I recently had a conversation with someone about our bucket lists. It seems that having a bucket list, as it is now called, is a must if you are a living, breathing human being. This idea is nothing new. While I'm not making fun of the concept, I find calling it a bucket list makes it kind of depressing. So once your bucket list is complete or your bucket is empty are you done-no more goals, no more plans, nothing else to work for? You just wait for your last day. Honestly I think we all have an ongoing list of things we want to accomplish, either in the next hour, by the end of the day, week, month, year, five years or the end of your life. What you do with that list is more important then what is on that list.
I kind of felt like an under achiever when I started to think about what
is on my bucket list. Some people have grand things on their list,
traveling, eating exotic food or doing daredevil things. The few things
that I can come up with on my list are pretty simple, tame and not
impressive. But that's okay. I'm okay with that. I'm sure I'll come up
with a lot more things for my list, impressive or not they are my
things, my list.
One of my bucket list items was to have children in time so they would know their grandparents. I missed out on the grandparent experience and I really wanted my kids to have that, learn from their grandparents and make some great memories. Well that one worked out and there was time spent with all four grandparents and memories made. This bucket list item was more for my kids than me. But it was fun to watch and witness and it made me realize what I missed out on. Take that one off my list.
Another bucket list item that would be on my list if I had not achieved it when in high school was to fly in a hot air balloon. It was an opportunity that just fell into my life and I took advantage of it. If you ever get the chance -do it. It is such a peaceful experience and a whole new way to see the world. We all need to look at the world from a different angle occasionally.
Climbing the Flat Irons out in Boulder, Colorado was another item recently taken off my list. Yes I struggled with the altitude for a while and I ran out of energy sooner than I would have liked due to just getting over a virus. But it was such a cool experience. I'd do it again, if I had the chance. The views and the experience were breath taking. And the best part was the people who were with me to do this. So cool.
A bucket list item that is approaching quickly is a three-fold one and that is being part and attending the wedding of all three of my kids. What an exciting time! And having the opportunity to do this is exciting. This is my main bucket list item from July through next January!
I'm sure there are other things that I've had on a list that could or would be considered bucket list material but I can't think of anything great right this instance. But my whole point in all of this is your bucket list does not have be grand or impressive. It can be as simple as finishing a book you've been reading or going to France. Or making it through a tough day or time in your life. Like I said at the start of this blog-what you do with that list is more important than what is on that list. I don't want to be one of those people who are "someday people" they are always looking ahead to "someday, I'll do this or go here". The list can be as simple as can be but doing what is on that list is the most important thing. Living life and making the most of the opportunities and moments, making memories.
I had a mom who loved china and dishes and having dinner guests and cooking. She took pride in her meals and fine looking table settings. It was fun and I got to help. But one of the things I remember is the pretty soaps and towels we would save and put out in the bathroom for these occasions. When we emptied mom's house before she passed away I found these special guest towels and soaps in the bathroom drawer. The towels were like new, hardly used. The soaps had lost their scent and were a bit dusty and faded from sitting out and not being used. The soap got tossed out, never used and the towels are now in my collection of bathroom towels. And you know what-I use them! They get put out for use on a weekly basis, they are everyday towels not because they are no longer pretty or special but because they are towels, every day is special and a special occasion. I think of my mom and how she liked fine things but didn't always use them, she'd save them. We all have those items we are saving, keeping for some day. If it wears out that's okay. That's what it is there for. So rather than perfecting your bucket list, live and it-do it! And don't let anyone make you feel foolish or like a failure for what is on your bucket list. Use up life, live the moments. Make memories. Do what makes you happy. Because no one knows when our expiration date is. Make everyday a collection of things on your bucket list that you do and check off and if you don't get them checked off there is always tomorrow!
Positive thought of the day: Do what makes you happy and makes you feel fulfilled-even if it is going for a walk or making cookies. This is your life-live it, don't watch it pass you by.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Some things never change
Lack of being prepared is part of life. I get that. I know some people are over the top when it comes to being prepared. I picture uptight, always organized, everything in it's place kind of people when I think of the over prepared type. They get their panties in a wad if life does not go just as planned or if they are not prepared. These are the women with huge purses and if you ask for the most obscure thing they have it in their hot little hands before you finish asking for it! I both laugh and am in awe of these people. How do they know, much less prepare for a day, life or even an hour of their life? Lots and lots of time! I am not one of these people. I've tried but not happening-life does not seem like much fun when always trying to be one step ahead.
Then there is the complete opposite grouping-they are always running late, always flying by the seat of their pants. These people drive me nuts-I am NOT one of these people either. I don't want to be but there are a few moments here and there where I wonder I am one of these discombobulated people. Man I hope not.
And I'd like to think I'm a happy medium to both sides of this coin, not overly prepared nor a slob flying in with toilet paper stuck to my shoe and a disheveled mess. I try to fly right but under the radar is how I like to put it.
