Doing your best work!

I've always been a night owl-this is what my mom always called me. I guess I was not a good napper as a baby or child. I was the kid laying on her kindergarten mat fidgeting and looking around instead of resting! My favorite part of the day....the later the better. I would stay up until 1, 2 or 3 a.m. reading with a flashlight under the blankets at a kid. I loved summer time when I could do this then sleep late. And when I woke up after my late night/early morning reading binge,  I'd grab my book and pick up where I left off!

High school and college years were no better. I did some of my best work after 9 or 10 p.m. in the evening! I would pull all-nighters at semester test time in college. I don't know why but I do my best work later in the day. I've always said if I was a nurse you'd want me on the 11-7 shift or the 3-11 p.m. shift. I've always been like this.

Fast forward to adulthood/parenthood and if you think you are sleep deprived in college that's nothing compared to being a parent. Newborns are so messed up with their days and nights and I understand why. Before they are born they sleep during the day because they are lulled to sleep by the movement and sounds, at night when the mom is quiet (you are sleeping) they are up and at it! I was blessed with a colicky baby on my first round. Sleep walking became the norm for me! Things got better. Kids grow up and learn to love sleep  (most, with the exception of me!). Someone once gave me the sound advice to sleep with your baby/child sleeps...best advice ever! It took me a while to learn but I did-a rested mom is a much better parent. And life continues to move along...teenagers love to sleep late after usually staying up late. I was blessed with a child who is like her dad, she loves to sleep and requires a LOT of sleep. The other two did okay in the sleep department as well.

Now that the nest is empty I'm involved even more. I work two jobs outside my full time job and I have to have something to do. I don't like to just sit and watch tv or play games on my phone. I need something productive to do. And besides the full time job and the two other part time jobs I have a house to run and take care of with little help. I've tried and struggled to train myself to be a morning person. And honestly I keep a better handle on my migraines if I do get up seven days a week at the same time. It's tough to do this some days when I've stayed up late but I feel so much better if I keep a schedule.

And I've tried to train myself to go to bed earlier. I've never been a morning person and I'm still not admitting to myself that I probably never will be but I probably won't ever be "good morning sunshine" kind of person! I was recently to the point of crawling into my bed after 8 p.m. to watch a movie on my laptop or read for a few weeks. Winter was hanging around too long, it's dark out and it is good to be home. But as you can probably guess I'd fall asleep and guess who would wake up sometime between 2-4 a.m. ME!!! Ugh. So last night I had the opportunity to stay up and wait for my youngest son to arrive home. And I was amazed at how much I got done! I was more than ready for today. I had actually gotten up earlier than normal yesterday morning and got a lot done at home as well before heading into work. I've not been home much after school this week so I was not on top of things. It happens, don't judge! But back to my late night accomplishments-I impressed myself. I felt coherent (not always the case in the mornings) and I felt ready for today when I crawled into bed after midnight. I got things done that had been on my mental "to do" list all week! Yay me!

We all have different personalities and times when we do our "best work". I'll never judge someone who is a morning person or does their best work at 3 a.m. Yay you regardless! Now someone who needs 10-12 hours of sleep....I struggle with that one...but we're all different. I feel like poo if it get too much sleep-usually triggers a migraine and I'd rather eat dirt to avoid one of those.  But it is what it is! Make the most of whatever kind of personality your have, be it a night owl, an early bird or an exhausted pigeon!!

When I do dumb things

We all do dumb things. Some people do dumb things daily or several times a day. Some people rarely do dumb things. I have mastered the fine art of doing dumb things, so I'm a daily dumb things doer! I've also tried to master the fine art of covering up or ignoring my stupidity or praying no one notices! But I'll be the first one to laugh at myself.

My dumb thing today....leaving my lunch sit out on the counter all night. Duh Lynn. I sadly put it in the trash at 6 a.m. when I discovered my unthinking act. I was half mad at myself. because I was looking forward to lunch! So lunch today consisted of dry granola bar and an apple with some water. I had a perfectly delicious leftover lunch I could have been eating....but noooooo. Nice job Lynn.

The other almost dumb thing I did was wear shoes that have holes in them (not like they are worn and old but part of the design on the top of the shoe-I call them my perforated shoes!). It has been pouring rain for the past 12 hours and is sloppy and wet out. I stepped outside my back door and turned around the went in to change my shoes-at least I didn't get any farther than that! I knew it was raining, hard, but didn't give it a thought when I slipped on my shoes for the day. Another duh Lynn moment, that was like the second one within an hour this morning. Insert eye roll emoji here!

