Will it matter in a day....

I recently started doing a small experiment when dealing with people. I know we all need to complain, vent and just get things off of our chest. I do it. And everyone I know has their purge and dump moments when they just spew what is bothering, bugging and putting a bump on their road of life. It ranges from flies biting their ankles to how someone is treating them.

I try to be a good listener. And I have always tried to be a listener not a source for a solution since I'm not an expert. If someone asks for help or suggestions I will cautiously share thoughts and ideas. But for the most part I listen to listen, not give advice or answers.

So lately when I've had someone dumping or complaining in my ear and I'm offering words of support I have started dropping what I call a positive bomb! Someone is complaining and spewing their frustrations and feelings, and before things get too ugly I interject a small little positive. And as I've been doing this I'm finding it almost immediately stops the purging and redirects the conversation to someone less negative and more light hearted. I try to make it positive and often humorous! This is not 100%, some people continue on their road of venting-and that's okay. But quite often they circle back to my bit of humor or positive comment. 

I'm not sure if I've just been lucky or it is the timing but the redirection does work. I have a family member who recently lost a loved one. She is sad, heartbroken and lonely. I try to be a listening ear and  a shoulder to cry one. But after she has talked, cried and shared her feelings about how sad she is, I try to offer a small bit of sunshine and it has ranged from a happy memory of her passed loved one to something positive about the world around her. Just a small instant and bit of positive sunshine to help turn things to a more positive note. 

No this is nothing genius and maybe the people I've tried this on think to them selves that I'm done listening and changing the subject (and maybe I am-and in reality that is what I'm doing, trying to redirect their enegy) but I'm trying to be a small, gentle reminder that the world is a pretty tough place right now, and yes they usually have every right to feel they way they do (I'm not going to tell someone that they can't have the feelings they are having) but I'm also trying to make them see that we are pretty darn lucky and blessed-find the sunshine (often people are angry or upset about things that just don't matter).

So if I'm doing anyone any good or not, I'm not sure. And I've tried my little experiment on the phone, in conversation and vie texting or email, and regardless it has turned the conversation from heavy/sad/ negative/angry towards a more positive direction. Try it sometime, it really does work! 

As I always said to my kids (and I'm not sure it did any good) but will it matter in a day, a week, a month or a year? If the answer is no, then is it worth your time now? Find the positive.