Being back working with kids is always an adventure. Why would I expect the first day of a new semester to be anything different than before-it never goes as planned, just like most days. But it's not the kids who don't have their heads screwed on right today, okay maybe one young lady who wanted lunch time to run according to her own little world and schedule and had zero regard to me-think again sister. But it's the adults who think working in education is only an 8-3:50 job. If anything education is anything but that. You have to come in early, stay late and put in the time. People are depending on you. Unless you a.) don't care b.) are oblivious to those around you (then you need to find a new line of work-"does not play well with others" comes to mind) c.) WAKE UP! Really!
And sadly this is what seems to be the norm now - those who do the bare minimum and/or do a lousy job at their job get less responsibility while those who work their ass off get more and more heaped on them with the same pay. I think this theory is in every line of work, or at least most. Buy why? Why do things always go the way of the lazy piles who freeload through life. We all were put in those groups in school where you had the brain, the worker(s) and then the lazy good for nothing. And everyone but that "one" would work their tail off on a group project and the lazy good for nothing would either get a free ride and get a good grade or bring everyone in the group down. That's the story of our workforce now and life quite often.
But my whole point today is being prepared in life, not over the top but a happy medium. Be responsible, do your part and show up (on time would be nice). And life goes a lot better for all concerned-think about someone other than yourself would be a start.
I was honestly looking forward to school today. To being back in a routine and having structor to my life. Yes, this is going to be a great year. And then it all went to hell in a hand basket when someone, an adult, who is supposed to do her job and be responsible, dropped the ball yet again. Come on. I know I should not let it ruin my day and I'm righting that ship that went down quickly this a.m. while I was trying to get stuff done with what I thought was my free time. All I'm asking is TWO lousy days of the year that this person DO her job and not half assed which is what it has been.
Okay, I'm done with my rant. Life is looking better and I'm learning to do what I need to prevent people like this who don't do their job so that it does not affect me like it did this a.m. Being overly prepared is annoying at times but not as bad as those drop the ball. Nothing every goes as planned....
Then there is the complete opposite grouping-they are always running late, always flying by the seat of their pants. These people drive me nuts-I am NOT one of these people either. I don't want to be but there are a few moments here and there where I wonder I am one of these discombobulated people. Man I hope not.
And I'd like to think I'm a happy medium to both sides of this coin, not overly prepared nor a slob flying in with toilet paper stuck to my shoe and a disheveled mess. I try to fly right but under the radar is how I like to put it.
Being back working with kids is always an adventure. Why would I expect the first day of a new semester to be anything different than before-it never goes as planned, just like most days. But it's not the kids who don't have their heads screwed on right today, okay maybe one young lady who wanted lunch time to run according to her own little world and schedule and had zero regard to me-think again sister. But it's the adults who think working in education is only an 8-3:50 job. If anything education is anything but that. You have to come in early, stay late and put in the time. People are depending on you. Unless you a.) don't care b.) are oblivious to those around you (then you need to find a new line of work-"does not play well with others" comes to mind) c.) WAKE UP! Really!
And sadly this is what seems to be the norm now - those who do the bare minimum and/or do a lousy job at their job get less responsibility while those who work their ass off get more and more heaped on them with the same pay. I think this theory is in every line of work, or at least most. Buy why? Why do things always go the way of the lazy piles who freeload through life. We all were put in those groups in school where you had the brain, the worker(s) and then the lazy good for nothing. And everyone but that "one" would work their tail off on a group project and the lazy good for nothing would either get a free ride and get a good grade or bring everyone in the group down. That's the story of our workforce now and life quite often.
But my whole point today is being prepared in life, not over the top but a happy medium. Be responsible, do your part and show up (on time would be nice). And life goes a lot better for all concerned-think about someone other than yourself would be a start.
I was honestly looking forward to school today. To being back in a routine and having structor to my life. Yes, this is going to be a great year. And then it all went to hell in a hand basket when someone, an adult, who is supposed to do her job and be responsible, dropped the ball yet again. Come on. I know I should not let it ruin my day and I'm righting that ship that went down quickly this a.m. while I was trying to get stuff done with what I thought was my free time. All I'm asking is TWO lousy days of the year that this person DO her job and not half assed which is what it has been.
Okay, I'm done with my rant. Life is looking better and I'm learning to do what I need to prevent people like this who don't do their job so that it does not affect me like it did this a.m. Being overly prepared is annoying at times but not as bad as those drop the ball. Nothing every goes as planned....
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Where does the time go?
Two weeks ago tonight I was reluctantly going to practice, frantically planning meals and grocery lists and what I had to buy yet, what needed to be wrapped and dreading three long days of school until Christmas break...and here we are, two weeks later.
Christmas 2015 is in the books. I will admit it was a bit different, good, but different. I had to adjust to the fact that for the first time in 28 years child #1 was not going to be coming home. It was an adjustment, yes I missed him. But we celebrated back in November and that was great. We got to see everyone via google hangout so it was the next best thing.
