules to the letter. Everyone is different.

But why today did I loose my cool? What made me snap after over four weeks of school? Was it the total chaos or the missing or moved furniture that they managed to hide or move in the brief time they were in the room before I got there? My solution, other than eat my lunch everyday in my office is locking all the doors when I leave. They can wait out in the hallway until I get here to let them in. And they will wait. It takes away from my time and means more work for me but I'm tired of this group and the ones who thing they can do as they please and run the school, we are suppose to follow their rules-not on my watch. I have a few stragglers, who do no harm, but who come up each day early to get into the room and find their spot. These early arrivals are no problems but it cuts what little time I get for a break down even more. They are often times up to the library 10 minutes after I start my lunch break. They are the quiet kids who march to their own beat I've noticed and I often wonder what .

I honestly have no answer as to why I lost my cool slightly, other than the personality of this group. I always looked forward to this group last year-that group was a relaxed and laid back group. Not this year! It's like this group is fed sugar and pop while at lunch each day, and told no rules apply to them!

So after playing "babysitter" to this group again today and sitting them down they were pretty well behaved. They knew they had pushed the envelope to the limit and not to push it any farther. I don't have this red hair for nothing! But I'm sure tomorrow it will be the same old thing, but they will figure out that I don't trust them nor will they walk all over me when they are standing outside the room waiting to get it!

We all loose our cool at times and it might be triggered by bad timing or the straw that breaks the camel's back or it just happens. Regardless today it was probably a combination of all, the final straw and stress from the week and it just happened! So my method of dealing-writing! And some chocolate. And finding a way to deal with this group. With kids it feels like I have to always be one step ahead of them or a day or too, and always on your toes-kids will do this! As well as small animals!!

Positive thought of the day: It is what it is. Tomorrow is a new day!

Moving mountains!

The term "moving mountains" means to get a lot done! Well for me today it's not moving mountains it's "moving a piano"! Yep, I discovered I can move my very own piano all by myself. This is a term for me literally and also in the figurative way as in I can do this myself. Living in a house that was 98% carpeted when we moved in has driven me a bit nuts for a variety of reasons: 1. some of the carpet was ugly and old-and probably a big source of a lot of the  allergies I've had 2. how clean are/were things? Especially both carpeted bathrooms. 3. Finding 90+ year old hardwood floors is a treat. Most need some TLC but they are not in terrible shape-I see beauty where others see differently-oh well, I'm the one doing the work. 4. I can not move furniture by myself-mainly the heavy stuff with carpet. You see moving furniture in a room gives me a new lease on life. It's a fresh way to look at the same world in a different way-a new outlook. I know I get this habit from my mom-thanks mom! And I always say it is cheaper than shopping, gambling or drinking. While some women color their hair a wacky new color or wear some weird clothing (weird in my defination, I know it is just their way of expressing themselves) I move things around-furniture, pictures, contents of cupboards and closets. I reorganize and toss things that I don't want or need. There is no rhyme or reason to why I do this. I just know it is good therapy for me-plain and simple. And I feel so much better after I'm done-that is the only way I know how to explain it. I'm sure to some people around me they find it odd or weird. I'm sure I've probably corrupted my kids to an extent. And I once was told, "good thing I don't have blind children"! I know! I'll be the crazy old lady at the nursing home who will rearrange the lounge or my own room when I can't sleep!

A month ago I finally dug in and pulled up carpet from the dining room. It just was time to go. In my opinion food and carpeting does not mix. So pulling it out in smaller, easy to handle sections was a task but I got it done and it came out easier than I thought. The hardest thing-moving the piano so I could get the rest of the carpet and paint behind it. So things sat idle while I'll worked away on two coating the rest of the room. I put protectors under the legs of all the furniture and waited for both sons to be under the same roof. Both boys were under the same roof for less than 20 hours and an unusually busy Saturday didn't find my piano being moved by the pain until late in the day. Taking out the carpet was easy. Getting the painting done before they left not so much. So since that Saturday over three weeks ago I go into my disarrayed dining room as little as possible. My furniture is every where and there is nothing use-able about the room. Nothing. I don't let it bother me, but it does.

So after an early morning wake up for me and some coffee and a bit of "lets see" how heavy can a piano be thoughts, I walked into the room and told my self to just try. Even if I moved it a tiny bit each day, sooner or later I'd meet the wall-right? Well much to my surprise I can move that big old piano more than a little bit! Yay me!! I'm stronger than I think! What a good feeling that is. It is like a whole new independence for me. Like accomplishing a great task. So what I thought I might be able to accomplish in a week or two a little at a time, I think I can do in an hour!! No I'm not going to be moving the piano all over the house! Some day it will go to a new home, but for me and the rare times I play it, it is looking at the world from a different angle too!

So the fact that I do still have the strength and muscle that I used to makes me feel pretty good! Nope, no weight lifting training required, just good old farm girl upbringing and some determination!

So here's to a Sunday and looking at the world from a different angle as I sit down to play a few, rusty tunes on my piano.

Positive thought of the day: That we all discover "mountains" in our lives that we are able to move when we thought we couldn't. Whether it is mountains or pianos-move it! Look at the world like it's just been re-arranged!! Fresh and in a new way!

Listen when they want...

Yes, we've all have them. The "friends" who are only there when they want to be or when they need something-that's not a friend. They are absolutely useless and in no way being a friend if they don't listen or they ignore you when you are sad or vent or need someone to talk to. Yes they sure are there in the good times and fun.

Yes, this is a lesson I keep forgetting and relearning...maybe one day soon I will learn, don't share, don't talk, just walk away and let them be. They are not worth the time. But more than anything it means they don't care-let them go.

I know I have my moments when people are talking to me and I don't fully listen, or give feedback when they are expecting it or wanting it, needing it. Otherwise why would they be sharing with me? I try not to do that and if I do, I apologize to them as soon as I realize it. But I never blatantly ignore or acknowledge or not act like I care to people I do care about. Not replying does that. To me it says I don't care and you are not worth my time.

