Not all the ornaments are on the tree

I used to decorate the house from top to bottom! I mean TOP to BOTTOM. This would be from candle lights in the attic windows on timers to a favorite sports themed tree in the basement family room. Every room had a tree and/or decorations. My kids had their own little trees that were decorate with homemade and St. Nicholas ornaments they had received in their rooms. I loved how the house looked when it was all decked out!

But now, I can't even find the time, energy or desire to get all the ornaments on our big Christmas tree much less the rest of the house decorated like I used to do. There have been two containers of ornaments sitting by the tree for over three weeks. A few have made their way onto the tree. A bunch are still waiting. And to be honest that is probably where they will spend this holiday season, not unlike past holidays it seems lately.

I used to decorate and light every doorway with greenery and lights.  I had a friend make a comment to me once about over decorating...it hurt and kind of killed my desire just a little bit. A few of the doorways have gotten decorated and lit over the past few years, but I just don't think of it any more-I know I should not care what someone else says or thinks, it's not their house. But it is so much work to put up and take down. No one seems to miss it nor do they ask for it. Do I do this just for me?

Like every family several of our tree ornaments and decorations have sentimental meaning and bring back memories of both happy and sad times-those we miss. It's kind of a quick review and reflection on our lives if you think about it. But is is kind of a cool way to look at your life!

And as this week begins to shape up with three days of work followed immediately by Christmas eve and Christmas and then a weekend family Christmas I'm thinking not about the decorations still in the containers and still in the attic but more so about the gifts to still buy or wrap and then the food to plan, shop for and make. And finally when will we get family time?  All the work and things I have to get done while still going to work for three days is a challenge. Life is too crazy and busy!

I'm trying to find the true holiday spirit. And I will admit all too often I get wrapped up in the BS of life...the family who I no longer hear from, missing my parents, the negative and mean people who I let get into my head or worse yet, my heart. Walking away is a good thing but often hard to do, more so at holiday time.

And then amid all of the holiday hectics I receive news that a friend, who I once was very close with, has cancer. Stunned disbelief. This hits home. She is near my age and a very Christian and involved person. Even though we are not the friends we once were we still talk and laugh when we do get the opportunity to see each other and have time to chat, even if it is briefly. Why? I can't begin to tell you how many times this question has ran through my mind. I keep thinking God is trying to tell me something...am I missing something? I often feel like I'm oblivious to signs that I am suppose to get or be aware of. I wonder if he is saying "Wake up Lynn", I sent you several signs!

I have no idea what this week will bring life, much less Christmas-wise. And I highly doubt any more decorating will get done, but to be honest I'm missing a lot of the decorating I used to do this year more than in years past. And I don't know why? I've ventured up to the attic and peaked into containers of holiday decorations, heck I even toyed with the thought of bringing down my snowman dished I used to break out every year and use through the month of January. I love those dishes, but now it's all just a lot of work and stuff. I have other more important things to deal with I guess or that's what I'm thinking, I think.

But besides the goal of getting all the stuff I need to done, getting food bought and made and whatever else I need to get done before Thursday I am looking for the spirit of Christmas. The feelings of family, goodwill, peace on earth and love. For Christmas is not just one day or about all the decorations, the music, the food or the gifts. It's about the love-plain and simple. And that love is there every single day of the year, not just on one day. And regardless if those you love are in the same room, across the country or no longer on this earth, that is what it is all about. So Christmas is what you hold in your heart. It's not about who got what or what we did or did not have to eat. It's about love and holding on to that feeling every day of the year as it is a gift and what life is all about-with or without the decorations.

Positive thought of the day: I choose to (try) to stay focused on the love!