Spending Christmas eve eve with one of my best friends was just what I needed. We finished last minute shopping and took our selves out to eat! It was fun and I laughed a lot. This helped not only for the fact that I felt ready for Christmas but the next day Mother Nature blessed us with 9" of fluffy white snow. It was a picture perfect Christmas.
A lot happened over the past two weeks: gift were exchanged-early as a matter of fact because it was snowing, we were all together and could not get any place until the snow stopped, and everything was wrapped and ready and even the dang stockings were filled! It was a strange feeling to open presents in the daylight!
-We had lots of great food-I'm not bragging, just saying. But I will admit I'm kind of cooked out and out of meal ideas.
-We had lots of fun. Games and puzzles were played and put together. Books were read. Movies were watched. Naps were taken!
-Lots of wedding plans were discussed, made and finalized!! YAY!!
It was just plain fun to be together! I loved every minute of all of us being under the same roof and missed those who were not or could no longer be here. Life goes on. Having memories is a blessing.
New Year's eve was quiet. Frozen pizza, football and reading. I missed midnight by five minutes. But that is okay, 2015 was a good year. We had a lot of excitement-3 engagements, 3 graduations and lots of fun! We are all healthy and moving forward, which is a good thing.
But I can't help but look back on these past two weeks...I love to have my family home. And I hate to be left at home after they leave. I usually try to leave or get out of the house as they or after they leave. It is a sad feeling walking into the house, quiet, and empty after they have left, one by one. But yes this is life. I'm blessed that they can all be on their own. And that they do come home and bring great people with them to visit. Time seems to drag as you are preparing for something, and fly when everyone is all together. As we all head back to our normal lives I am thankful for the three wonderful children I have and their soon to be spouses. The family and friends I got to see and spend time with over the holiday.
I now know what my mom meant and how she felt after I would leave with all of us in the car, heading down the street. I'd look back down to the house as I'd turn the corner and she'd still be standing there waving, watching. I miss her everyday. And I now know how she felt...
Positive thought....it's a new and exciting year. Make the best of it. The best days of our lives are ahead.
Christmas 2015 is in the books. I will admit it was a bit different, good, but different. I had to adjust to the fact that for the first time in 28 years child #1 was not going to be coming home. It was an adjustment, yes I missed him. But we celebrated back in November and that was great. We got to see everyone via google hangout so it was the next best thing.
Spending Christmas eve eve with one of my best friends was just what I needed. We finished last minute shopping and took our selves out to eat! It was fun and I laughed a lot. This helped not only for the fact that I felt ready for Christmas but the next day Mother Nature blessed us with 9" of fluffy white snow. It was a picture perfect Christmas.
A lot happened over the past two weeks: gift were exchanged-early as a matter of fact because it was snowing, we were all together and could not get any place until the snow stopped, and everything was wrapped and ready and even the dang stockings were filled! It was a strange feeling to open presents in the daylight!
-We had lots of great food-I'm not bragging, just saying. But I will admit I'm kind of cooked out and out of meal ideas.
-We had lots of fun. Games and puzzles were played and put together. Books were read. Movies were watched. Naps were taken!
-Lots of wedding plans were discussed, made and finalized!! YAY!!
It was just plain fun to be together! I loved every minute of all of us being under the same roof and missed those who were not or could no longer be here. Life goes on. Having memories is a blessing.
New Year's eve was quiet. Frozen pizza, football and reading. I missed midnight by five minutes. But that is okay, 2015 was a good year. We had a lot of excitement-3 engagements, 3 graduations and lots of fun! We are all healthy and moving forward, which is a good thing.
But I can't help but look back on these past two weeks...I love to have my family home. And I hate to be left at home after they leave. I usually try to leave or get out of the house as they or after they leave. It is a sad feeling walking into the house, quiet, and empty after they have left, one by one. But yes this is life. I'm blessed that they can all be on their own. And that they do come home and bring great people with them to visit. Time seems to drag as you are preparing for something, and fly when everyone is all together. As we all head back to our normal lives I am thankful for the three wonderful children I have and their soon to be spouses. The family and friends I got to see and spend time with over the holiday.
I now know what my mom meant and how she felt after I would leave with all of us in the car, heading down the street. I'd look back down to the house as I'd turn the corner and she'd still be standing there waving, watching. I miss her everyday. And I now know how she felt...
Positive thought....it's a new and exciting year. Make the best of it. The best days of our lives are ahead.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Send me to my room
If I was a little kid right now I know I would be sent to my room a
lot lately! And I grew up in a house where my parents didn't practice
this kind of discipline. But the most annoying things bug the poo out of
me lately. Santa would not be paying me a visit if I was a kid...and
maybe he won't since I'm an adult!
Please see the following points!
