Dec. 6, St. Nick's day

Yes, St. Nicholas day has rolled around again. And I just read my blog from last year. The basis for my tradition that I've done with my kids over the years and my memories and hopes for what this day represents for them.

Okay, truth time. I've battle with the issue of  if I should or should not continue the St. Nick's day tradition. I asked my daughter, who was no help, if I should continue it or if everyone had out grown and tired of  this? I've been back and forth with if I should keep doing this or just stop. And last week I decided to keep the tradition going. The problem is St. Nick doesn't have his act together this year! He's working on it but just didn't get it all pulled together. And all day long I've tried to figure out a way to let my kids and their spouses know that St. Nick was still around, just a little behind. Well here it is!

But I had a first tonight, St. Nick left me a gift. I've never been on the receiving end of St. Nicholas day. As I stated in my blog last year the St. Nick tradition came from the memories my mom shared of her childhood and how St. Nick would come to her house leaving small gift in their shoes or socks. This is where I got the idea and started the tradition in my house for my kids.

But tonight a phone call from my son Ranen who instructed me that he and his wife had left something in his closet....three gifts-from St. Nick!! This is the highlight of my week, I have no doubt. St. Nick left a candle that smells wonderful. A large deck of cards for someone else who lives under the same roof and the world's softest Peanuts blanket! Snoopy, Charlie Brown and the whole gang are wrapped around me as I type this. From the bottom of my heart-THANK YOU. This is the first St, Nick gifts I've ever gotten and I must say that Whitney and Ranen, I mean St. Nick, did a wonderful job and this is one of the biggest surprises I've had a in a long, long time. It has touched my heart.

So in the season of giving and the spirit of what St. Nicholas day is all about, I wish anyone reading this the blessings of the season and my you find the true spirit of what this time of year is all about in your heart.

Saving it for company

My parents grew up in the depression era and were savers. As I've learned over the years the saving my parents did was due to hard times during the depression that they went through. So I grew up with saving things for "good" or when company came. My parents did a lot of entertaining, from holidays to birthdays,  card parties and a weekly visit with cousins as each others house, there was always entertaining going on.

My mom loved to entertain. She had several sets of good dishes, which ranged from her wedding china to at least two other sets of china and later in life Christmas dishes which was something my mom always wanted. Mom and dad got each of use kids the same set of Christmas dishes as gifts for the holidays. My mom always considered having made it when they could afford the holiday dishes.

So I am reminded of my mom weekly, if not daily around my own home. I have several of her saved for company bathroom towels that I now use daily or weekly. They are pretty, but now being put to good use and are a happy reminder of my mom and growing up. Mom would never burn candles except for on those special occasions when they entertained. I vividly remember a holiday, I'm not sure which one, that I lit a set of good candles and for a brief moment my mom was a bit taken aback but smiled and made a comment along the lines that we just as well use them-a rare occasion (I was such a rebel!). My mom would put out towels on the towel racks that were only for show and never used (until they ended up in my house). And there were the towels that were only used by company. The towels we used were sometimes very ragged, towels that were wearing thin, but they still did the job, we didn't care or notice-we just used it until it wore out and had served it's purpose. I don't have company towels at my house, we use all the towels in the closet or on the self.

I have an every day set of dishes that are used every day. And I have a set of china that has hardly been used over the last 10+ years. They were a must on the insistence of my mother in-law when I got married and I received china pieces for many birthday and Christmas presents after my wedding day. Those dishes are nice, I like them. But they are too much work to use. No one really notices what you eat off of as long as it is clean and we've taken to using disposal dishes and flatware since my mother in-law has passed away. Life is too short to spend so much time doing dishes and worrying about breaking something. And someday they will be passed on to who ever wants them hardly used.

So today as I put out a new hand towel in my bathroom I was again reminded of my mom. It was one of her company towels I hung up, it gets used weekly now. I remember how proud she was of how nice her house looked when my parents entertained. But as I am now using her towels I'm reminded that every day is special and using the good towels, burning the candles or maybe breaking out the good china is okay to do any day of the week for absolutely no reason. Why save it for someone else to use? Times have changed and today we live in a disposable world where if people get tired of something they get rid of it regardless if it is still usable and in good condition.

If you come to my house to visit you won't get "good" towels, you'll get the towels that we use everyday. The candles have been burned and all I can guarantee is whatever you are eating off of is it will be clean regardless if it is china, everyday dishes or paper plates, it just has to serve the purpose! I don't want someone else using what I saved. Life is meant to be lived and used up. Use up what you've been given and make the most of it.

