Send me to my room

If I was a little kid right now I know I would be sent to my room a lot lately! And I grew up in a house where my parents didn't practice this kind of discipline. But the most annoying things bug the poo out of me lately. Santa would not be paying me a visit if I was a kid...and maybe he won't since I'm an adult!

Please see the following points!

-someone left a "you've been socked" Christmas stocking on my desk this a.m. My first reaction was and still is a bit of annoyance. Really? I have 48-hours to refill this thing and dump it on someone else. Umm...ya' right. I know it is all in good holiday fun and I'm trying really, really hard to get that into my head instead of being annoyed and to stop thinking "are you kidding me?". I guess I know what I'm doing after school today, instead of doing silly things like wrapping gifts, cleaning, cooking and other useless things...
-I made DVD copies of some VCR videos for a friend. She had one video on "modern technology" a video on the thumb drive which I threw on some DVDs and handed to her a month or so ago...now she claims she did not get them. I know I handed them to her and I carefully marked and bundled them and gave them to her to get them out of my hair. They are NOT at my house and I remember handing them to her. BUT now I have to make six more copies of the dumb video...I know it's the right thing to do. I'm trying here but come on, keep track of your stuff.
-I feel like I am the worse parent/mom in the world. I listen to co-workers talk about how much candy and cookies they have made. I've made a little but its all gone-no one got sick so it must have been good/okay. I grew up in a house where my mom had metal coffee cans with plastic lids that were lined with wax paper and each was filled with one of at least 6-8 different kinds of homemade candy. It was so good! My job was to fill the candy tray during the holiday season. I still miss some or most of those candies. But I don't make them-my kids don't know the "candy experience!" Oh well.
-Christmas cards. I don't do these any more and haven't for the past several years. I enjoy getting them from people far away that we only hear from at this time of year. But I feel guilty for the people who we only hear from once a year and I don't return the kindness..I have Christmas card guilt. 😔
-I finished my Christmas shopping last night (I hope) and I felt like I was climbing up hill through mud to get it done. I do like that feeling of being done. It's a load off of my back!
-Fog! I feel like I live in San Francisco rather than Iowa right now. We've have more foggy and gray days than we had had sunshine lately. Where is the snow and cold that we are supposed to have during the winter? We had it earlier but it has all melted. A little snow, even a dusting would be nice! Our weather is wacky.
-Fed-Ex! Why do you not deliver packages yourself but rather drop them off at the post office where they get sent back to Des Moines and your package ends up taking another week or so get arrive. Do your job-please!
-the rude people I had to deal with last night when both Christmas and grocery shopping. Yes I was a woman on a mission and yes I forgot my grocery list but I had my Christmas list in my hot little hand and I remembered all but one thing on my grocery list! I knew what I needed to get/find and that was my mission-get the stuff and get out-alive! There is plenty to go around, you don't have to cut me off, or stand right in front of what myself and three other people were trying to get to (there was plenty of hams for all of us, you don't have to hog-pun intended, the display case) or act like you were in line when you really are budging because you were still looking at stuff, all so you could check out five minutes sooner than me...we all are in this together. I found myself smiling on the outside while the thoughts of "really?"  or "are you kidding me?" were running through my head.

Okay, these are not big deals and I know there are a lot worse things in the world right now. And maybe it's the rat race of the holidays or the friends who are done with their shopping, cards and/or baking and those who are done with school today or worse yet last Friday and here we are with another day yet tomorrow. But there is no excuse for my bad attitude. I know! Send me to my room!

I keep telling myself "it's life-stop looking at it as partly cloudy or , count your blessings and remember the reason for the season". Ya' well, I forget-I'm human. So for now while I adjust my attitude and try to get a grip on my life and all around me that affects me I'm going to plead the fact that I'm a bit overwhelmed and feeling like I'm waging this war alone-it's just me that's all. Tomorrow is a new day! Right?!

Positive thought of the day: Christmas is coming!!! After tomorrow it's all downhill-right?!?!

Not all the ornaments are on the tree

I used to decorate the house from top to bottom! I mean TOP to BOTTOM. This would be from candle lights in the attic windows on timers to a favorite sports themed tree in the basement family room. Every room had a tree and/or decorations. My kids had their own little trees that were decorate with homemade and St. Nicholas ornaments they had received in their rooms. I loved how the house looked when it was all decked out!