-someone left a "you've been socked" Christmas stocking on my desk this a.m. My first reaction was and still is a bit of annoyance. Really? I have 48-hours to refill this thing and dump it on someone else. Umm...ya' right. I know it is all in good holiday fun and I'm trying really, really hard to get that into my head instead of being annoyed and to stop thinking "are you kidding me?". I guess I know what I'm doing after school today, instead of doing silly things like wrapping gifts, cleaning, cooking and other useless things...
-I made DVD copies of some VCR videos for a friend. She had one video on "modern technology" a video on the thumb drive which I threw on some DVDs and handed to her a month or so ago...now she claims she did not get them. I know I handed them to her and I carefully marked and bundled them and gave them to her to get them out of my hair. They are NOT at my house and I remember handing them to her. BUT now I have to make six more copies of the dumb video...I know it's the right thing to do. I'm trying here but come on, keep track of your stuff.
-I feel like I am the worse parent/mom in the world. I listen to co-workers talk about how much candy and cookies they have made. I've made a little but its all gone-no one got sick so it must have been good/okay. I grew up in a house where my mom had metal coffee cans with plastic lids that were lined with wax paper and each was filled with one of at least 6-8 different kinds of homemade candy. It was so good! My job was to fill the candy tray during the holiday season. I still miss some or most of those candies. But I don't make them-my kids don't know the "candy experience!" Oh well.
-Christmas cards. I don't do these any more and haven't for the past several years. I enjoy getting them from people far away that we only hear from at this time of year. But I feel guilty for the people who we only hear from once a year and I don't return the kindness..I have Christmas card guilt. 😔
-I finished my Christmas shopping last night (I hope) and I felt like I was climbing up hill through mud to get it done. I do like that feeling of being done. It's a load off of my back!
-Fog! I feel like I live in San Francisco rather than Iowa right now. We've have more foggy and gray days than we had had sunshine lately. Where is the snow and cold that we are supposed to have during the winter? We had it earlier but it has all melted. A little snow, even a dusting would be nice! Our weather is wacky.
-Fed-Ex! Why do you not deliver packages yourself but rather drop them off at the post office where they get sent back to Des Moines and your package ends up taking another week or so get arrive. Do your job-please!
-the rude people I had to deal with last night when both Christmas and grocery shopping. Yes I was a woman on a mission and yes I forgot my grocery list but I had my Christmas list in my hot little hand and I remembered all but one thing on my grocery list! I knew what I needed to get/find and that was my mission-get the stuff and get out-alive! There is plenty to go around, you don't have to cut me off, or stand right in front of what myself and three other people were trying to get to (there was plenty of hams for all of us, you don't have to hog-pun intended, the display case) or act like you were in line when you really are budging because you were still looking at stuff, all so you could check out five minutes sooner than me...we all are in this together. I found myself smiling on the outside while the thoughts of "really?" or "are you kidding me?" were running through my head.
Okay, these are not big deals and I know there are a lot worse things in the world right now. And maybe it's the rat race of the holidays or the friends who are done with their shopping, cards and/or baking and those who are done with school today or worse yet last Friday and here we are with another day yet tomorrow. But there is no excuse for my bad attitude. I know! Send me to my room!
I keep telling myself "it's life-stop looking at it as partly cloudy or , count your blessings and remember the reason for the season". Ya' well, I forget-I'm human. So for now while I adjust my attitude and try to get a grip on my life and all around me that affects me I'm going to plead the fact that I'm a bit overwhelmed and feeling like I'm waging this war alone-it's just me that's all. Tomorrow is a new day! Right?!
Positive thought of the day: Christmas is coming!!! After tomorrow it's all downhill-right?!?!
Please see the following points!
-someone left a "you've been socked" Christmas stocking on my desk this a.m. My first reaction was and still is a bit of annoyance. Really? I have 48-hours to refill this thing and dump it on someone else. Umm...ya' right. I know it is all in good holiday fun and I'm trying really, really hard to get that into my head instead of being annoyed and to stop thinking "are you kidding me?". I guess I know what I'm doing after school today, instead of doing silly things like wrapping gifts, cleaning, cooking and other useless things...
-I made DVD copies of some VCR videos for a friend. She had one video on "modern technology" a video on the thumb drive which I threw on some DVDs and handed to her a month or so ago...now she claims she did not get them. I know I handed them to her and I carefully marked and bundled them and gave them to her to get them out of my hair. They are NOT at my house and I remember handing them to her. BUT now I have to make six more copies of the dumb video...I know it's the right thing to do. I'm trying here but come on, keep track of your stuff.
-I feel like I am the worse parent/mom in the world. I listen to co-workers talk about how much candy and cookies they have made. I've made a little but its all gone-no one got sick so it must have been good/okay. I grew up in a house where my mom had metal coffee cans with plastic lids that were lined with wax paper and each was filled with one of at least 6-8 different kinds of homemade candy. It was so good! My job was to fill the candy tray during the holiday season. I still miss some or most of those candies. But I don't make them-my kids don't know the "candy experience!" Oh well.