My last Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was last Thursday and it was great. Family and friends and food and being together. I loved having us all together. Having everyone home is the best. But here's my statement and I mean this from the bottom of my heart-it was my last Thanksgiving. Let me explain, I am done hosting and cooking and cleaning and preparing weeks and days ahead of time only to be exhausted and not enjoy the time leading up to,  much less the event of Thanksgiving.

Hosting a family event is no small undertaking. And personally I have always used holidays as a goal to get things done at my house. No matter how big or small those "get things done" items are, it gives me something to work for besides having my family home.

But working late at night, getting up early, and starting to work as soon as I walk in the door from my out of house job is exhausting and stressful and doing it alone sucks, big time it sucks.

I've thought and toyed with this concept for the past couple of years. But this year as I worked late or got up early to get things done and was frustrated and upset because of lack of help I found myself angry because I was not enjoying this time leading up and was mentally and physically exhausted during and after the holiday. This is NOT what this is all about. This is not fun. And finally THIS IS NOT HOW THIS SHOULD BE. I love thanksgiving, I mean love it. It is one of my favorite holidays because it involves food, being together and hanging out. There are not gifts or easter baskets or any other expectations gift giving-wise. You can wear elastic waistband pants because the whole purpose of the day is to eat, be together and eat. Go for a walk and eat. Hang out, talk and eat. It is not frowned upon to share a beer with your daughter in-law at 10 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning. It's being together. Family.

Don't get me wrong, I've had great help over the years with people bringing food. The occasional forgotten relish tray by a family member or the holding Thanksgiving dinner while waiting for relatives to arrive from another family thanksgiving three doors away was a bit frustrating but everyone has pitched in to help with the food portion of the holiday over the years. We've shared some good food over the years.

This year, 2017, has been a year of cleaning out and getting rid of for me. From getting rid of stuff I no longer want, need or use to removing people who are nothing but toxic in my life. Having three weddings in five months, my sister diagnosed with cancer and go through treatment and having a sister in-law pass away has been a sort of wake up call for me in  an 18 month time span. Life is too short. If other people don't care then they are no longer my problem or concern. No more one sided. So after 20+ years of thanksgiving dinners at my house this year was the last. I'm not saying I won't ever host again, but I'm handing over the baton or turkey leg or turkey baster to someone else, whoever wants it. And after I finally said that out loud last Friday to another human, I felt a sense of relief. Traditions are wonderful, I love traditions. But working to exhaustion is not wonderful nor fun or enjoyable. How some people can be blind and oblivious to what is going on around them is beyond me. I can't change things and I only take care of me and my little world to the best of my abilities. I'll change what I can and walk away when I can't.

I am not alone in this thinking of women who are tired and exhausted preparing for an upcoming holiday. I had several coworkers last week talk about being stressed or upset as they got ready for Thanksgiving and then there was the one coworker who told me she sat in her bathtub and cried because she has so much to do and had no help.

I got a case of the guilts the other night when I did a majority of my Christmas shopping online and it will all be delivered in the next week or so. I'm  for the most part done Christmas shopping. Gone are the days of buying gifts for two other adults in a family Christmas name drawing plus the three nieces or nephews names my own kids got in the name drawing, then wrapping those gifts, then trek to the post office to mail those gifts in time for the holiday. Also gone is the gift buying for parents and in-law parents (sadly, and only one parent left).  AND....the santa gifts to buy and wrap, I used to Christmas shop for 12-14 other people every year-ALONE, no help. And there was/is the food to make to take or prepare at my house and the clothes for family Christmas or church, oh and lets not forget the packing and traveling that was once part of our family holiday schedule. Those days are gone.

Holidays are about being together and I've been trying to get back to that. I've been the wet blanked with one of my families pushing for change...not more name drawing for gift giving. Setting a dollar amount and making it simple after my sister  in-law made her feelings known, in a polite way, about my gift card giving that I gave because I didn't have time to go shopping for items and it is much cheaper to mail a gift card to California or Maryland than a box of wrapped stuff. Spending time with family and doing stuff together is a lot more fun. Sitting out games because there is stuff to be done or because I'm too tired to play is not fun.

So I hereby officially resign my duties of Thanksgiving. I will help clean and prepare any food but I've just hosted my last Thanksgiving.

Missing my dad

I was a daddy's girl, I will admit it. We were a lot alike. We were both fiercely stubborn but more times than not thought a great deal alike. He and I would hang out on the back steps or watching tv. Because I was a skinny little kid I could fit next to my dad in his big chair. We'd watch tv, eat popcorn and enjoy life.

My dad's birthday was Nov. 1 and many years since his death I'd make his traditional favorite meal, roast, potatoes and sometimes I'd made a German chocolate cake-all his favorites. My dad would have been 98-years old this year.

