What has been your best Christmas ever? I'm looking at this from a childhood perspective today.
As a kid I often was left on my own, meaning I had no one near my age to play with or hang out with. This was okay. It taught me how to be independent and I learned how to entertain myself. I also remember hearing my older siblings, mainly my sisters and mostly my second sister, comment a lot about how spoiled it was. It is what it is. I never compared myself to them or what I saw they had at my age from old family photos. So one of my most memorable Christmas's was the year I made a "haul" as a kid. I got a baby doll, a life like tall/big doll (my kids will remember this one as the doll they named Abby Donna), a kitchen set complete with a sink, stove, refrigerator, washer and dryer and.....wait for it ....a kid size ironing board and toy iron!!! YES!!! This was like dying and going to kid heaven for me. I don't recall how old I was nor if I asked for any of this. And I look back on the pictures and think wow I got a lot that year! I'm sure it was because I was soooo good!!! No comments from the peanut galley please! But I did make a haul that year. Plus my god mother, who was a wonderful seamstress, made me a ton of clothes for my big doll including a coat and matching hat and a wedding dress, pajamas and a red velvet dress-she did beautiful work. I remember being thrill with everything and I know I spent hours playing with all of these items. I had played with a lot of my sisters hand-me-downs over the years, which I was fine with. You can't miss what you've never had. But looking back that was quite the Christmas for this kid!
I enjoyed, played with and took care of my toys. My older brother always took my toys apart and could never get them back the way they were originally so I wasn't always so good at sharing after I learned that lesson the hard way in regard to the head of one of my dolls... I also had a niece, just seven years my younger and she wanted for nothing. She would often get so much for Christmas that she couldn't remember it all when they would call on Christmas day...a problem that often made this little girl jealous and at times or confused. Who needed that much stuff? And she would have the top of the line when it came to toys, clothes and such. You have to remember that I was a little uniform wearing, Catholic school kid so my wardrobe was limited to uniforms, a church or good outfit or two and play/work clothes (jeans, shorts, t-shirt and sweatshirts) which was typical farm attire. I was never neglected by any means but an over abundance always left me bewildered, lets just put it that way. And I loved playing with my nieces toys!
But that Christmas that I hit the jackpot is a fun and fond memory and I'm still not sure why I got all of that? I just know I played with and enjoyed it all and I still have some of it!
But honestly to this day what I remember more than any of the Christmas presents I ever got that year or any other year, is the traditions we had. From when and where and how we decorated the Christmas tree, to the food, home made cookies and candy and oyster soup or grasshopper drinks (my mom's favorite), how Santa delivered the gifts to going to midnight mass as a family and the peacefulness and beauty of the season. Fond memories abound for me and I am thankful I had parents who believe in keeping traditions and if they realized that or not but how important those traditions are in my childhood and adult life today.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
St. Nicholas Day!
Dec. 6-St. Nicholas day! I remember growing up and hearing my mom talk about St Nicholas day. She always spoke fondly of the memories she had as a child and when St. Nicholas would come to visit. She was a kid of the 1930's so she grew up in much simpler times and in the depression era. She told me about St. Nick leaving small treats in their shoes, fresh oranges (fresh fruit this time of year back then was limited), a big chief writing pad and a peppermint stick (candy cane) and other trinkets which were a treat back in those days. These memories mom would share always put a smile on her face and I loved hearing them.
St. Nick never came to our house when I was a kid. I'm not sure why my mom didn't continue her childhood tradition but she did not for my older sibling sand myself.
So when I started my family I decided to bring my mom's St. Nick's day tradition to my yearly holiday family traditions. I modified it a bit. I wanted to make it something my kids would remember...so "St. Nick" would leave candy, fruit and a christmas tree ornament in my kids shoes or slippers. My hope was to give my kids something they would have in the future and give them a good memory from their childhood, like my mom had-thus the reason for the ornaments. I've never been on the receiving end of St. Nicholas day I've only delivered the gifts and I hope that those who have received my St. Nick day gifts have enjoyed them and it has created special memories! I love doing it!