-Christmas cards. I don't do these any more and haven't for the past several years. I enjoy getting them from people far away that we only hear from at this time of year. But I feel guilty for the people who we only hear from once a year and I don't return the kindness..I have Christmas card guilt. 😔
-I finished my Christmas shopping last night (I hope) and I felt like I was climbing up hill through mud to get it done. I do like that feeling of being done. It's a load off of my back!
-Fog! I feel like I live in San Francisco rather than Iowa right now. We've have more foggy and gray days than we had had sunshine lately. Where is the snow and cold that we are supposed to have during the winter? We had it earlier but it has all melted. A little snow, even a dusting would be nice! Our weather is wacky.
-Fed-Ex! Why do you not deliver packages yourself but rather drop them off at the post office where they get sent back to Des Moines and your package ends up taking another week or so get arrive. Do your job-please!
-the rude people I had to deal with last night when both Christmas and grocery shopping. Yes I was a woman on a mission and yes I forgot my grocery list but I had my Christmas list in my hot little hand and I remembered all but one thing on my grocery list! I knew what I needed to get/find and that was my mission-get the stuff and get out-alive! There is plenty to go around, you don't have to cut me off, or stand right in front of what myself and three other people were trying to get to (there was plenty of hams for all of us, you don't have to hog-pun intended, the display case) or act like you were in line when you really are budging because you were still looking at stuff, all so you could check out five minutes sooner than me...we all are in this together. I found myself smiling on the outside while the thoughts of "really?" or "are you kidding me?" were running through my head.
Okay, these are not big deals and I know there are a lot worse things in the world right now. And maybe it's the rat race of the holidays or the friends who are done with their shopping, cards and/or baking and those who are done with school today or worse yet last Friday and here we are with another day yet tomorrow. But there is no excuse for my bad attitude. I know! Send me to my room!
I keep telling myself "it's life-stop looking at it as partly cloudy or , count your blessings and remember the reason for the season". Ya' well, I forget-I'm human. So for now while I adjust my attitude and try to get a grip on my life and all around me that affects me I'm going to plead the fact that I'm a bit overwhelmed and feeling like I'm waging this war alone-it's just me that's all. Tomorrow is a new day! Right?!
Positive thought of the day: Christmas is coming!!! After tomorrow it's all downhill-right?!?!
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Not all the ornaments are on the tree
I used to decorate the house from top to bottom! I mean TOP to BOTTOM. This would be from candle lights in the attic windows on timers to a favorite sports themed tree in the basement family room. Every room had a tree and/or decorations. My kids had their own little trees that were decorate with homemade and St. Nicholas ornaments they had received in their rooms. I loved how the house looked when it was all decked out!
But now, I can't even find the time, energy or desire to get all the ornaments on our big Christmas tree much less the rest of the house decorated like I used to do. There have been two containers of ornaments sitting by the tree for over three weeks. A few have made their way onto the tree. A bunch are still waiting. And to be honest that is probably where they will spend this holiday season, not unlike past holidays it seems lately.
I used to decorate and light every doorway with greenery and lights. I had a friend make a comment to me once about over decorating...it hurt and kind of killed my desire just a little bit. A few of the doorways have gotten decorated and lit over the past few years, but I just don't think of it any more-I know I should not care what someone else says or thinks, it's not their house. But it is so much work to put up and take down. No one seems to miss it nor do they ask for it. Do I do this just for me?
Like every family several of our tree ornaments and decorations have sentimental meaning and bring back memories of both happy and sad times-those we miss. It's kind of a quick review and reflection on our lives if you think about it. But is is kind of a cool way to look at your life!
And as this week begins to shape up with three days of work followed immediately by Christmas eve and Christmas and then a weekend family Christmas I'm thinking not about the decorations still in the containers and still in the attic but more so about the gifts to still buy or wrap and then the food to plan, shop for and make. And finally when will we get family time? All the work and things I have to get done while still going to work for three days is a challenge. Life is too crazy and busy!
I'm trying to find the true holiday spirit. And I will admit all too often I get wrapped up in the BS of life...the family who I no longer hear from, missing my parents, the negative and mean people who I let get into my head or worse yet, my heart. Walking away is a good thing but often hard to do, more so at holiday time.
And then amid all of the holiday hectics I receive news that a friend, who I once was very close with, has cancer. Stunned disbelief. This hits home. She is near my age and a very Christian and involved person. Even though we are not the friends we once were we still talk and laugh when we do get the opportunity to see each other and have time to chat, even if it is briefly. Why? I can't begin to tell you how many times this question has ran through my mind. I keep thinking God is trying to tell me something...am I missing something? I often feel like I'm oblivious to signs that I am suppose to get or be aware of. I wonder if he is saying "Wake up Lynn", I sent you several signs!