But now, I can't even find the time, energy or desire to get all the ornaments on our big Christmas tree much less the rest of the house decorated like I used to do. There have been two containers of ornaments sitting by the tree for over three weeks. A few have made their way onto the tree. A bunch are still waiting. And to be honest that is probably where they will spend this holiday season, not unlike past holidays it seems lately.

I used to decorate and light every doorway with greenery and lights.  I had a friend make a comment to me once about over decorating...it hurt and kind of killed my desire just a little bit. A few of the doorways have gotten decorated and lit over the past few years, but I just don't think of it any more-I know I should not care what someone else says or thinks, it's not their house. But it is so much work to put up and take down. No one seems to miss it nor do they ask for it. Do I do this just for me?

Like every family several of our tree ornaments and decorations have sentimental meaning and bring back memories of both happy and sad times-those we miss. It's kind of a quick review and reflection on our lives if you think about it. But is is kind of a cool way to look at your life!

And as this week begins to shape up with three days of work followed immediately by Christmas eve and Christmas and then a weekend family Christmas I'm thinking not about the decorations still in the containers and still in the attic but more so about the gifts to still buy or wrap and then the food to plan, shop for and make. And finally when will we get family time?  All the work and things I have to get done while still going to work for three days is a challenge. Life is too crazy and busy!

I'm trying to find the true holiday spirit. And I will admit all too often I get wrapped up in the BS of life...the family who I no longer hear from, missing my parents, the negative and mean people who I let get into my head or worse yet, my heart. Walking away is a good thing but often hard to do, more so at holiday time.

And then amid all of the holiday hectics I receive news that a friend, who I once was very close with, has cancer. Stunned disbelief. This hits home. She is near my age and a very Christian and involved person. Even though we are not the friends we once were we still talk and laugh when we do get the opportunity to see each other and have time to chat, even if it is briefly. Why? I can't begin to tell you how many times this question has ran through my mind. I keep thinking God is trying to tell me something...am I missing something? I often feel like I'm oblivious to signs that I am suppose to get or be aware of. I wonder if he is saying "Wake up Lynn", I sent you several signs!

I have no idea what this week will bring life, much less Christmas-wise. And I highly doubt any more decorating will get done, but to be honest I'm missing a lot of the decorating I used to do this year more than in years past. And I don't know why? I've ventured up to the attic and peaked into containers of holiday decorations, heck I even toyed with the thought of bringing down my snowman dished I used to break out every year and use through the month of January. I love those dishes, but now it's all just a lot of work and stuff. I have other more important things to deal with I guess or that's what I'm thinking, I think.

But besides the goal of getting all the stuff I need to done, getting food bought and made and whatever else I need to get done before Thursday I am looking for the spirit of Christmas. The feelings of family, goodwill, peace on earth and love. For Christmas is not just one day or about all the decorations, the music, the food or the gifts. It's about the love-plain and simple. And that love is there every single day of the year, not just on one day. And regardless if those you love are in the same room, across the country or no longer on this earth, that is what it is all about. So Christmas is what you hold in your heart. It's not about who got what or what we did or did not have to eat. It's about love and holding on to that feeling every day of the year as it is a gift and what life is all about-with or without the decorations.

Positive thought of the day: I choose to (try) to stay focused on the love!

When all else fails, drop back and punt!

It's the week of state dance team competition for me and my team. Yes we've practiced hard. We've put in a lot of hours of dancing and sweat. I've planned, made lists, sent emails, made phone calls, and several dozen other things but even with the best laid plans there will be the unexpected that I will have to deal with. The last minute surprises used to drive me nuts. But not so much any more. I've got my ducks in a row. If it goes wrong well those things happen. Bar poor behavior or blood shed by any of my kids, I feel like I'm ready or can handle whatever happens between now and 1 p.m. on Thursday when we are done performing and can just sit back and enjoy.

Ideally the best thing in the world is bringing home a trophy-we've done that a few times! The hardware is always nice and shows how hard the kids have worked. This year's squad is without males. A first in a number of years. Graduation and poor team decision making by a couple of members last year brought the returning number to one. If you are going to let your teammates down, I don't want you and you won't get the chance again on my team. So that is the reason why there is no male dance team or coed... Life goes on. But doing their best and enjoying the time is the best part of all of this. A 1 rating is nice but even the best laid plans can go wrong and mistakes made-all the practice in the world is not going to prevent that. We are only as strong as our weakest dancer-if I had a dime for every time I've said that...you know the rest of that saying!