Being the youngest of five I did a lot of silly, embarrassing and stupid things. And my siblings liked to laugh and make fun of me when I did this. I get embarrassed easily and I'm still very conscience of what I say or do and try to avoid at all cost the risk of embarrassing myself. Having people laugh at you, especially when it is an embarrassing moment is not a good feeling. And especially when the people laughing at you is someone you trust or are close to and it's in public, it hurts because they are laughing at you.

I try, as I've said before, to fly under the radar. Stealth-mode, as I like to call it. I worry about having food in my teeth or saying something dumb or tripping in front of a crowd. No I have not embraced my klutziness nor my stupidity, especially in front of people I know or people who I know will be the first one to point out my faux pas. I don't need someone calling out my stupidity, I'm fully aware of it! I also try to cover when someone else makes a mistake or does something embarrassing. We're all in this together and the last thing I want to do is point out someone's screw up.

I love a good laugh, it's good for the soul, and I often laugh at myself for the dumb things I do or think or say. So when it comes to laughing at myself or a good friend for something dumb, it is truly good for the soul. But when it is an embarrassing moment I'll try to cover or ignore or help divert attention away from the situation. I'm a safety kind of person!

So I will continue to try to embrace my dumb moments and if someone points them out I will try to handle it with dignity and grace rather than turning 12 shade of red from blushing and getting flustered (this is my usual method of dealing). I'm sure I'm not finished with dumb things for today...it happens, I need to embrace my stupidity and mistakes and laugh at them rather than hid them. I'm working on it....

Have a good dumb-free day!

What are you reading?

I've been a book worm since I learned how to read! Today I'd like to call it a library/book store rat!!

I used to read any and everything I could get my hands on. I read all the books left behind by my sisters. I would go to the library on Saturday while my mom would get groceries to stock up on books for the week! I would do the reading club/challenge that the public library offered every summer. I would ask for books or use gift money to buy books. I can't imagine what it's like to NOT be able to read.

So recently I sent out an email to all female staff at my school inviting them to be part of a book club here at school. I heard back from seven other people and so we created "our little book club," as I like to call it.  We have a variety of people involved. When we met two weeks ago to discuss our first book, two members had finished the book, two of us were in the midst of reading the book, two had not gotten the book and one I'm not sure of but could not be there. The discussion was interesting and educational.

So we forged ahead to read book number two. (I still have to finish the first book-but don't tell anyone!). So I'm on a reading kick right now. I have bought a few books, after I read them I donate them to the library I work at so the book can be read by others-pay it forward. I've started the second book...and I've read at least 2-3 other books in the mean time. I used to read any and everything. Now I have a hard time finding books that keep my interest or I feel worth my time. Yes I've gotten picky.

I ordered three books from ebay last week that arrived earlier this week, they were cheap, it was a buy two get one for free deal and all were books that were on my "books I want to read" list. None of them are current or on Oprah's must-read list or the New York Times best sellers list right now. But non-the-less they were books that I wanted to read. Well guess what, they arrived, I grabbed the top book and to say I'm a little obsessed with it is an understatement! I read during the night the night before last...for 2-1/2 hours, instead of sleeping. I haven't done this for a long time. It's an autobiography by an actress and I've found it funny. Funny to the point where I've actually cried because I'm laughing so hard. That might be part of the reason why I'm enjoying it. And I'm NOT getting my book club book read, once again!

I'm a feast or famine reader. I can go months without having a book to read or take months to read a book. In the past four weeks I've read six books. I love this. Yes, there are things that are NOT getting done, but no one is going hungry and work is still getting finished. Why do I have this obsession again, I don't know. Maybe I've opened my mind or tried a new genre or two. I read a murder mystery and that genre has not been my forte for a while. It was a good read suggested by my daughter. Regardless I have enjoyed this down time, other than my lack of sleep, for the past month or so. For me reading is like exercising-it's good for my mind and soul.

We all forget and don't realize how much we read every day-it's like breathing, you just take it for granted. It's part of life!

By the way, what are YOU reading right now?

Too busy

In this day and age of technology people seem to be too busy all the time. Oh sure they take time to do the things they enjoy. To go to sporting events or a concert or go out to eat. But being too busy seems to be an excuse for everything any more.

I like to keep busy. Yes I have a hard time sitting still. For me to sit and do nothing is extremely hard to do. I love to read. I'm not a big television watcher. But reading either a book or on a device can pass my time quite easily. I will never understand those who can sit for hours glued to the television. I honestly believe it turns your mind to mush. And if you think about it unless you are watching the news or a documentary about history what you are watching is junk....television shows are made up stories. Yes it's great to laugh and be entertained or trying to figure out a mystery. Sports is entertaining but once the game is over life goes on. A lot of people forget that. They get upset or worked up about the outcome or if a call was not how they thought it should be in a sporting event they are watching on tv, or if a television program does not go as they think or expected or thought. But its not real life. And yes we all need a break from reality, to have entertainment but hour after hour of sitting in front of a tv or computer watching crap to me is an utter waste of time, of life. You're not too busy you just don't want to deal with life and reality.