I get that now....lesson learned. Go find someone else next time you need someone or something.
I'm done.

A new season

I didn't participate in a lot while in high school for a variety of reasons: we lived 5-miles from town, I was the youngest and didn't have older siblings to take me to and from; I grew up on a farm and there is always work to do on the farm; and my dad had health problems all throughout my high school career so it put more responsibility on me and my workload at home. So my participation was in vocal music, drama, speech, small group vocal music, a little cross country, journalism, yearbook, I took piano lessons and I think that is about it. I was needed at home to work. My social life consisted of going out on Friday nights to sporting events, (my first football and wrestling events ever came when I was in high school-loved football-disliked wrestling and left after 10 minutes) or I hung out with friends, going to Pizza Hut, playing tennis, sitting around talking or occasionally going to each others houses. My two best friends and I were all farm girls who lived out of town so getting together on a Friday night was always a challenge as to what we would do and where we would go. But we didn't do anything bad nor get into any trouble. Were were pretty quiet and well behaved by today's standards.

So when my kids got to the age of participating in extra-curricular I encouraged them to do what they wanted and would enjoy. With the exception of being too involved, we've all seen the kids that are involved in everything and rather than being outstanding which they could be, they are average at best because they are too busy. They mean well, but let their team mates down more often than not. I can think of a handful of students who have graduated, who could not say no to anything and stood out at nothing.

My kids were very involved while in high school, not so much with the things I was involved in when in school, but I learned about their activities as they grew and became their biggest fan, supporter, errand runner, chore do-er, uniform washer, meal maker,  and any thing else I could be so they could excel and succeed at what they chose both in the classroom and outside. I think they had pretty successful careers while in high school barred a crappy teacher or coach or show-off team mate!

As I enter my 21st year of coaching dance team, I find myself feeling the same feelings I have for the past 20 years-fresh and excited but I also find myself wondering what the heck is going on in kids heads at times, how proud I am of them at other times, frustration with those who can NOT follow simple rules like their READ email or texts or follow a simple phone tree-back in the day or get to practice or get there on time, impressed how talented others are, or pissed off because some have no idea what it is like to be part of a team-it's not all about them.

At this stage of the game you get a pretty good indication of how life is going to go for these young people. Those who will never leave town because of an invisible umbilical cord connected to their mommy or a significant "other" (there is nothing wrong with going back to your home town, but leave for a while, get out on your own, grow up before you come back), the ones who will leave and never look back, the ones who will bloom and become completely different people when they get away from home, those that reality will bite in the butt and the ones who will be happy and those who will not because it is not all about them any more-that's life. 

This year is no exception to the past 20 years, I come into each season with big plans, dreams, hopes and aspirations. Some years have been a total success in a variety of ways, others mediocre, and there are those years that you just want the season to be over. The kids and parents are a good deciding factor to how the season will or will not go. Support and being a team means success. It's all about me or you're not being fair to my child will send any talented team into the dumpster if it is not stopped or fixed- if it can be. And letting one failure define the rest of the season is never a good run. I'm always excited for dance team, I love music and dancing and seeing my kids perform. Yes I call them my kids as I become protective of them like a mom, in most cases.

But as I head into our first performance of the 2014-15 season I am again anxious and excited as well as nervous, as if I'll be out there performing! Ha-although I can do just about every routine frontwards and backwards, with the team or mirroring them but the time we get to performances!! I've had these feelings every year, usually before every performance-but I can't let the kids know this is how I feel. This group has worked hard and we've practiced this first dance more than I ever have in past years-some members of this group need the extra practice time, and maybe an attitude adjustment as I use each performance as leverage as to if they will or will not perform again. We've not been without our "problems". The girls who bitch and moan about practice times saying we practice too much, or they don't make up their missed practice times on their times but expect myself or a team mate to do it when it works best for them-NOT. Or trash talking about your team mates-some thing that really ticks me off. Certainly not team behavior and will find them sitting out when everyone else is dancing.

I can't control how the girls do, there will be those who nail the performance, those who forget (just a small part I hope and they recover quickly) those who will get deer in the headlights looks or decide to rush and fast forward the dance- giving everything away but in the end it is what it is. Is this the best performance I've ever put out there-probably not. But it is the best for this group of young ladies as we start a new season. You are only as strong as your weakest dancer. Making the dance work with their wide range of abilities and music is all just part of the whole picture that I deal with each and every practice and performance. I have everyone dance this dance but not so when it comes to the rest of the season. Yes, like everyone else I want everyone to dance, but some times that just does not work. Sometimes they need to sit it out and watch. I think girls some times learn as much from watching as they do dancing but I'd rather see them dance.

Here we go.....we'll dance like no one is watching!

Positive thought of the day: I'm so blessed that I can still coach and dance with these kids! Most of them are pretty good eggs!

Perks of being a redhead!

(Yes, I stole and changed the title of this blog from a movie and a book, both which I recommend but the book is better. If you don't get what I mean here, never mind!)

Yes I am looking at the positive side of my hair color. And I will openly admit I never cared for or embraced it until recent years. I'm still not sure if I like red hair.

Lets go back...I'm the youngest of five...four of us are redheads in various shades and the odd one has red headed traits and his beard used to be red. So all my life I've had people make comments about the hair color-"Where do you get your red hair?" as my redheaded mom and three siblings would be standing there. Really?

People love to single out redheads and/or embarrass us or make us very uncomfortable so we blush and turn red-I hate this. Or the always popular comment "Is that natural?" which is more normal now that I am "older".  Yes it is! Do you really think I would color my hair this color????

Unlike my siblings I did not have the redheaded skin as far as freckles-I really never had any freckles until I was an adult. I would burn and peel but usually ended up with a little tan. Otherwise I was pale white and looked sickly from August until the end of May....lack of sun does that to a person.