Some years St. Nick's day would creep up on me and I'd scramble to get his trinkets in their shoes. As the kids have grown up and moved away St. Nick often put's his gifts in with mailed Christmas presents or is delivered at Christmas time with the rest of the presents! Regardless, if I've forgotten a St. Nick's day it was purely because I was too busy and/or spaced it off ( I do think maybe he delivered late a time or two!)!! But my hope was to make a memory for my kids, give them something that each year as adults when they take out their christmas tree ornaments they'd remember the day and the simple gifts of St. Nick, plus it gave them all a basis for their own Christmas trees as grownups. I tried to do a theme with the kids ornament, Ryan would often get fishing, Cubs or sports ornaments while Ashlyn would have dancing, angels or crystals themed decorations and Ranen would find sports, nut crackers or Yankees ornaments in his shoes. I've since added significant others, now spouses to this tradition. The St. Nick gifts now are an ornament each, and a bag of candy for the couple to share. My goal with the ornaments is to try to find something that represents a happy and good memory for each.
So on this day of giving, before the holiday rush gets too wild and crazy my hope is that we remember the small, simple, thoughtful gifts that we get in life, not just today but everyday all throughout the year and appreciate the spirit in which they are given. A happy and blessed St. Nicholas day to all.
St. Nick never came to our house when I was a kid. I'm not sure why my mom didn't continue her childhood tradition but she did not for my older sibling sand myself.
So when I started my family I decided to bring my mom's St. Nick's day tradition to my yearly holiday family traditions. I modified it a bit. I wanted to make it something my kids would remember...so "St. Nick" would leave candy, fruit and a christmas tree ornament in my kids shoes or slippers. My hope was to give my kids something they would have in the future and give them a good memory from their childhood, like my mom had-thus the reason for the ornaments. I've never been on the receiving end of St. Nicholas day I've only delivered the gifts and I hope that those who have received my St. Nick day gifts have enjoyed them and it has created special memories! I love doing it!
Some years St. Nick's day would creep up on me and I'd scramble to get his trinkets in their shoes. As the kids have grown up and moved away St. Nick often put's his gifts in with mailed Christmas presents or is delivered at Christmas time with the rest of the presents! Regardless, if I've forgotten a St. Nick's day it was purely because I was too busy and/or spaced it off ( I do think maybe he delivered late a time or two!)!! But my hope was to make a memory for my kids, give them something that each year as adults when they take out their christmas tree ornaments they'd remember the day and the simple gifts of St. Nick, plus it gave them all a basis for their own Christmas trees as grownups. I tried to do a theme with the kids ornament, Ryan would often get fishing, Cubs or sports ornaments while Ashlyn would have dancing, angels or crystals themed decorations and Ranen would find sports, nut crackers or Yankees ornaments in his shoes. I've since added significant others, now spouses to this tradition. The St. Nick gifts now are an ornament each, and a bag of candy for the couple to share. My goal with the ornaments is to try to find something that represents a happy and good memory for each.
So on this day of giving, before the holiday rush gets too wild and crazy my hope is that we remember the small, simple, thoughtful gifts that we get in life, not just today but everyday all throughout the year and appreciate the spirit in which they are given. A happy and blessed St. Nicholas day to all.
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Pj's kind of day
Have you ever just hung out, not showered, not change from what you wore to bed and just been a bum?
This was my Sunday. I literally finally showered at 5:30 p.m. and I finally got out of my pajama's and put on real clothes! Yes, you could call me a bum. But honestly I did accomplish some things. I washed my face and brushed my teeth so the day was not without some personal hygiene!
And I worked on some Christmas gifts. Did a little decorating. I did some cleaning and laundry was also in there. I also put supper in the crock pot at 8 a.m. this morning so it was an easy meal this evening-thank goodness.
