One last piece

I brought home the last piece today, the last piece of my mom's belongings-her sewing machine. It has been stored for the past 2+ years and came down to no one wanted it. I am thrilled to have it! I trekked it across state thinking on the way home about all the things mom had made with this machine. From clothes for her family to doll clothes, beautiful quilts-now treasured reminders of her, her love and her creative talents to all the mending- ripped jeans and overalls she had sewed over the years.

I looked in the drawers after I had help moving it into the house, not sure what I'd find, if anything. Both had items very typical of what mom usually kept in them, spools of different colored thread, needles, pins, scissors and other sewing items in the top drawer. The other drawer was filled with other sewing notions and items mom used and expected to use after she insisted on keeping the sewing machine and having it in her room at the nursing home. No one has used it, or sewed with it since the last time she had, which I'm sure is well over two years ago. What was the last thing she sewed? Did the machine work or frustrate her, which it often did? When was the last time she used it? We could tell in January of 2012 that things were changing and she was failing. Did she sit down to hem a pair of her pants  or fix a seam in a top early that year when she had the energy and felt well enough to do so? What made her want to keep this one of few things from her life as we emptied her home and her belongs went all different directions? Her room was filled with treasured items from 80+years of living. These items were treasured and ones she thought she would need and use-things she didn't want to part with. Did she use the machine much in the year and a half that she had it in her room? I don't honestly know. I know her sewing machine was very important to her. I think it gave her a sense of security as she entered what was the final phase of her life.

Mom was a lot like this old sewing machine. She held things together. Her seams were strong and tight most days. She had tight stitching which makes a seem strong and durable-which was what mom was. The sewing machine cabinet is a nice looking wood. When the machine was stored in the cabinet it was a nice looking piece of furniture which did not look like a sewing machine cabinet. The machine it's self is a strong, sturdy machine which over the last 12  years of mom's life had been to the sewing machine doctor and hospital-just like mom. The repair man did all he could to keep her treasured sewing machine running for her-very much like mom's doctor and nurses tried to do. The machine's gears were metal, something they don't make any more and finding metal replacement parts is very difficult, if not impossible. A lot like mom-she was a tough lady, made of metal and a work horse, just like the sewing machine.

I'm not sure if the machine works. And if it does not work, if it can be fixed any more? I learned to sew on this machine and sewed a great deal on it too-but not as much as mom did. Once I empty the drawers and go through everything what will I find? What reminders of mom will there be? Like the gentle reminders I find, very unexpected monthly, weekly and sometimes daily of her and my dad. They are often things I've forgotten and bring a smile to my face, but tears to my eyes and make my heart ache for how much I miss them. If it works what can I sew so I can continue to carry on mom's legacy? I guess time will tell.

I'm not sure if it ironic that I brought mom's sewing machine home or if it was another way for me to refresh her memory. I know I'm the only daughter who still sews and I think mom is happy that her machine came home with me. So regardless if it works or not, with it comes a lot of memories-mostly all good except for when the sewing did go so well, and my mom, usually a very patient person would turn red and start to sweat and get very frustrated with her sewing machine. I personally found her reaction to a sewing that was acting up humorous as mom had the patience of a saint. It took a lot to frustrate her, much less make her a little bit angry!

What, if anything, this old machine will sew and help create remains to be seen. But I brought home the last piece of my mom and her creativity and love she sewed for her family. I'm glad it's here and with it, for me, comes many, many memories of a wonderful lady who loved with all her heart, taught me so much and I miss daily. I love you sew much mom! (Yes I just made a pun).

Positive thought of the day: I hope I have and/or can give my kids happy memories like I have of my my mom.