I'm a strawberry blonde, it was the first thing the doctor who delivered me announced, even before the fact that I was a girl and my birth certificate also confirms the fact! All the other red heads in my family have darker red hair-the hair color gene must have been running out! I had a grandmother who I'm told had dark, dark red almost auburn hair so I guess with the gene on both sides of the family I didn't have a fighting chance to be any thing BUT a redhead. Although I'm not sure what happened to my brother??

The redhair drew a lot of attention, and not in the way or how I wanted as a kid. I remember being called "cow eyes" as a scared kindergartener on the play ground by older kids-I have no idea why I remember that and it is the only time I've been called something not related to my hair color. Otherwise the nicknames or other "names" have always been related to my hair. Some people just think calling me "Red" is okay...no my name is Lynn. My mom, thank goodness never chose a non-redheaded nickname for me...Lindy Lou, was my name when I wasn't in trouble!

In my high school heath class I remember a classmate calling me carrot top...until one day while sitting behind me in class he pulled out one of my hairs-which hurt and I smacked him for it.  He proceeded to look at the hair very carefully on it was on a white piece of paper. He then announced to the teacher and entire class that my hair is NOT red or orange BUT gold colored-really, in front of EVERYONE. But honestly it kind of was the turning point for me-maybe, just maybe having this hair color was not the worse thing in the world. It wasn't carrot orange or fire red. I'd always draw myself as a kid with my box of crayons with a mixture of red, orange and that flesh color  crayons to try to come up with my hair color-I never said I was a creative kid or artist!

I was getting my hair cut a few years ago and an older lady in the chair next to mine asked her stylist what color you call my hair...I turned, smiled at her question and replied "natural!". It is what it is. God gave it to me and it is a good representation of my family and heritage and does come with advantage too!

I honestly hoped each time I was pregnant that the baby was NOT a red head. I didn't want my child to go through what I had growing up a very shy and quiet red head. No one has red hair and the closest I got is Ranen with his pale skin and freckles. Sometimes his hair will have a reddish cast to it but he escaped the red hair. Besides they say it skips a generation so the grandkids may be the next round of red heads!? You've been warned!

The perks of being a red head:
1. Only 1% of the world has red hair and blue eyes...yes I'm rare-leave it alone!
2. I can blame my paleness on being a red head-I was born this way! Plus lack of sun exposure means less chance of skin cancer-whew!
3. My closet has a limited amount of colors-only certain things go with red hair-NOT the pale yellow my mom always dressed me in because it was her favorite color either! I'm learning as I go!
4. It takes a higher dose of meds to work for me...this includes antibiotics and anesthesia and aspirin. While big 200+lb guy can take a small amount of antibiotic or cold medicine, it usually takes a truck load for things to affect and work for me.
5. It is said red heads have a high threshold for pain...or we are just that dense and we don't feel it?! I like to believe I have a high pain threshold here!
6. Yes we have a temper-everybody has a temper. It's just that redheads get a bad rap and are grouped because of their temper. Hey, I'm using it as an excuse, don't knock it!
7. I stand out in pictures! It's hard to miss the redhead! : )
8. You are very fortunate if you have a redhead in your life! We bring color and a whole host of other things to your life!! 

And there are people out there who either absolutely love red hair or hate red hair, or the freckles or the pale white skin...so what. Looking beyond the hair color and the outside package is where the true person is. It's what is on the inside that counts. 

Yes we all have things about ourselves, physical and personality-wise that we'd like to change or wish were different. But we are who we are and how God made us. I'm a mixture of both my parents having an equal amount of tendencies of both as opposed to my siblings who usually favor one parent or the other-I'm the best of both! And embracing my hair color and the attention it gets me is a very slow process. I've always been a "blend into the background" kind of girl....kind of hard to do when you've got red hair and no one else does. But that's life!

Positive thought of the day: It's a great day to appreciate the little things in life, whatever that may be for you!

How they make you feel

We all say things that someone may take the wrong way-it's the hazards of speaking! But most of the time people take things that you say with the intention good and bad that you say and mean it. You can tell someone something over and over again but how you say it will be remembered long after the words are forgotten.

Your tone of voice and body language speak volumes, even when you don't mean to or you do! Everyone has their own "battle' that they are fighting so be kind! And a cardinal rule most people forget is think before you speak and when in doubt keep it to yourself.

I'm battling my own battle at home....a deaf kitten who can not tell my tone of voice, much less hear me when I yell at him to stop biting the other cat who is a bit handicapped, over weight and just a sweet cat who has a kind heart! Babs would not hurt a fly but moves like I do most mornings, very slowing and slightly handicapped! But she and I are fed up with the opened mouth, sharp tooth attacks coming her way, and my way too at times. This overly energetic kitten is also an enjoyment to have around, a companion for all of us! But we do have a language barrier as no one understands sign language!! My latest method of "dealing" is stomping my foot on the floor-ya that's not working so great.  Babs and I hear mournful crying whenever Frosty is left alone now, like the other day when Babs and I were upstairs. We both heard Frosty crying, we looked at each other and knew it would do no good to call or stomp as he would not hear us. Actually Babs gave me a look like please don't find him-I could relate! He got lost looking for us and I wasn't sure where he was for about 10 minutes as I'm sure he got side tracked while searching! But I knew as soon as he did find us as he was tormenting Babs with kitten bites and Babs was crying now. I also started to notice Frosty was starting to cower from me and I felt badly, after all he is a kitten, he needs to learn. Only I would have a deaf kitten and a handicapped, over-weight cat as part of my household. So to remedy the fear Frosty was having regarding me I started some one-on-one time. Time I would only spend with Babs before this. Well it is working! Frosty is my morning buddy, following me while Babs plays in the water from the shower. He helps me dry my hair. He can't hear the blow dryer and thinks it is great fun to have it blow on him! He grabs at my toes from under the bed while I dress and has now taken to jumping up on the counter to be closer to me while I continue to get ready. I think he enjoys it and he seems to be calming down! Yay! He's figuring out that I'm not a big meany but I can about him.