I drank coffee, snacked (a little), skipped lunch and took a short nap. It was a much needed break from life. I think I needed it. Okay, I really needed it-Big time.
Yes there are things that I wanted to get done and had on my "to-do" list. And yes I feel a bit guilty about not getting some stuff done. But for every time I start to feel guilty about what I didn't do I reminded myself that I needed to do this mentally and physically for my own good.
We all need these kinds of days that are a break from life. Unfortunately as an adult female and unless you live alone having a day completely without work and commitment is not a reality. Life may take a backseat on occasion, but the work of life, laundry, cook. clean, get ready for life all continue to sneak into these kinds of days off unless you are totally away from home.
But regardless of what I did and did not do today it was nice to relax and to recharge my batteries so to speak. I did some things I wanted to do and I did some things I had to do. It's life.
Here's to a batteries are recharged kind of week that is a good one for all. Remember the reason for the season but don't get so caught up in life to take care of yourself. Life is too short.
This was my Sunday. I literally finally showered at 5:30 p.m. and I finally got out of my pajama's and put on real clothes! Yes, you could call me a bum. But honestly I did accomplish some things. I washed my face and brushed my teeth so the day was not without some personal hygiene!
And I worked on some Christmas gifts. Did a little decorating. I did some cleaning and laundry was also in there. I also put supper in the crock pot at 8 a.m. this morning so it was an easy meal this evening-thank goodness.
I drank coffee, snacked (a little), skipped lunch and took a short nap. It was a much needed break from life. I think I needed it. Okay, I really needed it-Big time.
Yes there are things that I wanted to get done and had on my "to-do" list. And yes I feel a bit guilty about not getting some stuff done. But for every time I start to feel guilty about what I didn't do I reminded myself that I needed to do this mentally and physically for my own good.
We all need these kinds of days that are a break from life. Unfortunately as an adult female and unless you live alone having a day completely without work and commitment is not a reality. Life may take a backseat on occasion, but the work of life, laundry, cook. clean, get ready for life all continue to sneak into these kinds of days off unless you are totally away from home.
But regardless of what I did and did not do today it was nice to relax and to recharge my batteries so to speak. I did some things I wanted to do and I did some things I had to do. It's life.
Here's to a batteries are recharged kind of week that is a good one for all. Remember the reason for the season but don't get so caught up in life to take care of yourself. Life is too short.
Saturday, November 5, 2016
Who's your favorite team?
Now that the Chicago Cubs have won the World Series this has me thinking....when people pledge allegiance to a favorite team what or why is that team your favorite? What prompted you to choose this team or sport as your favorite? There are a million different answers I'm sure.
I love the Yankees! And honestly I can trace it back to when I was a kid. My cousins from New York would visit Iowa and I developed a fascination with the city and all that I'd heard them talk about and read. So on my first visit to New York, I was impressed to say the least by the city that never sleeps. But I was just a small town Iowa farm girl, it didn't take much. All the sights and sounds, tastes and experiences on my first visit was wonderful. And one of the views on that first trip was the old Yankee stadium. Between the influence of my cousins and seeing the stadium I became a fan. After returning from that trip to NYC that summer I found I could pick up Yankee games on my radio in my bedroom or a battery operated transistor (a hand-me-down from my sisters which had really great reception). I'm not sure what radio station I was picking up the games on, I could also pick up a Chicago radio station and Cubs games on that old transistor, but none-the less I would stay up late at night during the summers listening to games either in my bedroom or outside on the back step.
My favorite players of those early games were Bucky Dent or Reggie Jackson. Thurman Munson earned me some respect from the male gender from a teacher as well as classmates back in my junior year of high school while playing current events trivia in an economics class. The questions were worth 20-points for your team if you answered it on your own and 10-points if you answered it correctly with help from your teammates. I got the question asking who was the NY Yankee who was killed while practice landing his airplane in 1979. I took the question on my own and my answer of "Thurman Munson" earned my team 20-points. I think every male in the room, as well as the females were shocked when I knew the answer. Even back then I had a thing for sports, especially the NY Yankees, and this was back in the day before internet. Everything I knew about current events I read from our daily paper or heard on the radio which was usually on in our household.