I'm not like a local dance team I recently heard about, who is waiting on costumes to arrive yet, still choreographing their dance and a few other things that should have been done by now. You learn as you go as this is very ruled and regulated event. We are a small school with a small budget and very, very limited practice time and space. Early mornings, after early outs and Sunday's find us in the gym...it is what it is. I'm used to it. I've fought tooth and nail for my kids over the years-to earn respect and space and to have every bit as much right to have the gym to practice in as the next sport. We bring money into the school district-and we take nothing out except for my poor salary. I don't do this for the money or the fame. I do it because I love dance and I love the kids (most). Yes I've had some "experiences" over the years. You learn, you deal, you get through it and you keep moving ahead. The problems I've dealt with have not been fun. And to be honest having a girl pregnant in year two as head of the  program was not fun. But the problems I've had to deal with recently are worse than I've even imagined. My girls know they mean the world to me. I will be tough on them and I will call them on the carpet if need be. Some have a special place in my heart and I still hear from some yet today. Some you make connections with, some you don't. But I am fiercely proud and protective of my kids, unless they screw up then I'm going to discipline and I hope they learn from their mistakes. Some do, some don't.

Over the years I've dealt with ice storms, keys locked in vans, parent's not allowing their kids to get in a school vehicle because the weather was iffy, forgotten items and a host of other fun things. I've had poor behavior and had to be a hard ass. I've been so proud I could cry at times and other times disappointed to tears. You see it is not about the trophies any more, I learn that a long time ago. But it is about the life long lessons these kids learn from dance and dance practice and state competition. It's learning how to get along, be a part and do what you need to do so you don't let your team down. You see if you miss a tackle in football or a basket in basketball there are other opportunities. In dance it is one shot. Do or die. If you screw up, you screw up. There is no more time left on the clock and not another down or play or quarter to get another chance or opportunity. This is it. And in reality all the coaching I can and will try to do between now and Thursday when the girls take the floor may or may not help but truthfully my work is done...they are on their own. I can't get out there and dance for them or count it out loud or have them start over. This. Is. It.  And for some of my girls this is their last time. For three seniors this is their fourth and final time. I always want the best outcome for the seniors.

I try not to let the kids know I'm nervous. I'm not getting out there to dance -it is them. They can know the dance like the back of their hand. But yes I do get nervous and I second guess myself. Should I have made it harder, change some choreography, what if the dvd does not work or play, are just some of the things that run through my mind and I worry about. And in the end it all works out-good/bad/or otherwise. We have fun-for the most part and we make lots of memories! I like to think the girls have fun and make some lifelong memories. That's what its all about in the end.

So whatever happens on the floor on Thursday, I hope this group of girls come back with great memories, know they personally did the best they can and learn something from the whole experience. 

Positive thought of the day: Have fun and make memories...time flies!

Time flies!

Since Wednesday night the past 3-1/2 days have flown by. Having everyone home is absolutely wonderful! I now know how my mom and dad felt about having us come home when the kids were little. They loved having us come home. Being the youngest my parents were retired and had time to get ready and prepare before we would go home. I have to sneak in the time to get things done and ready but all those late nights and early mornings are so worth it.

From setting a third wedding date to going out to eat Wednesday night to the games, the food, the fun, the football, the farm visit, the Christmas decorating and mini-Christmas Friday and Saturday, it truly was a great weekend.

Everyone has left and I am left with some leftovers, pictures of the weekend and tons of great memories! It was everything I'd hoped for and more! Thank you to my family for everything!

So as everyone heads back to their lives and we finish up the leftovers and I pick up, put away, wash and put back life I have great memories of my family and I am reminded how truely blessed I am. We are not a perfect family. But we have fun. We are not a high maintenance family. We just enjoy the simple things and make great memories along the way. Oh, and we eat some pretty good food! 

This is our last Thanksgiving before changes come to our family in the next year. Next year at this time two of the three kids will have spouses and our third wedding will be right around the coroner. We've had an exciting  year and we have so very much to be thankful for. And next year promises to be even better and bring us all together several times to celebrate! I can't wait!


Tomorrow Monday will roll around and will life resume, and I have new memories of this past weekend and I am reminded again how blessed I am.