I have no idea what this week will bring life, much less Christmas-wise. And I highly doubt any more decorating will get done, but to be honest I'm missing a lot of the decorating I used to do this year more than in years past. And I don't know why? I've ventured up to the attic and peaked into containers of holiday decorations, heck I even toyed with the thought of bringing down my snowman dished I used to break out every year and use through the month of January. I love those dishes, but now it's all just a lot of work and stuff. I have other more important things to deal with I guess or that's what I'm thinking, I think.
But besides the goal of getting all the stuff I need to done, getting food bought and made and whatever else I need to get done before Thursday I am looking for the spirit of Christmas. The feelings of family, goodwill, peace on earth and love. For Christmas is not just one day or about all the decorations, the music, the food or the gifts. It's about the love-plain and simple. And that love is there every single day of the year, not just on one day. And regardless if those you love are in the same room, across the country or no longer on this earth, that is what it is all about. So Christmas is what you hold in your heart. It's not about who got what or what we did or did not have to eat. It's about love and holding on to that feeling every day of the year as it is a gift and what life is all about-with or without the decorations.
Positive thought of the day: I choose to (try) to stay focused on the love!
But now, I can't even find the time, energy or desire to get all the ornaments on our big Christmas tree much less the rest of the house decorated like I used to do. There have been two containers of ornaments sitting by the tree for over three weeks. A few have made their way onto the tree. A bunch are still waiting. And to be honest that is probably where they will spend this holiday season, not unlike past holidays it seems lately.
I used to decorate and light every doorway with greenery and lights. I had a friend make a comment to me once about over decorating...it hurt and kind of killed my desire just a little bit. A few of the doorways have gotten decorated and lit over the past few years, but I just don't think of it any more-I know I should not care what someone else says or thinks, it's not their house. But it is so much work to put up and take down. No one seems to miss it nor do they ask for it. Do I do this just for me?
Like every family several of our tree ornaments and decorations have sentimental meaning and bring back memories of both happy and sad times-those we miss. It's kind of a quick review and reflection on our lives if you think about it. But is is kind of a cool way to look at your life!
And as this week begins to shape up with three days of work followed immediately by Christmas eve and Christmas and then a weekend family Christmas I'm thinking not about the decorations still in the containers and still in the attic but more so about the gifts to still buy or wrap and then the food to plan, shop for and make. And finally when will we get family time? All the work and things I have to get done while still going to work for three days is a challenge. Life is too crazy and busy!
I'm trying to find the true holiday spirit. And I will admit all too often I get wrapped up in the BS of life...the family who I no longer hear from, missing my parents, the negative and mean people who I let get into my head or worse yet, my heart. Walking away is a good thing but often hard to do, more so at holiday time.
And then amid all of the holiday hectics I receive news that a friend, who I once was very close with, has cancer. Stunned disbelief. This hits home. She is near my age and a very Christian and involved person. Even though we are not the friends we once were we still talk and laugh when we do get the opportunity to see each other and have time to chat, even if it is briefly. Why? I can't begin to tell you how many times this question has ran through my mind. I keep thinking God is trying to tell me something...am I missing something? I often feel like I'm oblivious to signs that I am suppose to get or be aware of. I wonder if he is saying "Wake up Lynn", I sent you several signs!
I have no idea what this week will bring life, much less Christmas-wise. And I highly doubt any more decorating will get done, but to be honest I'm missing a lot of the decorating I used to do this year more than in years past. And I don't know why? I've ventured up to the attic and peaked into containers of holiday decorations, heck I even toyed with the thought of bringing down my snowman dished I used to break out every year and use through the month of January. I love those dishes, but now it's all just a lot of work and stuff. I have other more important things to deal with I guess or that's what I'm thinking, I think.
But besides the goal of getting all the stuff I need to done, getting food bought and made and whatever else I need to get done before Thursday I am looking for the spirit of Christmas. The feelings of family, goodwill, peace on earth and love. For Christmas is not just one day or about all the decorations, the music, the food or the gifts. It's about the love-plain and simple. And that love is there every single day of the year, not just on one day. And regardless if those you love are in the same room, across the country or no longer on this earth, that is what it is all about. So Christmas is what you hold in your heart. It's not about who got what or what we did or did not have to eat. It's about love and holding on to that feeling every day of the year as it is a gift and what life is all about-with or without the decorations.
Positive thought of the day: I choose to (try) to stay focused on the love!
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
When all else fails, drop back and punt!
It's the week of state dance team competition for me and my team. Yes we've practiced hard. We've put in a lot of hours of dancing and sweat. I've planned, made lists, sent emails, made phone calls, and several dozen other things but even with the best laid plans there will be the unexpected that I will have to deal with. The last minute surprises used to drive me nuts. But not so much any more. I've got my ducks in a row. If it goes wrong well those things happen. Bar poor behavior or blood shed by any of my kids, I feel like I'm ready or can handle whatever happens between now and 1 p.m. on Thursday when we are done performing and can just sit back and enjoy.