I went through some good and bad times with my dad. He taught me how to be fiercely independent. He taught me how to do things on my own, for myself. But he also had his old school ways of thinking like I should make my brother's bed-no way, nor how was that going to happen, nor did it ever happen. Yes, dad and I butted heads at times regarding life.

I unfortunately inherited migraine headaches and dad was the one who picked me up from school the first time I got a migraine. He said he knew immediately what was wrong with me when he picked me up and I tried to put my foot in the vomit bucket instead of my shoe because I could not see! He was the one who insisted taking me to the ER on two occasions when those migraines got so bad I could not function or handle the pain and was asking if I was going to die. Heredity is not always a good thing.

I was in junior high when my dad sunk into a deep depression and ended up in the hospital. The ugly world of depression would rear it's ugly head in my life for my dad on several occasions throughout my teen years. I learned to to run a house and farm along with my brother due to dad's depression. After going to school all day I would come home and put on my farmers daughter hat then help with planting or harvesting, whatever the season it was. And the livestock chores would become part of my life, morning and night. I was helping my brother play catch up along with my mom when she didn't go up to the hospital to be with my dad. It was a tough time and made my brother and I grow up very quickly taking on adult roles and responsibilities. But I never thought of not doing the work or not stepping up to help. I never blamed my dad while doing my homework sitting in the cab of a tractor or doing hog chores at 11 p.m. at night, it's just what we did.

My dad was the handiest guy I knew. I could share an idea or vision and he usually could make it a reality. Times got better for dad after I left for college. The depression seemed to ebb and life and my dad returned to a new normal.

My dad battled Parkinson's disease in his later year, and it would lead to his death. It breaks my heart yet whenever I see someone with the shakes from this disease. It is a nasty disease that I hope a cure is someday found.

But every year as November 1 rolls around my heart remembers and is sad and I miss my dad a little bit more along with all the other days of the year that I miss him. He loved his birthday. It was a holy day he always pointed out! And he loved sharing the story of how he would have been a halloween baby if the doctor would have gotten to the house sooner but the doctor way delayed due to halloween shenanigans-outhouses turned over in the road that he had to move to get his horse and buggy through on his way to the house! My how times have changed!

So once again my heart aches a little bit more on dad's special day, and I'll wear red, my dad's favorite color on Nov. 1 and will make his favorite meal sometime soon to celebrate. It makes my heart happy to see my dad in my kids in so many ways. And I know I was loved by my dad and I loved him right back. Happy birthday Dad, I love and miss you.

Lack of sleep and dumb things are funny

I seem to go in cycles with my sleep habits, honestly I think a lot of people do this from time to time. If I get too much sleep a migraine usually hits, punishment for the over abundance. If I get 6-7 hours of sleep at night I'm just right. I've never been a "I need my sleep" kind of girl.

But I lately I seem to have gotten into a not so fun cycle with my sleep and I go from feast to famine. I get my 7 hours of sleep and then a couple of days later I'm struggling because I only get 4-5 hours of sleep. Yes I tend to get a tad bit sleep deprived and then I'm on the struggle bus. My head is foggy and I literally feel like I could curl up on the hard floor and fall asleep somedays-until it's time to go to bed, then I'm wide awake, but that's a whole other story. I'm worse than a kid, I know. I try drinking ice cold water or coffee to get me through the sleep deprived days.

Lack of sleep is often coupled with a case of the giggles. The last round of sleep deprivation for me prompted such a case of the giggles with a coworker and it was over something really dumb! And because I was tired it hit me funny, dumb funny and we laughed and giggled. But that was good for my soul! I always manage to fumble my way through a day and usually manage only a couple of really dumb mistakes. I'm glad I don't have a job where I'm not operating heavy equipment or power equipment, because I'd be wreaking things, hurting or running people over on those sleep deprived days.

So here's to a new week, one that I hope is filled with plenty of sleep and plenty of laughter and giggles to make you smile! Have a good one!

Which team do you cheer for?

I typically like college football. But there are two weeks in Iowa that are two of my least favorite Saturday's of football. It is the two weekends of Iowa teams playing each other for bragging rights or something along those lines.

I was born and raised an Iowa Hawkeye. My dad was an avid Hawk fan and I'm sure he is still cheering for them. I looked at all three state colleges and was accepted to all three but a deciding factor for not choosing two (actually three, Loras College in Dubuque also qualified) was the comment my mom made one day to me regarding she and my dad stopping by if I was in college in Iowa City, Cedar Falls or Dubuque-because they were close! Yes that was one of the deciding factors in choosing a college. I knew I needed to be far enough from home not to run home every weekend (or have my parents stopping by!).

I honestly feel an allegiance to all three state colleges for a variety of reasons, and not just because everyone else is on some kind of band wagon or some other ridiculous reason.