My point in all of this is you don't have to say a word and your actions speak louder than any words ever can. Even deaf kittens can tell how you feel and your attitude towards them. It's all in your approach-how you make them feel.

Positive thought of the day: I'm trying hard not to let my expressions and actions show to people I don't care for or what around...we are all human. For some people a kind word or look is the only nice part of their whole day.

Learning each day

I like to think that we all learn something new everyday. It can be any kind of knowledge, but learning means you are moving forward, living life. In reality I think we all learn many new things everyday but we may not always realize it at the time or ever in some cases. Some lessons are practical ones-like adding baking soda to the water when you boil eggs or getting a stain out of clothing. Other lessons are more educational like the meaning of a new word or how to do something you never thought of before. And there are those life lessons that come with life experiences that make you wiser!

I know it is not the end of the day and thinking back on what I learned each day should come at the end of the day, when the day is over and complete. But this is rolling around in my head now and is not all about just today, but in general. So here it comes out of my fingers and for you to read if you want!

Things I've learned:
-There are all kinds of people and you have to use a different set of rules and methods of dealing with each! There are nosy people, clueless people, people who would not know common sense if it kicked them in the shins, people who will schlep their way through life, people who will annoy the heck out of you, people who make you happy just to think about and the list goes on and on. You learn as you go!
 -Grapes taste better cold than at room temp-they are sweeter!
-People don't know how to push their chairs back in when they leave a table and yes adults are some of the worse at this.
-Some people are just naturally messy.
-Some people are over-the-top neat freaks and they have problems when things are not all organized in their little world. Messy people are more laid back! I have a foot in both the messy and the neat world-a happy medium-at least I think so!
-Some people just can not not talk LOUD. I think they like to hear themselves talk, I don't know I could be wrong. Or maybe they have a hearing problem?!
-There are some people and pets who you never forget. Their memories come back when you least expect it.
-Kittens bite-A LOT!
-Exercising puts you in a better mood-do it every day.
-You can tell some people something several times and they will still act surprised each time you tell or remind them, like it is the first time they've heard it....this drives me nuts.
-Once a mom, always a mom! And I understand my mom more and more each day-I wish she was here so I could tell her, but she knows.
-Alone and quiet time is good for you. It gives you the opportunity to do what you want, when you want and not live according to a schedule someone else has for you. If you choose to sit and watch tv and do nothing, that's your choice. If you choose to turn the world over and get as much as you can, that too is your choice. It's all your choice.
-Some people live from meal to meal. I can easily skip meals and have popcorn or a salad or cereal instead of a full blown sit down and eat meal. Where or what my next meal will be is not a source of constant concern for me-there are a lot more important things go be concerned about.
-We are all different shapes and sizes, weight and height. You are you, stop comparing yourself to someone else. Like what you see in the mirror not what you think other people think or how they see you. What they think of you is none of your business and who cares.  Love yourself and take care of yourself.
-Some people are so talented and they don't realized how talented they really are. I just want to shake them and tell them to wake up and use those talents!!
-Some people are just slow to pick up on things. Your dirty dishes sitting around for days is annoying and makes me a little more irritated each day-especially when it is at work. Be responsible, unless you are like 3-years old.
-The dehumidifier does not empty it's self and fills up fast when it is hot and humid out. No magic involved here, but some people are oblivious here.
-There are people who constantly say one thing and then do another. They ask or make promises then bale on you. Leave them be and don't believe a word they say, it's all about them.
-Be positive, no matter what the situation or day brings, helps make life better. Don't let people suck your fun circuits dry.
Live and learn....

Positive thought of the day: Think about all the life lessons you've learned, good, bad or otherwise they make us who we are and happen for a reason.

Home!

Home! What is home? Is it the house where you grew up? Or the place you live now, be it a tent, an apartment or a dorm room?

For me home is where you make it!

As I watched my first born child drive down the street early this morning in a moving truck towing a trailer with a car attached I watched until I could not see them any more....gone. I stood briefly in the middle of the street and look back at the house where we had carried his belongings out of yesterday to load and move nine hours away. The same house we've celebrated birthdays and holidays and came home to and left countless times-it's just a house like any other house.

I'm excited for this next chapter for Ryan, and for all of us. But on the flip side my heart ached to walk by that room knowing his visits would be fewer and short from here on out. His room will always be his room, but this is different-no longer a student but working and having a career I know life and distance will make the opportunities few and far between.

On the pillows of his bed was his teddy bear-a gift when he was a newborn and named Fischer when I walk by his room after he left this morning. Fischer was always a source of comfort for Ryan. A bed buddy for many years. He has came and went as far as appearances. He was around through the childhood and early elementary years, then kind of was forgotten and put away as the teen years rolled around. He's been washed and dried a lot and has traveled many times to various places, but he is still in great shape for a bear of 26!  Fischer resurfaced this past summer from the attic when Ranen found him and put him in Ryan's room. And now Fischer is a reminder of that tiny baby boy that I was so unprepared to take care of 26+years ago when we brought him home from the hospital and I was all alone within an hour after getting home! I remember Fischer in the school bag on teddy bear day, or always on Ryan's bed. And next to him each night when I would go into the kids room for one last look, kiss them on the forehead and a whispered "I love you" which I did for years. I still think of each of them each night and tell them I love them, even though they are not here but many miles away-that's life.

Now Fischer is a source of comfort for me. He will reside in Ryan's room and wait for his next visit when ever that will be. And if Fischer is chosen some day to make the trip to Ryan's new home in the future that is okay for he will be home where he should be, with Ryan.

So as there is a different feeling in the house with Ryan and most of his belongings gone it is okay. He's doing what HE wants!

Home for me is when ever and where ever we are all together. And the funny thing is I still find myself calling my hometown "home" even though I have no place to go, no parents to visit, no house to stay at. Home is where you make it so make it a place you love to be, make great memories and love those who are with you.