Ideally the best thing in the world is bringing home a trophy-we've done that a few times! The hardware is always nice and shows how hard the kids have worked. This year's squad is without males. A first in a number of years. Graduation and poor team decision making by a couple of members last year brought the returning number to one. If you are going to let your teammates down, I don't want you and you won't get the chance again on my team. So that is the reason why there is no male dance team or coed... Life goes on. But doing their best and enjoying the time is the best part of all of this. A 1 rating is nice but even the best laid plans can go wrong and mistakes made-all the practice in the world is not going to prevent that. We are only as strong as our weakest dancer-if I had a dime for every time I've said that...you know the rest of that saying!
I'm not like a local dance team I recently heard about, who is waiting on costumes to arrive yet, still choreographing their dance and a few other things that should have been done by now. You learn as you go as this is very ruled and regulated event. We are a small school with a small budget and very, very limited practice time and space. Early mornings, after early outs and Sunday's find us in the gym...it is what it is. I'm used to it. I've fought tooth and nail for my kids over the years-to earn respect and space and to have every bit as much right to have the gym to practice in as the next sport. We bring money into the school district-and we take nothing out except for my poor salary. I don't do this for the money or the fame. I do it because I love dance and I love the kids (most). Yes I've had some "experiences" over the years. You learn, you deal, you get through it and you keep moving ahead. The problems I've dealt with have not been fun. And to be honest having a girl pregnant in year two as head of the program was not fun. But the problems I've had to deal with recently are worse than I've even imagined. My girls know they mean the world to me. I will be tough on them and I will call them on the carpet if need be. Some have a special place in my heart and I still hear from some yet today. Some you make connections with, some you don't. But I am fiercely proud and protective of my kids, unless they screw up then I'm going to discipline and I hope they learn from their mistakes. Some do, some don't.
Over the years I've dealt with ice storms, keys locked in vans, parent's not allowing their kids to get in a school vehicle because the weather was iffy, forgotten items and a host of other fun things. I've had poor behavior and had to be a hard ass. I've been so proud I could cry at times and other times disappointed to tears. You see it is not about the trophies any more, I learn that a long time ago. But it is about the life long lessons these kids learn from dance and dance practice and state competition. It's learning how to get along, be a part and do what you need to do so you don't let your team down. You see if you miss a tackle in football or a basket in basketball there are other opportunities. In dance it is one shot. Do or die. If you screw up, you screw up. There is no more time left on the clock and not another down or play or quarter to get another chance or opportunity. This is it. And in reality all the coaching I can and will try to do between now and Thursday when the girls take the floor may or may not help but truthfully my work is done...they are on their own. I can't get out there and dance for them or count it out loud or have them start over. This. Is. It. And for some of my girls this is their last time. For three seniors this is their fourth and final time. I always want the best outcome for the seniors.
I try not to let the kids know I'm nervous. I'm not getting out there to dance -it is them. They can know the dance like the back of their hand. But yes I do get nervous and I second guess myself. Should I have made it harder, change some choreography, what if the dvd does not work or play, are just some of the things that run through my mind and I worry about. And in the end it all works out-good/bad/or otherwise. We have fun-for the most part and we make lots of memories! I like to think the girls have fun and make some lifelong memories. That's what its all about in the end.
So whatever happens on the floor on Thursday, I hope this group of girls come back with great memories, know they personally did the best they can and learn something from the whole experience.
Positive thought of the day: Have fun and make memories...time flies!
Ideally the best thing in the world is bringing home a trophy-we've done that a few times! The hardware is always nice and shows how hard the kids have worked. This year's squad is without males. A first in a number of years. Graduation and poor team decision making by a couple of members last year brought the returning number to one. If you are going to let your teammates down, I don't want you and you won't get the chance again on my team. So that is the reason why there is no male dance team or coed... Life goes on. But doing their best and enjoying the time is the best part of all of this. A 1 rating is nice but even the best laid plans can go wrong and mistakes made-all the practice in the world is not going to prevent that. We are only as strong as our weakest dancer-if I had a dime for every time I've said that...you know the rest of that saying!
I'm not like a local dance team I recently heard about, who is waiting on costumes to arrive yet, still choreographing their dance and a few other things that should have been done by now. You learn as you go as this is very ruled and regulated event. We are a small school with a small budget and very, very limited practice time and space. Early mornings, after early outs and Sunday's find us in the gym...it is what it is. I'm used to it. I've fought tooth and nail for my kids over the years-to earn respect and space and to have every bit as much right to have the gym to practice in as the next sport. We bring money into the school district-and we take nothing out except for my poor salary. I don't do this for the money or the fame. I do it because I love dance and I love the kids (most). Yes I've had some "experiences" over the years. You learn, you deal, you get through it and you keep moving ahead. The problems I've dealt with have not been fun. And to be honest having a girl pregnant in year two as head of the program was not fun. But the problems I've had to deal with recently are worse than I've even imagined. My girls know they mean the world to me. I will be tough on them and I will call them on the carpet if need be. Some have a special place in my heart and I still hear from some yet today. Some you make connections with, some you don't. But I am fiercely proud and protective of my kids, unless they screw up then I'm going to discipline and I hope they learn from their mistakes. Some do, some don't.