So now that the Cubs have ended a 108-year drought with this World Series win, it has me thinking, what makes someone a fan of a certain team? My answer is my relative connection to the city of New York. I great up with a dad who was a BIG Iowa Hawkeye fan. I too am a fan, as well as a UNI Panther fan (both Iowa City and Cedar Falls were equal distance from my home). But we cheered for all the state universities, but Iowa was always the top pick.
I know my kids were influenced by their parents as to who their favorite baseball team is. Yes I dressed my kids in Cubs gear from the time they were babies on. Chicago Cubs clothing is easy to find in the midwest, New York Yankees, not so much. But we are a house divided. One son is an avid Cubs fan. He was supposed to be named after Chicago Cubs shortstop RYNE Sandberg. But in a moment of stupidity after 48+hours of labor (I'm going to blame it on exhaustion here) I insisted his name be RYAN not RYNE...and my reasoning "everyone would get his name wrong and he'd be called Ryan even if we did name him Ryne". I still wish we would have went with Ryne. But I love the name Ryan as well.
My other son is influenced by his mom-he obviously has great taste! And I'm not sure what swayed him to follow in his mom's footsteps? He is my cohort in baseball allegiance to the Yankees. It might be because we share the same birth date, or that he has taste or maybe he got tired of the whining and complaining and loosing the Cubs fans had. While us Yankees fans take World Series appearances and wins in stride.
And child number two, well she also went to the lovable losers, the Cubs, side of the house. Although for a while she would swing her allegiance back and forth between teams. I'm betting she finally went the Cubs direction because she is a daddy's girl and the love of her life is a diehard Cubs fan too helped seal the deal. So the deciding vote in my house swayed the majority to the Cubs. And that's okay. I will cheer for the Cubs but my heart belongs to the Yankees. There have been days or seasons where I have hated the Cubs with a passion. It's not personal but because of the pity card, the constant complaining, whining, bitching and moaning gets damn old...BIG TIME, pitch after pitch, out after out, inning after inning, game after game...all....season....long. And some people lose the perspective of the fact that this is just a game. It is a past time, just entertainment. The world is not going to end if the Cubs blow this lead or the Yankees don't make post-season play. Life goes on.
So it is always interesting to ask or listen or hear why someone is a fan of a certain team, be it a professional sports team of some kind, a college team or a high school team or little league team,(usually the last two of those is due to location or relatives playing). Some people are fans for some pretty lame reasons...but it is what it is, we are not judging here. You don't have to have a reason either. I'm sure some people are fans because of the team's colors or mascots. I have cheered for the Oregon Ducks purely for the fact that who doesn't like a duck (they are harmless, kind of cute fowl and they taste good at Christmas with sweet dressing!) and their colors are a cool dark green and gold, it looks pretty sweet!! I know lame (duck, haha!!) but hey who doesn't want someone cheering for them? We all needs fans!!
So regardless of why you choose who you do as a favorite team enjoy the ups and downs along with the good with the bad when it comes to your team. (I happened to love pinstripes, navy and gray and Derek Jeter helped the cause along the way as well over the years!) Be a good, positive fan and just enjoy. It's not a matter of life or death or world peace...it is after all, just a game.