I went to a movie last night with a friend. It was a movie from a book I read about animals, dogs in particular and their purpose. The movie made me laugh and cry. It was entertaining and it had me thinking as I drove home about our purpose. I called a friend to just say hi and see how their day went as I drove home. I hung up from the conversation wondering why I'd called? It had no purpose and left me feeling kind of sad. I mainly wanted that person to know I cared and was thinking about them, but when I hung up I felt my call didn't matter.

It seems that we are all too busy to call or text just to say hi and ask how someone is and really mean it when we ask "how are you"? Often times I wonder if it is an automatic question and if we really don't hear the response. Or we just reply with an automatic answer. Or in plain truth are "too busy" to reply which seems to be the case more and more with people in my life that I deal with.

I have been in those groups or situations where I've said something or asked something and no one replies....talk about making someone feel insignificant. BIG TIME. So when someone in a group says something I always try to reply or acknowledge that person and that they said something. The same goes for emails and texting. I always try to reply...I want them to know I care and I acknowledge them they are a value to me. But I'm finding less and less people are doing this and honestly I've about had it. If people can't take 5-10 seconds out of their "busy" day to reply then I guess I'm not important to them nor do I matter. What goes around comes around.

I'm the person who will talk to the custodial staff the same as a school board member, I will take the time, I will talk to you about the weather or ask how your family is. Every one deserves this we all come into this world with nothing and leave with nothing. No one is more important nor am I too busy to talk to them.

So if someone tells me they are "too busy" to reply to my call or email or text ya' know what I say, BULL! No one is that busy, plain and simple your too busy for ME! There's the cold hard truth. Ya' I understand life is busy, but life is never too busy to acknowledge someone, reply, and sometimes it make take a bit. But I believe every deserves to be acknowledged and answered or just to be told I care and I'm thinking of you...no one is too busy for that.

You're only as busy as you want to be and if you are too busy for someone then maybe someday they will be too busy for you...

More than today

I have never been a fan of valentines day. I was not very good at making or creating or decorating valentines boxes, my elementary school years are a testament to that and probably my kid's too! And my cookie decorating skills, well they lack as well. And writing all those valentines, to me as a kid, were a pain in the butt, especially when you have 28 or 30+ kids in your class. I'm still not a fan and I honestly can't explain why other than it has always been highly over-rated.

I honestly feel like you should tell the people you love and who mean a lot to you that you love them every single day and/or every chance you get and this ranges from saying it to showing it, it's all the same difference and one day should not make a difference or be the only reason why.

I don't have a favorite valentines day memory and as an adult you want to know my favorite part of Valentines day?? February 15, when the the candy is half priced!!! I mean that, honestly.

My dad always brought my mom candy or flowers for no reason all year long for as long as he was able and as far back as I can remember. My mom was not a big candy or chocolate fan and I honestly think he did it for his sweet tooth more than anything but mom loved it anyway. But every time he went to town he would bring home candy for mom, sometimes he'd have flowers for her too, but always a bag or box of candy. Mom always had flowers in the garden or on the rose bushes during the summer, so she never lacked for flowers. I love the story of Valentines day the one year my dad bought my mom the usual beautiful heart-shaped box with yellow artificial flowers on it and filled with candy, or so he thought, until my mom opened the box and it was empty, just weighted down. It was the window display box (so it wouldn't melt) and my dad was not happy. My mom laughed and I remember her laughing and teasing my dad every time he got her candy in a box after that! My dad eventually saw the humor in the mix up but he was not happy when it originally happened. That was the difference in my parents, my mom always found humor, my dad was more serious. That memory makes me smile and is a reminder of how much my parents loved each other.

I still have the cards my kids made and brought home from school for valentines days over their school years. They are treasured, and they always will be. For a while my valentines days consisted of getting flowers which I would eventually have to go pay for....not a good thing to do guys-just a piece of advice here. I would honestly rather get flowers the 14th of July or the 21 of December, for absolutely no reason, other than someone who loves or cares about you is thinking about you. No rhyme or reason.

So regardless if you are sending a dozen roses, a text/email, card or a care package filled with a favorite candy just do it and don't just do it on Feb. 14, but any single day of the year is a great time to do these things. I see and hear of more people unhappy and hurt this day than any other day of the year.  Tell the same people you are telling and showing how much you love them today the same today and the other 364 days of the year.