Positive though of the day: I'm so bless to have family and people who I love.

One last piece update...

Okay, I blogged about bringing home mom's sewing machine. The machine works and going through the drawers was a trip down memory lane-all good. But the best find, in the bottom drawer while looking through everything, I found an odd item. Under a bunch of sewing supplies I found a pair of pale yellow bobby socks. Mom always wore bobby socks and the fact that these were oddly found in the sewing machine drawer, they are mom's, they are yellow-mom's favorite color. Well I can't help but think mom put these socks there for someone, me perhaps, to find. Why they are in there or got there is anyone's guess. The fact that they are pale yellow, her all time favorite color right away told me mom was there and she put there there for a reason. I'm not sure if it was a reminder or one of her shenanigans but regardless they make me smile : )
So now what will I do with those socks, I'm not sure but they are truly a sign that her spirit lives on!
Thanks mom!

Day all to myself

I will admit that being home alone, a day, all to myself, has always been a highlight-even as a kid when I could stay home alone. And I loved staying home with my kids when they were small or home from school sick and summer vacation. But the prospect of having an entire day to do absolutely what I want, when I want is a treat. I don't have to be any where or meet a schedule are truly a treat.
A day all to myself is a treat!  And my prospective agenda can include any of the following:
-eat cereal for lunch and/or supper (or popcorn)
-watch movies or recorded things on the DVR
-READ!!! Always a treat. And not have to stop until I want to.
-start a project and finish it without having to run here or there or stop to make a meal and clean up from it!
-clean out, toss, re-arrange, paint, rip out carpet or some house project that I want with no vetoing or  comments like "I like the color, why are you changing it?" or the like.
-I can type a blog without interruption, except for a pesky kitten who thinks he needs to play-constantly!!
-nap if I want or need to
In short anything I want. Okay I will admit having too much unscheduled time on my hands is not good, I get bored or off track. I need schedules and a goal to reach. But I guess the biggest treat of this day is the entire day is all mine to use as I want.

So getting the things I needed to get done off my list early leaves me the rest of the day to play and relax and enjoy. And this time I hope a pesky tree fire won't change and ruin plans, but oh well, at least things aren't dull!

Positive thought of the day: Enjoy the quiet, down times. Life is busy and I know having too much time alone is not good. But having time to yourself to do what YOU want is so nice.

Best friends

My mom had a best friend, a friendship that lasted over 47 years. By today's standards that is a long time and an accomplishment. And even though mom is no longer here, Mrs. K, as we've always called her, is still my mom's best friend. Mrs. K is as close as I feel I can get to mom still here on earth.

These two met in a very traditional way, their daughters were in the same grade and a slumber party invite was the first meeting. Being a typical parent and newly widowed Mrs. K wanted to see and find out where she was sending her handicapped daughter for an over night stay. From this a friendship was born. Not the friendship of my sister and Mrs. K's daughter, but that of mom and Mrs. K.

The pair came from two different worlds. Mom grew up, married and lived in the same area her whole life. Mrs. K has made it through tragedy-a war and loosing her parents, sister and home, then moving to a new country with her husband who was a doctor. But the death of her husband found Mrs. K alone in this new country with six young children to raise. It takes a tough person to endure and live through all of this much less continue and raise her kids alone.

But these two became fast and true friends for many, many years. Through raising kids, family crisis, life changes, health issues and just life in general they were two peas in a pod coming from completely different worlds.

Each time I go back home I stop to see Mrs. K. She and I always had a fun, joking relationship. And visiting and seeing her makes me feel close to mom. I know the pair shared a great deal over the years, things that neither shared with anyone else. Is that not what best friends are for? They would talk weekly, several times, maybe even daily. The meals at each others homes were always a special occasion. It meant great food by each cook but always fun-I learned a great deal about table manners from these meals. We'd sit at the dining room table, use the good china  and there would be wine and plain and simple delicious food at both homes. Both women were/are fantastic cooks. I always looked forward to these meals-lots of great memories.

Mrs. K's German accent was always a source of amusement for us. Her pronunciation of the English language often caused a communication barrier and humor but that didn't stop the friendship. I still love to hear her accent! She asked me once if I like something I could not understand what she was trying to say, and after a bit of a struggle on her part to pronounce the work and me to understand,  I just said yes wondering what this would lead to....until she came out of the house with a container of yogurt! What she was saying sounded nothing like the word yogurt! This woman would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it, she is generous to a fault!

The bond these two woman bring so many memories for me. Like Mrs. K being the church organist and every time mom and dad were at church and went to communion she would play the song "Oh Lord I am not worthy" a song from their wedding and a favorite for them. Mrs. K would always bring gifts, thoughtful items for mom or for any of us-no occasion needed. These ranged from a candy bar to a keepsake German bracelet for me. She always put a lot of thought and love into her gifts.

So stopping last week for a brief hour brings back great memories for me and comfort. Mrs. K still has her spunk but she misses my mom deeply and talks about memories and shenanigans the two took part in! I love to hear her talk about mom. Both had great senses of humor and work ethics that make me proud to know these two women. Mrs. K is one of the few reasons why I go back home-she is part of my roots that draws me back. I can feel mom in the room with us.

My sister and Mrs. K's daughter's friendship has went by the wayside but mom and Mrs. K are what friendship is all about, lasting through good times and bad. I don't recall these two ever fighting or disagreeing. Both depended on the other for a variety of reasons. It was an honor to witness and be a part of. It makes my heartache to know that the visits between these two are when Mrs. K now gets a ride to the cemetery and visits mom's grave. She makes sure the grave always looks nice and has something on it to show that mom and dad are remembered and loved, and it is usually yellow. For her care I so appreciate her.