Positive thought of the day: Mother Nature cooperated and decided to wait until everyone got home before she coated everything with ice and is holding off until tomorrow before she brings us more winter weather-thank you!!

The most wonderful time of the year!

The holidays, regardless of which holiday it is, takes on a whole different meaning when you become an adult. And I'm going to come right out and say this but more so if you are female than male-because if you are male then it makes no difference from being a kid to an adult! (Just my perspective here!) You see as an adult, and female, you are left with most, if not all, of the work it takes to pull off any holiday-in most cases.

I used to love Easter and the 4th of July. More so the 4th of July because it is basically eating grilled food, no set menu for that holiday and you can eat outside-no formal decorations. You don't have to clean the house within an inch of it's life. No rules to follow. You can go watch a parade or fireworks. Everyone seems to have a variety of holiday traditions when it comes to the 4th of July-anything goes.

Rules and guidelines are a little tighter when it comes to Easter and Thanksgiving. Easter=ham. Thanksgiving=turkey. Yes people play with the rules here but there are more "traditions when it comes to these two holidays as opposed to 4th of July or any of the other "less important" holidays. And Christmas...well we all know that gig. Christmas tradition in some families go a long way back. For some it is a recipe passed down from generation to generation. Then there is the gift giving thing...another traditional rule that we are told or led to believe that we must follow-we've got the whole Santa Clause thing going here.

But honestly right now, this week is my favorite time of year...the week of Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving it's self. I love the prep, to a point. (having very little help makes it stressful, but in the end it is all good as long as I'm not too tired to enjoy it). Then there is the tradition of gathering together for a meal. A traditional meal, but it is still good!  And the best part-is everyone who can be there. All the people gathered around the table is wonderful.

The Thanksgiving days of years past is long gone...family members who are no longer with us are missed. My parents used to come over a day or two early to attend grandparent's day at school with my kids when they were in elementary school and then they would be there to help celebrate, and to entertain the kids or set the table or make a dish-I loved every minute of that. I vividly remember having 20 or more people around my table to take part in a Thanksgiving meal...the best of times. Lots of great conversations happened there!

Now the number of people who gather around my table is smaller in number. But regardless of who can or cannot be there it is always wonderful to have all who can be there there! And it is okay to miss those who can not be there. It is part of life. I love the noise and banter that will come with the arrival of everyone starting tonight and reach capacity Wednesday night when all the kids and their significant others will be home. And I can't wait. This is what I've been planning for, thinking about and looking forward to for weeks. It will be a crazy busy time and there will be lots of food made and eaten. There will be fun to be had. But best of all- the memories. The wonderful memories of Thanksgiving 2015 will be tucked in my heart a week from now! No longer is my family that little group of 5 who could not get home back to my hometown back in the early 1990s because of a day-before-Thanksgiving snowstorm that left me at the grocery store buying a last minute turkey and all the fixings the night before Thanksgiving. And on that Thanksgiving day 20-plus years ago the five of us enjoyed our own turkey dinner and what would start to become a tradition-Thanksgiving at our house. Since then for Thanksgiving and any other holiday that included food, family and friends we've opened our home to others. No one should be alone on a holiday. I always like to think that if one of my kids where alone and unable to get home for a holiday someone would open their home and welcome them in for a meal and some "family" time.

So as I start the 47 layer jello salad (it's not really 47 layers but it feels like it, thanks to my mother in-laws recipe!) and make the little smokies wrapped in biscuits (a favorite of my father in-law) and life is discussed-I have a feeling that college graduations, jobs, sports and four up coming weddings will be a constant thread of the conversations, it will be wonderful and I can't wait. The new memories will be great! Because to be honest everyday should be a day of thanksgiving...except we'd all be sick and tired of turkey and weight about 300 lbs!

Oh and while we try to sandwich in a Christmas celebration in this weekend too, and eat more (good, I hope) food and make more fun memories I hope I remember to take pictures, lots of pictures with my camera and not just in my mind!

Positive thought of the day: Thankful for all I am blessed with. And the fact that Mother Nature decided to deliver our first snow of the season LAST Friday and not this week. I'm thankful for the seasons and for the little things in life! I hope you are too!

Until you've walked a mile

I think the saying goes something like "Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes". This is sound advice and often times if you try to understand this concept it is with good intentions but not yet not fully knowing what it is like.  But actually doing this is a while different ballgame-pun intended.

