I was a witness

My mom and dad had a wonderful love story. It was one not only about love but of friendship, caring, respect and teamwork. It wasn't perfect but comes about as close as I've seen to perfect.

My parents came from two different worlds-my dad's home life was unstable-which is a nice way to put it. They moved a lot, and I'm not sure why. My grandmother was volatile and very unstable from what I've been told-I'm sure in this day and age she would have some sort of diagnosis. I've been told my grandmother would go from nice to nasty mean in the blink of an eye. My grandfather I've gathered was a very patient and quiet man. My dad was the youngest of six living children and there was a big age gap between he and his oldest sister, my aunt Kate. Dad had a rough childhood, of which I don't know a lot about and the few stories that I've been told make me sad for him.

Mom was the youngest as well. Her home life was of stability and comfort. My grandparents were near 30 when they met and wed. Mom and her two siblings were close and all lived within 3 miles of each other as adults. They celebrated birthday's and anniversaries every year as long as they were all alive-cousins grew up with cousins, aunts and uncles....my mom was the last one to survive. And I remember her telling me "there's no one left, it's not fun being left behind". She was very close with her family.

I was an eyewitness to my parents and their companionship for 36 years of their 50+ marriage. It set the bar and standard high for me. Dad would never go to town without returning with something for my mom. It was usually a bag of candy, even though she was not a big chocolate fan, it was the thought that counted for them. And there were times he would bring home flowers. His ability to give gifts always made my mom smile, dad always knew what to give. He was always thinking of her.

From this couple I was taught what you do for those you love. You work together, you share the responsibility and work load, you share the good and bad times. They talked and discussed things and were open with one another. They made decisions together and would talk about decisions before making them. My dad would start the car for mom during the winter, my mom would polish dad's shoes before church. Dad took pride in things, taking good care of them-my mom made sure to continue this practice. They worked hard and played hard but the key is they did this together.

But it was the little things from working together on the farm, the crops and livestock, to the family garden and taking care of the home-life was together for them.

These two people taught me that it was the daily things, from dad holding the door open for my mom, to walking together-not one ahead of the other but side-by-side, showing affection (which is something I grew up seeing) to just talking to one another. They shared responsibilities on the farm, in the house, raising us kids and their life in general. It was not one person taking care of everything - it was 110% given by both. I only saw my parents argue a couple of times and they both were pretty heated but it was over silly things...once when planting potatoes and another time when wallpapering-YES you read that right, those are the two biggest things I ever heard them argue about! They talked, they shared and they were each others best friend.

I'm not saying my parents were not without their problems. Dad suffered from a deep depression from a "chemical imbalance". I think his childhood and some inheritance from his mother were big factors in that depression. But this was the tough times. Health issues always bring trying times. And end of life is not like it shows in the movies, it is tough, not pretty and heart breaking. But I know my dad loved my mom to his last breath and I know my mom loved my dad to her dying day. They were best friends and the respect and love was there to the end.

But what these two people taught me is the good old fashion ways of being a team, loving someone unconditionally and working together for a the good of all and showing you care and respect at all times.

Today's marriages are seldom, if ever like this. Times have changed I know. But the simple things and ways like listening to one another, being there through good and bad, showing you care in everyday ways and to being there, no matter what for one another are what it takes to make a relationship work, any relationship. Could my parents have written a book about marriage-they could give advice but I truly believe everyone is unique and each relationship is different and I'm not just talking about marriage here. But showing you care is the biggest key and this can be done is so many ways. We all need to step back and take a look at the relationships that are important to us and see if we are treating those who mean the most to us how we'd like to be treated. It seems to be the norm that we treat strangers better than those we love.

Positive thought of the day: Live each day as if it were your last day on earth. Make the most out of it and tell the people you love that you do love them.