Going home

Home-what does it mean? Is it a dwelling where you live, eat, sleep, etc. or is it a safe haven from the world. It is a large building or a small little cottage? A tent or a cabin by a lake? A modern apartment or condo? Or a room in a dorm or a nursing home. Regardless, everyone has their own idea and definition of "home".

Going home for me has always been going back to my home town. Back to where I was born and raised. My earliest memories are from that town, the school, church and farm and house where I grew up.

And even with the farm and house in town no longer part of my life in any way, driving past, looking and seeing the changes that have been made I still go back to fond memories from both places. Yes, it is sad that I can no longer pull in the driveway and stroll right into the house. I miss that. I miss the familiar faces, voices and hugs I would get, the smells. Those days are gone.

But what has become even tougher for me now is that there is no one there to go see, that mainly being mom and dad. There are a handful of friends and a few relatives I can stop and see, who are always welcoming. But the familiar comfort of my mom and dad are gone. I stop by the cemetery to visit their grave. Grateful for the time I had with them, happy I was so lucky, sad because I miss them so much and wish I could stop by more than a couple times a year. I know how much visiting the cemetery and putting flowers on the grave was to my parents.

But I am blessed. Even though my trips back home are few and short lived I still find comfort along with the sadness in going back. In seeing familiar faces and places. To see the changes and how life continues. As I make those trips back I am reminded of lots of happy memories, life growing up and all the fun I had. I have mixed emotions going back and leaving but I know that part of my life is over and mom and dad are at peace and together.

So I guess for me going home is where ever and when ever I am with my family. Be it an apartment for family Easter, or meeting for a meal together or someplace new for an upcoming holiday, as long as some or all of us are together and making memories, that is home.