Valentines thoughts and loving yourself

Yes, this is a problem for me. As a mother and parent and a female I've been programed to love and give to others more than myself.  While there are those in our lives who always make themselves or their possessions or their bank account or their money a first priority. I need to learn to be a lot less giving and care a lot less about these people. It's a hard concept but except for my immediate family I need to care less about those who will never care about anything or anybody but themselves first and foremost, it would mean a lot less disappointment and pain. I am constantly reminded of this lesson but I think it is finally sinking in. Expect nothing and there is no disappointment. Give less and there is more peace.

I personally dislike valentines day. It is probably because I had a dad who put my mom first and again set the bar high. He always bought mom flowers and candy. And yes she did not like chocolate and the heart shaped box of chocolates were mostly eaten by dad and us kids! But it was the thought. It was always a tradition for dad to bring home a big box of chocolates with a map on the inside lid of what kind of candy each piece was in the box. Except for one year!!! Often times Valentines day would come right before the start of lent. And everyone gave up chocolate and candy for lent-house rules. So we were often challenged to get the box of chocolates eaten before Ash Wednesday in a short time. The boxes dad always brought home came from the dime store, Tegan's Variety Store, is what it was called in Independence, Iowa. At the start of the Valentine season, some time in January, NOT December as is custom now, the store window would be decorated with beautifully decorated boxes of chocolates and stuffed animals and other Valentine fare. Dad knew, as did anyone who know her, that mom's favorite color was yellow. So usually each year he would present mom with a heart shaped box of chocolate with artificial yellow flowers and ribbon adoring the lid. He was predictable but he knew what mom loved. (He usually brought yellow flowers-roses or sometimes red roses, which were his favorite for my mom as well.) But one year in our excitement of mom opening her box of chocolates so we all could dig in, things were not what we expected. When the box was opened it was void of chocolate-EMPTY!!! It was the display box that could withstand the warmth of a store display window without the chocolates melting. Well it was a surprise to all. My dad was a little miffed but then he saw the humor of the situation and the following day my dad returned to the store to exchange the empty box for one filled with delicious chocolates! It was a running joke through the years and I remember the moment with fond memories. I'm betting all those boxes of valentine candy and the bags of candy my dad would always bring home from town my mom probably sometimes wished that it would be something more for her or something she enjoyed. But she never let on. She was thrilled that dad was always thinking of her and giving. That's what not just today, but every day should be. Giving because you care and love people, not just because they got you something or did something or you feel like you have to. It's not the material things here but kindness, a listening ear, sharing and doing things for those you care for and love. And it should be because you want to. You can say "I love you" all you want but showing it means more than words can say. Actions speak louder than words, even if it is an empty box of candy.

Positive thought of the day: Show the people you love that you do-you can say it all you want but if the actions and thoughtfulness is not there it means nothing. Some people need to learn to love themselves first-others already have this down to a fine art...