Over the years I've dealt with ice storms, keys locked in vans, parent's not allowing their kids to get in a school vehicle because the weather was iffy, forgotten items and a host of other fun things. I've had poor behavior and had to be a hard ass. I've been so proud I could cry at times and other times disappointed to tears. You see it is not about the trophies any more, I learn that a long time ago. But it is about the life long lessons these kids learn from dance and dance practice and state competition. It's learning how to get along, be a part and do what you need to do so you don't let your team down. You see if you miss a tackle in football or a basket in basketball there are other opportunities. In dance it is one shot. Do or die. If you screw up, you screw up. There is no more time left on the clock and not another down or play or quarter to get another chance or opportunity. This is it. And in reality all the coaching I can and will try to do between now and Thursday when the girls take the floor may or may not help but truthfully my work is done...they are on their own. I can't get out there and dance for them or count it out loud or have them start over. This. Is. It. And for some of my girls this is their last time. For three seniors this is their fourth and final time. I always want the best outcome for the seniors.
I try not to let the kids know I'm nervous. I'm not getting out there to dance -it is them. They can know the dance like the back of their hand. But yes I do get nervous and I second guess myself. Should I have made it harder, change some choreography, what if the dvd does not work or play, are just some of the things that run through my mind and I worry about. And in the end it all works out-good/bad/or otherwise. We have fun-for the most part and we make lots of memories! I like to think the girls have fun and make some lifelong memories. That's what its all about in the end.
So whatever happens on the floor on Thursday, I hope this group of girls come back with great memories, know they personally did the best they can and learn something from the whole experience.
Positive thought of the day: Have fun and make memories...time flies!
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Time flies!
Since Wednesday night the past 3-1/2 days have flown by. Having everyone home is absolutely wonderful! I now know how my mom and dad felt about having us come home when the kids were little. They loved having us come home. Being the youngest my parents were retired and had time to get ready and prepare before we would go home. I have to sneak in the time to get things done and ready but all those late nights and early mornings are so worth it.
From setting a third wedding date to going out to eat Wednesday night to the games, the food, the fun, the football, the farm visit, the Christmas decorating and mini-Christmas Friday and Saturday, it truly was a great weekend.
Everyone has left and I am left with some leftovers, pictures of the weekend and tons of great memories! It was everything I'd hoped for and more! Thank you to my family for everything!
So as everyone heads back to their lives and we finish up the leftovers and I pick up, put away, wash and put back life I have great memories of my family and I am reminded how truely blessed I am. We are not a perfect family. But we have fun. We are not a high maintenance family. We just enjoy the simple things and make great memories along the way. Oh, and we eat some pretty good food!
This is our last Thanksgiving before changes come to our family in the next year. Next year at this time two of the three kids will have spouses and our third wedding will be right around the coroner. We've had an exciting year and we have so very much to be thankful for. And next year promises to be even better and bring us all together several times to celebrate! I can't wait!
Tomorrow Monday will roll around and will life resume, and I have new memories of this past weekend and I am reminded again how blessed I am.
Positive thought of the day: Mother Nature cooperated and decided to wait until everyone got home before she coated everything with ice and is holding off until tomorrow before she brings us more winter weather-thank you!!
From setting a third wedding date to going out to eat Wednesday night to the games, the food, the fun, the football, the farm visit, the Christmas decorating and mini-Christmas Friday and Saturday, it truly was a great weekend.
Everyone has left and I am left with some leftovers, pictures of the weekend and tons of great memories! It was everything I'd hoped for and more! Thank you to my family for everything!
So as everyone heads back to their lives and we finish up the leftovers and I pick up, put away, wash and put back life I have great memories of my family and I am reminded how truely blessed I am. We are not a perfect family. But we have fun. We are not a high maintenance family. We just enjoy the simple things and make great memories along the way. Oh, and we eat some pretty good food!
This is our last Thanksgiving before changes come to our family in the next year. Next year at this time two of the three kids will have spouses and our third wedding will be right around the coroner. We've had an exciting year and we have so very much to be thankful for. And next year promises to be even better and bring us all together several times to celebrate! I can't wait!
Tomorrow Monday will roll around and will life resume, and I have new memories of this past weekend and I am reminded again how blessed I am.
Positive thought of the day: Mother Nature cooperated and decided to wait until everyone got home before she coated everything with ice and is holding off until tomorrow before she brings us more winter weather-thank you!!
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