I love the Yankees! And honestly I can trace it back to when I was a kid. My cousins from New York would visit Iowa and I developed a fascination with the city and all that I'd heard them talk about and read. So on my first visit to New York, I was impressed to say the least by the city that never sleeps. But I was just a small town Iowa farm girl, it didn't take much. All the sights and sounds, tastes and experiences on my first visit was wonderful. And one of the views on that first trip was the old Yankee stadium. Between the influence of my cousins and seeing the stadium I became a fan. After returning from that trip to NYC that summer I found I could pick up Yankee games on my radio in my bedroom or a battery operated transistor (a hand-me-down from my sisters which had really great reception). I'm not sure what radio station I was picking up the games on, I could also pick up a Chicago radio station and Cubs games on that old transistor, but none-the less I would stay up late at night during the summers listening to games either in my bedroom or outside on the back step.
My favorite players of those early games were Bucky Dent or Reggie Jackson. Thurman Munson earned me some respect from the male gender from a teacher as well as classmates back in my junior year of high school while playing current events trivia in an economics class. The questions were worth 20-points for your team if you answered it on your own and 10-points if you answered it correctly with help from your teammates. I got the question asking who was the NY Yankee who was killed while practice landing his airplane in 1979. I took the question on my own and my answer of "Thurman Munson" earned my team 20-points. I think every male in the room, as well as the females were shocked when I knew the answer. Even back then I had a thing for sports, especially the NY Yankees, and this was back in the day before internet. Everything I knew about current events I read from our daily paper or heard on the radio which was usually on in our household.
So now that the Cubs have ended a 108-year drought with this World Series win, it has me thinking, what makes someone a fan of a certain team? My answer is my relative connection to the city of New York. I great up with a dad who was a BIG Iowa Hawkeye fan. I too am a fan, as well as a UNI Panther fan (both Iowa City and Cedar Falls were equal distance from my home). But we cheered for all the state universities, but Iowa was always the top pick.
I know my kids were influenced by their parents as to who their favorite baseball team is. Yes I dressed my kids in Cubs gear from the time they were babies on. Chicago Cubs clothing is easy to find in the midwest, New York Yankees, not so much. But we are a house divided. One son is an avid Cubs fan. He was supposed to be named after Chicago Cubs shortstop RYNE Sandberg. But in a moment of stupidity after 48+hours of labor (I'm going to blame it on exhaustion here) I insisted his name be RYAN not RYNE...and my reasoning "everyone would get his name wrong and he'd be called Ryan even if we did name him Ryne". I still wish we would have went with Ryne. But I love the name Ryan as well.
My other son is influenced by his mom-he obviously has great taste! And I'm not sure what swayed him to follow in his mom's footsteps? He is my cohort in baseball allegiance to the Yankees. It might be because we share the same birth date, or that he has taste or maybe he got tired of the whining and complaining and loosing the Cubs fans had. While us Yankees fans take World Series appearances and wins in stride.
And child number two, well she also went to the lovable losers, the Cubs, side of the house. Although for a while she would swing her allegiance back and forth between teams. I'm betting she finally went the Cubs direction because she is a daddy's girl and the love of her life is a diehard Cubs fan too helped seal the deal. So the deciding vote in my house swayed the majority to the Cubs. And that's okay. I will cheer for the Cubs but my heart belongs to the Yankees. There have been days or seasons where I have hated the Cubs with a passion. It's not personal but because of the pity card, the constant complaining, whining, bitching and moaning gets damn old...BIG TIME, pitch after pitch, out after out, inning after inning, game after game...all....season....long. And some people lose the perspective of the fact that this is just a game. It is a past time, just entertainment. The world is not going to end if the Cubs blow this lead or the Yankees don't make post-season play. Life goes on.
So it is always interesting to ask or listen or hear why someone is a fan of a certain team, be it a professional sports team of some kind, a college team or a high school team or little league team,(usually the last two of those is due to location or relatives playing). Some people are fans for some pretty lame reasons...but it is what it is, we are not judging here. You don't have to have a reason either. I'm sure some people are fans because of the team's colors or mascots. I have cheered for the Oregon Ducks purely for the fact that who doesn't like a duck (they are harmless, kind of cute fowl and they taste good at Christmas with sweet dressing!) and their colors are a cool dark green and gold, it looks pretty sweet!! I know lame (duck, haha!!) but hey who doesn't want someone cheering for them? We all needs fans!!