Friends come and go in our lives but the true friends are there whether you talk to them everyday or it is years and you meet up and pick up right where you left off the last time you saw each other-that's friendship. Having such a friendship is a blessing that not everyone is blessed with. And witnessing these two women living their different lives and yet their friendship held strong-what a great example. Oh to be so blessed!

Friends come and go in your life but the ones who come into your life and stay are truly gifts from God, a blessing.

Positive thought of the day: Appreciate the people who are friends in you life. They are here for a reason and the ones who stick around or come back and are still tried and true friends are there for a reason and a gift from God. Call these people and talk or do something, keep them close! They are blessings in your life.

*To my best friend, who I've known for 30+ years thank you. We may not see each other or talk very often we can still pick up exactly where we left off the last time we saw each other and make an hour seem like five minutes! And it amazes me every time! Love ya' Shelly.

Going home

Home-what does it mean? Is it a dwelling where you live, eat, sleep, etc. or is it a safe haven from the world. It is a large building or a small little cottage? A tent or a cabin by a lake? A modern apartment or condo? Or a room in a dorm or a nursing home. Regardless, everyone has their own idea and definition of "home".

Going home for me has always been going back to my home town. Back to where I was born and raised. My earliest memories are from that town, the school, church and farm and house where I grew up.

And even with the farm and house in town no longer part of my life in any way, driving past, looking and seeing the changes that have been made I still go back to fond memories from both places. Yes, it is sad that I can no longer pull in the driveway and stroll right into the house. I miss that. I miss the familiar faces, voices and hugs I would get, the smells. Those days are gone.

But what has become even tougher for me now is that there is no one there to go see, that mainly being mom and dad. There are a handful of friends and a few relatives I can stop and see, who are always welcoming. But the familiar comfort of my mom and dad are gone. I stop by the cemetery to visit their grave. Grateful for the time I had with them, happy I was so lucky, sad because I miss them so much and wish I could stop by more than a couple times a year. I know how much visiting the cemetery and putting flowers on the grave was to my parents.

But I am blessed. Even though my trips back home are few and short lived I still find comfort along with the sadness in going back. In seeing familiar faces and places. To see the changes and how life continues. As I make those trips back I am reminded of lots of happy memories, life growing up and all the fun I had. I have mixed emotions going back and leaving but I know that part of my life is over and mom and dad are at peace and together.

So I guess for me going home is where ever and when ever I am with my family. Be it an apartment for family Easter, or meeting for a meal together or someplace new for an upcoming holiday, as long as some or all of us are together and making memories, that is home.

One last piece

I brought home the last piece today, the last piece of my mom's belongings-her sewing machine. It has been stored for the past 2+ years and came down to no one wanted it. I am thrilled to have it! I trekked it across state thinking on the way home about all the things mom had made with this machine. From clothes for her family to doll clothes, beautiful quilts-now treasured reminders of her, her love and her creative talents to all the mending- ripped jeans and overalls she had sewed over the years.

I looked in the drawers after I had help moving it into the house, not sure what I'd find, if anything. Both had items very typical of what mom usually kept in them, spools of different colored thread, needles, pins, scissors and other sewing items in the top drawer. The other drawer was filled with other sewing notions and items mom used and expected to use after she insisted on keeping the sewing machine and having it in her room at the nursing home. No one has used it, or sewed with it since the last time she had, which I'm sure is well over two years ago. What was the last thing she sewed? Did the machine work or frustrate her, which it often did? When was the last time she used it? We could tell in January of 2012 that things were changing and she was failing. Did she sit down to hem a pair of her pants  or fix a seam in a top early that year when she had the energy and felt well enough to do so? What made her want to keep this one of few things from her life as we emptied her home and her belongs went all different directions? Her room was filled with treasured items from 80+years of living. These items were treasured and ones she thought she would need and use-things she didn't want to part with. Did she use the machine much in the year and a half that she had it in her room? I don't honestly know. I know her sewing machine was very important to her. I think it gave her a sense of security as she entered what was the final phase of her life.

Mom was a lot like this old sewing machine. She held things together. Her seams were strong and tight most days. She had tight stitching which makes a seem strong and durable-which was what mom was. The sewing machine cabinet is a nice looking wood. When the machine was stored in the cabinet it was a nice looking piece of furniture which did not look like a sewing machine cabinet. The machine it's self is a strong, sturdy machine which over the last 12  years of mom's life had been to the sewing machine doctor and hospital-just like mom. The repair man did all he could to keep her treasured sewing machine running for her-very much like mom's doctor and nurses tried to do. The machine's gears were metal, something they don't make any more and finding metal replacement parts is very difficult, if not impossible. A lot like mom-she was a tough lady, made of metal and a work horse, just like the sewing machine.

I'm not sure if the machine works. And if it does not work, if it can be fixed any more? I learned to sew on this machine and sewed a great deal on it too-but not as much as mom did. Once I empty the drawers and go through everything what will I find? What reminders of mom will there be? Like the gentle reminders I find, very unexpected monthly, weekly and sometimes daily of her and my dad. They are often things I've forgotten and bring a smile to my face, but tears to my eyes and make my heart ache for how much I miss them. If it works what can I sew so I can continue to carry on mom's legacy? I guess time will tell.

I'm not sure if it ironic that I brought mom's sewing machine home or if it was another way for me to refresh her memory. I know I'm the only daughter who still sews and I think mom is happy that her machine came home with me. So regardless if it works or not, with it comes a lot of memories-mostly all good except for when the sewing did go so well, and my mom, usually a very patient person would turn red and start to sweat and get very frustrated with her sewing machine. I personally found her reaction to a sewing that was acting up humorous as mom had the patience of a saint. It took a lot to frustrate her, much less make her a little bit angry!

What, if anything, this old machine will sew and help create remains to be seen. But I brought home the last piece of my mom and her creativity and love she sewed for her family. I'm glad it's here and with it, for me, comes many, many memories of a wonderful lady who loved with all her heart, taught me so much and I miss daily. I love you sew much mom! (Yes I just made a pun).