I recently had to "fill in" for my husband as Activites/Athletic Director. I happily did so, but I was a tad bit nervous about something going wrong. Any and everyone was gone for a girls basketball jamboree. This included normal basketball workers/volunteers/helpers and administration-I had the "B" team coming in-this included me! So if the building burnt down or the basketballs were not aired up correctly-it was all on me!

Now I know there is a lot of work long before an actual event that goes into setting up and planning. I've hosted holidays, I'm a mom and a coach. There is lots of work before hand getting ready. But getting things set up, and dealing with last minute things is always a challenge. Lots of footsteps and making decisions when needed are part of the game. And last night was no exception. A check list was helpful. Keeping track of who needed to be where or what was supposed to happen when, was a constant for me. 

There were a few moments of panic...one involving ticket taking money-then I remembered, I have "the keys," meaning a master key to the whole place-problem solved!! There was an unfortunate incident of a dropped video camera by someone else, I fixed that by getting another camera. But I am not sure the dropped camera can be fixed-I'm gonna try. And a final thing on my part-I was in charge of playing the National Anthem over the sound system from off my phone...I've done it before. But guess who must have accidently deleted it off of her phone-ME!!! I frantically ran up to my office grabbed my laptop praying all the way down to the gym that I still had the song on my laptop. Yes I did-whew!

Officials got paid and fed. Coaches and workers got their free meal tickets. Players played. Basketballs had air in them and the fire alarm did not go off so the building did NOT burn down. Clean up was fairly quick other than I forgot something in my office three times and that requires three doors and locks to get through! Oh and I think I forgot to mention that in addition to doing the AD job I was also photographer for the newspaper covering four of the six teams playing. So I had to take pictures at all three half-games. It was a busy evening and I finally got something to eat and drink around 9 p.m. But all was good in the end. My intent was to never judge the duties of an AD-I KNOW the time and work it takes. But if anyone ever wants to judge someone's work duties/job then they need to DO that person's job, literally. I had no surprises in the "AD" duties. It was more the apprehension of "what if" something went wrong. But all is good in the kingdom. People got their first taste of basketball and I lived to tell, or in this case write about my adventures! All I can say is try doing someone else's job, just once! It is a learning and I'd bet an humbling experience.

Positive thought of the day: Our first blast of winter is on it's way.  So I guess regardless if I'm ready or not for snow and cold, it is coming. Just a reminder that we are not in charge but merely along for the ride. Be safe and enjoy!

Things that go bump in the night!

I will be the first to admit and leave when it comes to scary things. This world is bad enough in reality without making things even more scary!! So when it comes to scary movies or television shows I will walk out without a second thought or in the blink of an eye. Anyone who knows me very well knows this about me. I happily admit this!!

So as our high school drama department is putting on the fall "show" Waling Dead" I have absolutely no desire to see it, nor babysit kids who are watching it, or waste my time going to it (I know, that's kind of harsh but it's how I feel!). So when my principal came to me asking if I was going to the production before he could finish his question I was shaking my head "NO!". Then he asked if I would stay with any students who's parents were not letting them attend and I replied "absolutely!". Me and the rest of my chicken friends will hang out in the library, happily! We are safe from the zombies and the sun is shining and things are happy and cheery!!

I blame my "fear" of the unknown and scary things on my older siblings. Apparently is is a tried and true rule that you scare your youngest siblings-thanks a lot you guys. And yet I don't see myself as a chicken! I was willing to go out looking for a missing 10-year old in the early morning hours a couple of weeks ago which involved walking through back yards, looking in drainage pipes to find that child in the dark. No second thoughts about something coming out or after me, I was in mom mode and I would have kick the a$$ (to the best of my abilities) of anything that came out at me or after me-if this had happened. Or I would have taken off running like a girl, which I am!

I guess it all boils down to I don't like to be scared. And there are a lot of bad things going on in the world right now. And I know this stuff is not real but I sure don't want to spend my relaxed leisure time dealing with this garbage.

So I will hang out and miss the "production" and listen to people's take and opinion of it afterwards. I hope it is a success, but I'm not gonna see it. Not my thing. IF one of my kids would be in it, I would be brave, but they are not and I'm good with staying in the dark...so to speak!!

Positive thought of the day: I'd rather believe in angels than zombies. After all I've got two special angels in heaven looking after me every day!