Apparently God thinks I can handle all of this

There is nothing wrong with routine and quiet. I'll be the first to admit that. Quiet is good!

But looking back, and now once again, I've got a who load of stuff coming at me, and honestly I'm not so sure I can handle or cope. I'm tired and I just want things to settle down.

Five years ago my mom was failing and I was dealing with health issues. A month to the day after she passed away I had major surgery, and it knocked me on my butt. I dealt, survived, healed in several ways and lived.

As a kid in high school I had to grow up quickly due to illness with one of my parents. I'd always helped on the farm but I went from helping when needed to helping run the show, in this case the family farm. It was an overnight education into adulthood. Making adult decisions as a 15 or 17-year old is a bit scary. But I lived, I learned and life went on.

As a parent I watched my parents make decisions about their children as parents, meaning they did it together, I on the other had did a lot of parent decision making alone. And I did the best I could without being a pain in the butt parent. I tried, is all I can say. Life went on and I don't think I scarred my kids too badly.

It was thrilling to have all three of my kids get engaged within a three month time span. And a bit chaotic to have them all get married in less than five months. But it was fun, I lived and life was finally supposed to be settling down after the last wedding less than a month ago. But NOOOOOOO. Someone just has to throw another life changing event into my world. A major life changing event. I just want dull, routine, quiet and settled. But that's not the case once again. I never thought life would be a continuation of one major life event after another. I don't see other people having to go through or deal with this. Or maybe I just don't see it.

Do I have feelings regarding this potential change-you're damn right. I don't like the constant change. I don't like the feelings, I don't like the lack of thought beyond the moment nor do I want to be that person who stands up and says loud and clear, "NO".  I"m trying to look at this from all sides other than from one angle which seems to be the case from the individual who is bringing this to my table.

And I keep putting all of this in God's hands. And then I take it away and make it all my problem trying to handle it alone, trying to come up with a million different scenarios or ways to deal with or options. And why does God keep doing this to me...well I guess he must think I can handle it, but honestly I'm doubting my capabilities and sanity a lot, plus I'm tired and I just want things to settle down for a while. I just want a quiet routine, not my whole world turned upside down and I'm working my butt off because of someone else's choice. So God, I know because I tell myself this about a million times a day lately, must think I can handle all of this and I have to tell myself that I can handle anything that HE and I can handle together. I keep praying for peace and answers...come on God, I'm waiting.

When life derails you

Life happens. And for all good intentions what you have planned does not always go as planned. My 2017 plans to be a better person for me got derailed when on the first week of this new year I came down with the knock down drag out stomach flu. I will spare you the unpleasant details but it wasn't pretty. It took me 3 days to drink a small gatorade and eat a couple of saltine crackers. Water was the main part of my diet for a few days. I tried to eat...but I paid for it after eating for many days after this bug hit as well as for weeks following. I can finally eat without after meal pain. I just can't eat a lot yet. My energy levels are not where they were and my blood sugar levels are still out of whack.

My goals for this year was to make more and better healthy choices and eliminate some food groups out of my diet for a variety of health reasons. Well sugar free and gluten free have not happened and here we are Feb. 1, one month into the new year. After getting hit on Jan. 3 with that nasty bug my health, lifestyle and energy has been compromised. Working out has been a challenge to say the least-I lack energy, big time. And yes it has put me in a foul and bad mood at times. Yes I'm tired and some evenings I fight to keep going despite the fact that it is only 7:30 or 8:30 at night. I know I will be awake at 3 a.m. if I fall asleep too early. I try to keep going, get things done, get my steps in and plug away. Someday's I do it, other days, not so much.

Lack of sunshine and poor moral at work or by those around me has not helped either. And I've continued to plug way, going through the motions, showing up, doing what I have to and getting out. Not a good way to live life.

The one highlight I had was my son's wedding. I put the residual affects of the flu aside and had fun, made memories, relaxed and enjoyed.

I've tried to remember that there are people, probably some very close around me, who would give anything to even have one of my bad days....let that soak in. Lack of sunshine, the flu or the behavior of others is small potatoes compared to what some people are dealing with. I can deal with and need to get to a better place, PLUS learn to be patient with myself, something I lack a great deal.

So with the start of this new month, I'm going to pretend it is Jan. 1 rather than Feb. 1 and start again with my mission. And that is to continue to be more physically active, to eat healthier, make better food choices, eliminate the negative and do more of what makes ME happy and stop trying to please everyone else. Oh, and say NO when I want to and not feel guilty about it. It's a new day, new month and still a new year. So what if there are only 11 months left, it's better than nothing. It's time to kick some butt, and move forward, because NO ONE is guaranteed to be here at the end of the day, week, month or year. Make today count, even if its a small step. So there life, take that!