Positive thought of the day: I hope I have and/or can give my kids happy memories like I have of my my mom.

Things taken for granted

Have you ever stopped just for a moment to think about all you have, all you have been given and blessed with that we take for granted? The ability to get out of bed each morning. Yes some mornings it may hurt to get moving but at least we are moving. The ability to see, although it may be blurry or not as focused as we'd like, at least we can see. The breath you take, the heart that beats steady and strong...all are blessings we take for granted-every day, every hour, every minute, every second.

The reason for this blog, I just read of a coworkers grandson, almost two-years old, who is battling a brain tumor. Wow, talk about putting your life in perspective. So when it's hot out and it costs to run the AC, or the oil needs to be changed in the car or you need to get a gallon of milk, or you knee hurts from being on the treadmill. Big deal. These are all little things that we let bog down our days, take up precious time and interfere in our lives. Unimportant things that take up too much of our time and thoughts. Big deal, it's not a big deal at all.

How blessed we are is something we all take for granted and forget to appreciate. This is normal. This is human nature and does not mean we are awful people. Just take a moment each day, each morning or evening or while driving or walking or in a quiet moment of the day and appreciate, thank God and value all we have. The challenges and sometimes tough times, they could be a lot worse. And I am a firm believer that God does not give us anything that HE AND I can't handle TOGETHER. So stop worrying and thinking it is all on you-let God do his thing, after all he brought you to this and he's always there, even while we are sleeping or forget  or take for granted life and all it's blessing both good and bad.

As soon as I read about the little guy with the brain tumor I stopped and said a prayer for him, his parents (what they must be going through) his grandparents, aunts, uncle, family and friends. BUT I also included in the prayer the doctors, nurses, lab techs and everyone who is helping care for this little boy. They are all part of the big picture that will hopefully give this little boy the chance at life that he deserves. They are all where they are suppose to be and a blessing.

So for a moment today, tomorrow, everyday, when ever you think about it-stop, breath, think and thank God and appreciate all that we have and are blessed with. Life is a gift. No one knows how long we have that gift, so appreciate it, make the most of it and live it. No one is guaranteed to be here at the end of the day or wake up tomorrow. We are so very, very blessed...

Positive thought of the day: Life and all those who are part of mine. Love ya'.

Wake up!!!

This blog is addressed to ANYONE who has, will or is currently living with someone. Regardless if it is a spouse, significant other, parents or siblings but primarily if that other person is a FEMALE,
this is a reminder that just like you, your "room mate" works at a job and/or goes to school and/or does something outside the home at least 8 hours a day, five days or more a week. I typically work outside the home over 40 hours a week. The key phrase here is OUTSIDE the home. I then work my other job as soon as I step foot in my house and I work this other job seven days a week, 365 days a year, 52 weeks a year, 24 hours a day when I'm not at my job outside the home-do you get where I'm going with this? (I also work two other part time jobs, coaching and the newspaper as well. Or and there is some of the yard work and snow removal that I do too.)

I've came to the conclusion that some people in this world do not know the  following (or have forgotten)-so READ and LEARN or please take note for future reference-(if) you need it-Learn this while you're young:

-where milk comes from or where to go BUY some more without being told. It is found at a place called the grocery store, in the refrigerator section-near the beer. Buy 2 gallons so you don't run out so quick. It's that E-A-S-Y! Yes!!!!
-HOW to change a toilet paper roll or where to purchase more-as it must magically appear as soon as we run low-the TP fairy drops it down the chimney! (I wish). TP is usually located not too far away from the milk section at the grocery store. When the roll is empty change it. Oh and by the way if the toilet needs to be cleaned just do it! You can find what you need to clean it very close by usually. Just do it!! Surprise your room mate and be considerate.
-If you use it up- write it down on a grocery list so more can be bought. Telling someone who is doing a half-dozen other things is not always a sure fire way to deal with this situation, and it may not be remembered. Ask if there is a grocery list. This is not hard as most 1st graders know how to read and write. Or get what you used up-replacing it and be an all-star room mate!!!
-Wash your dishes/ rinse them so we do not start an ant farm or some other kind of nasty bug infestation or worse yet the place STINKS. It does not take a degree in engineering to figure this out. I was "helping" wash dishes when I was 4 years old (yes it was mainly to play in the water but regardless it taught me how.) Just WASH them and put them away either after drying them or after they air dry, meaning within an hour-don't live out of your dish drainer-yuck.
-If you make a mess clean it up! If you are going to let things soak, then do so for 20 minutes, go back and clean up. Letting things "soak" or I'll clean it up later which is still a mess 3-days later is not good-it's gross and rude and a sure fire way to make your "room mate" unhappy.  Just clean up after yourself. 
-When the garbage is full or worse SMELLS- take it out!!! It does not magically only get full on garbage day-good grief. It's good weight lifting too.
-if it belongs to you or you put it down or drop it- PICK IT UP and here's a tough one...PUT IT AWAY.
-there are two neat gadgets that you need to get acquainted with, one is called the washing machine and the other equally cool one is called a dryer. These are used to wash YOUR clothes in and dry them. They too do not magically wash, dry, fold, make their way up the stairs or put themselves away. If you wear it you wash it or at least help out.
-Think about what is on the bottom of your shoes-ya know all the crap that you step in/on outside the house? Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Well when you walk around the house with your shoes on you bring that crap INSIDE. TAKE OFF your shoes and put them on as you are leaving. It is not a hard concept just think about the shit you are dragging in and guess what it means---- more cleaning when you do this kind of crap. 
--I've yet to see a self cleaning house. Vacuum/sweep/dust/clean a toilet/clean a sink (any of these) just once in a while and do it just because, not because someone is coming over or your "room mate" is pissed because you've done nothing but watch tv and sit on your butt for the past 8 hours while she has ran around like a nut trying to get things done. Or better yet, make it a habit! Things routinely get cleaned probably on a weekly basis by the other person who does not get to come home every evening, sit, have a meal cooked for them and then cleaned up and put away, even on those days when they don't feel like it-they still do it. They also probably are doing a host of other things while cooking like cleaning, laundry and taking care of other household chores too numerous to mention. You help make it dirty, help keep it clean.
-If you are the last one eating put the food away and wash your dishes. Food sitting out all night is no longer good for consumption. Nothing puts me in a happy mood than having to come back and put food away 4 hours after I made it or doing supper dishes the next morning because I cleaned up the night before but it was too much work for someone to get things out to the kitchen when things are being cleaned up.) That's just a dandy way to end or start my day-NOT.
-Think about guests when you have them-if you are eating or drinking something then ask and offer your guest a drink or food...it's just damn rude to eat in front of guests without offering and asking them first. Have a little decorum and manners. And finally don't just walk off and go to bed when you have guests-were you born in a barn? Plain and simple manners.