When I was in school I attended events at both Iowa and UNI so I grew up at and am comfortable with both. My dad, as I mentioned, was an avid Iowa fan. He was especially fond of men's basketball purely for the reason it was a winter sport and he had time to watch and attend games. Football was harvest time and he didn't have the time to watch or attend. His passion for the Hawks still warms my heart, he loved to watch them.

Iowa State is another favorite because of family and the Cyclones at times remind me of the Chicago Cubs before last year's World Series. ISU is at times the lovable losers. They are either up or down, it seems there is seldom an in-between!

UNI is a quiet force that always takes a backseat to all the hype Iowa and ISU seem to get and probably has to do with size as well. They are kind of like the forgotten little sister-you forget they are there at times.

Regardless of who is playing who I am pulling for the team from Iowa, except for the Saturday's when UNI plays ISU and Iowa plays ISU. Can't everyone win?! I do not like the crappy banter some fans post or say during these weeks of play-both before and after play. Some fans are really crappy losers. And I'm not going to bash or side with one team's fans or another. All teams have their share of crappy fans. BUT there seems to be more dip-s$@% fans for one team than the other two.teams. Regardless it is all just a game. It has notaffect on world peace nor is the cure for cancer or ends wars. We are all Iowan's, living in the same great state. It is just that, a sport, a college sport and it gives one-third of the state bragging rights for 12 months until next year.

So regardless of the outcome of last week's game or this week's game I'm still rooting for all three teams. And if you say that's not being a fan then you need to open your eyes, broaden your perspective, get a life...it's just a sport. It's just a GAME. Look that up....game-noun-1.  a form of play or sport....

Lists

Some people are list makers. My mom always wrote a grocery list. I put my grocery list on my phone and IF I do write a list I try to remember to take a picture of that list with my phone or else I forget that crazy list when I go to the grocery store. My grocery lists are a far cry from the ones my mom made. I grew up in a house that most of the food on the table was homemade. We seldom had store bought, from the cookies in the jar to the meat and side dishes at each meal, there was very little box mixes or frozen meals served.

Some people have bucket lists, and I have started a sort of bucket list. It only has a couple of things on it, nothing major or too impressive. But it's a start.

I also have a list on my phone of books I want to read-I'm nerdy like that. And another list of things to do...go to a friend who now coaches college basketball game, and go out to eat with another friend and his wife. That list is pretty short and not too exciting.

I have a third list on my phone, restaurants I want to try. That list mostly includes eateries in the city. And the list is compiled from articles I've read or suggestions from what other people have enjoyed and told me. That list is a bit longer and includes a variety. I hope to try most,  if not all on that list.

I some times do  "to-do" lists Usually it is things that I need to do or I'm asking other people to help me with. (It is very hard for me to ask others for help). I keep a very small list of things I'd like to get done or to do-usually things around my house or to my house. I don't share this list very often usually because the items on that list require extra help and/or man power...it's more of a "wish list" to me. Oh well.

My written lists are reminders, so are short term....lunch in the fridge or take a check for lunch money or take back pop cans and bottles to the redemption center, or meeting after school- are just a few of the things I write down to remind myself so I have a note on my counter by my keys in the morning...things that I often forget because I'm hurrying out the door in the mornings or have too many other things on my mind when I get home from school in the afternoons. They help keep me on task or at least remind me that they need to be done....that doesn't mean they get done or I don't forget!

I always make a list for holiday meals. And every time I sit down to make these meal lists I promise myself not to cook myself into a frenzy. But guess what, I start out very focused and end up with four vegetables at Thanksgiving dinner or six different desserts and three kinds of soup for Christmas eve. I want to make everyone's favorite and it becomes food overload! There are worse things-at least that's what I tell myself!

The lists I need to remember to do more often are the list of people and things I am blessed with and what I am thankful for. These are lists that help keep me grounded and more focused and certainly don't need to be written down.
I am blessed with...my family, my health, my freedom, clean water, food on the table, a roof over my head and many, many more things.
So many blessings and a list that I need to remember daily and appreciate more often.

I'm not a professional at the list making, I'm more of an on-again off-again lister, and I will admit if I write something down (rather than make a list on my phone) I am more likely to remember it! (So it is true that if you write something you remember it better!).

So with a holiday tomorrow and a short week ahead I have a list of things I would like to accomplish this week and what meetings I have to go to. And I'm betting most of the items on that list and schedule will get done and be remembered because I wrote it! Yay me!!

So to those who are constant list makers, I am in awe and bow down to your organization skills. I wish I was more like you. But for now I'll be the occasional "lister" and do the best I can when I don't make a list and forget more than I remember!