This is just my advice to you in plain and simple terms: WAKE the heck up!!  I mean this in a kind way but come on. We are not living in the 1900's where the women did everything in the home BUT did not work outside the home-home was their work. Yes I know very well it is stressful to work and go to school and there are a ton of demands -we all have it, but you live in the house/apartment/condo/hut/tent too-do your share. If everyone does their part, helps out and is responsible then life can be enjoyed not spent working or living in your work 24/7. It is not fun to have your feet hit the floor every morning and you are immediately at work. Or to have every day going from one job to another with little or no help.

If I've heard my father in-law say it once, I've heard him say it several dozen times, that he did not realize all the work his wife did at home after she worked outside the home all day for years and while raising kids. It now takes several adults to keep that house some what operational-she worked her butt off, and now after she is gone, it is noticed-sad. 

Okay, I'm done with my tirade but take this as friendly advice, life at home is a lot better if you just do your share and be an active room mate rather than acting like a lazy, rude guest.

Positive thought of the day: More like advice-be a good room mate, go pick up or vacuum, take out the garbage or do the dishes for your "room mate" -life will be a lot better for both of you.   

Never stop

This may sounds like an odd thing to do but just for kicks I went to Pinterest and challenged myself to find the first saying that clicked with me and use it to motivate for my day and my blog so here it is.....

And....well this is pretty much just good practice. I'm sure there are dozens of ways to do this and show the people you care about how much you do care. We tend to take for granted and often forget how important those we love and care about are to us. We are so use to them that we just don't think about them or show them how much they mean. And we all forget to continue to show them what they mean until they are gone or something "wakes us up".
We need to remember that our loved ones are gifts from God, and you never know when that gift will be called home.
For me this is my family and a few good friends...you mean the world to me! And I hope you know how much you do mean to me.

Positive thoughts...love the sound of nature. Today that is the rain and a gentle thunderstorm.

Life lessons from a kitten

Who would think that as an adult I'd learn and be reminded of simple lessons in life from a small kitten? I certainly did not, nor did I realize that until last night. So despite this kitten spending a short four days in my house he touched my life and heart, he taught me lessons and reminded me not to take for granted the simple things in life.

1. Be friendly, say hello and if you need to be loud, do it! Meow as loud as you can or need to!
2. Eat what you want to eat!
3. Explore. Get out there is see what is around you. Do not be afraid!
4. Climb to new heights! Dig your claws in and just go for it.
5. Do not be afraid to show people that you love them. Get up there and hug and tell them.
6. Sleep when you can but enjoy life and don't miss out.
7. Keep trying even when you don't succeed.
8. Love life. Purr every day!
Thanks for the reminders and lessons little guy. You are missed!

One small positive: The birds that start singing bright and early. We are so fortunate to have them and their beautiful songs. They start each day with a song. We need to do that too.

What July means to me

Here we are to the month of July...over halfway through the year. People say that after the 4th it is all downhill and that school is right around the corner...ugh! Several people have birthdays in July. My daughter was suppose to be born in July, the 28th, but she held out and chose August as her  birth month.
I was suppose to be born in July, the 4th but I showed up a month and a day earlier than planned. Instead my oldest niece was born on the 4th. I was the ripe old age of 7 years old when she was born. A few things about her arrival made an impression on me.
My neighbor growing up was born the 3rd of July, the year before I was born and her name is Lynn Marie too.
My uncle passed away on the 4th of July, and I remember details of the night before and morning of his passing even now and I was just a 4th grader. I have no idea why his death left an impression. It might be because he was the first person close to me to pass away, I'm not sure.
The 4th of July holds lots of great memories for me otherwise. My dad and brothers making the trip down to Missouri to bring home illegal fireworks and all the fun we had with them! (except the one time my mom was goofing around and thought she'd play a trick on my dad or brother and toss a firecracker as they started the pickup and thinking it was back firing. Instead the firecracker had a short fuse and her thumb was injured. She took it in stride and spoke of it years later with a laugh as the trick was on her instead of them). We always had a picnic on the 4th and either shot off our own fireworks or watched the ones from Independence in the evening. Great memories.
The 4th of July was, and probably still one of my favorite holidays, it does not require a lot of work, no shopping for presents and the menu can change by whatever the cook wanted to make. No holiday shopping for items to keep traditions. No 4th of July outfits like at Christmas or Easter. It could be burgers or steaks on the grill or whatever you want. You eat outside and relax and spend the day as you like.
Independence, IA has a great parade, I rode my horse in it a couple of times. It is a real parade with floats, and bands and all the things that a real parade has, usually lasting well over an hour. I still miss the Independence 4th of July parade and it has been years since I've seen it. 
So as busy as life is as this month starts I have fond memories and lots of special people who celebrate this month of their birth!
Here's to hoping it is a good month, full of lots of blessing, happy memories and time spent with great people.

Positive thought of the day: What beautiful weather we finally have. It has not rained in 24-hours, it has cooled off and less humidity and the best of all the sun is shining. : )