So regardless of why you choose who you do as a favorite team enjoy the ups and downs along with the good with the bad when it comes to your team. (I happened to love pinstripes, navy and gray and Derek Jeter helped the cause along the way as well over the years!) Be a good, positive fan and just enjoy. It's not a matter of life or death or world peace...it is after all, just a game.
Monday, October 31, 2016
Halloween fun!
I can take or leave halloween. It is a fun holiday but not one I've ever gotten into. I grew up with the pumpkin carving and trick or treating. But my costumes were either a store bought Cinderella (the only store bought costume I ever had) or something I'd put together. Nothing elaborate like they are now. I'm not sure I did a great job with my kids but I tried to make it fun and memorable for my kids. From little pumpkins to crayons to football players I think they had fun. We'd carve pumpkins and go trick or treating and hand out candy. It was our little family tradition.
I remember as a little kid my other brother going out trick or treating with friends and coming home with a paper grocery bag full of candy-that was a lot of candy. Considering the sweet tooth he had it was quite the haul! I don't remember having that much luck when I went out, but I remember having fun trick or treating.
This day holds other memories other than halloween and trick or treating. My dad's birthday is Nov. 1 and the story that was told is if the doctor had been able to get to the house in time he would have been a halloween baby. It was tradition back in those days to tip over or move the out houses and corn shucks. The halloween shenanigans found these items on the roads making it difficult to navigate the roadway so the doctor took longer to get to the house and my dad was born after midnight in the early morning hours of Nov. 1 instead of on Oct. 31. We always celebrated birthdays and often dad's birthday would be celebrated on Oct. 31 with my aunts and uncles in attendance. My dad would have celebrated his 97th birthday tomorrow. Dad only celebrated 81 birthdays on this earth. I still celebrate with him in some form every year. I'm told I am a lot like him, a compliment to me.
It was 25 years ago today that a massive ice and snowstorm hit this area. I had two very disappointed trick or treaters who didn't understand when Halloween was cancelled that year. Being left without power and the inability to get out because of road conditions was not fun. It was a challenging time. We finally got out and took refuge in Des Moines with a sister and brother in-law with my two small ones. It was an adventure and memorable in both good and bad ways!
I have not given out candy for the past couple of years, but I did decorate the house a little this year. I think it helps with the holiday spirit.
So this year I will spend my evening selling books at work. Not exactly how I want to spend it but it is what it is. Here's to hoping all your trick are kind and your treats are sweet!
I remember as a little kid my other brother going out trick or treating with friends and coming home with a paper grocery bag full of candy-that was a lot of candy. Considering the sweet tooth he had it was quite the haul! I don't remember having that much luck when I went out, but I remember having fun trick or treating.
This day holds other memories other than halloween and trick or treating. My dad's birthday is Nov. 1 and the story that was told is if the doctor had been able to get to the house in time he would have been a halloween baby. It was tradition back in those days to tip over or move the out houses and corn shucks. The halloween shenanigans found these items on the roads making it difficult to navigate the roadway so the doctor took longer to get to the house and my dad was born after midnight in the early morning hours of Nov. 1 instead of on Oct. 31. We always celebrated birthdays and often dad's birthday would be celebrated on Oct. 31 with my aunts and uncles in attendance. My dad would have celebrated his 97th birthday tomorrow. Dad only celebrated 81 birthdays on this earth. I still celebrate with him in some form every year. I'm told I am a lot like him, a compliment to me.
It was 25 years ago today that a massive ice and snowstorm hit this area. I had two very disappointed trick or treaters who didn't understand when Halloween was cancelled that year. Being left without power and the inability to get out because of road conditions was not fun. It was a challenging time. We finally got out and took refuge in Des Moines with a sister and brother in-law with my two small ones. It was an adventure and memorable in both good and bad ways!
I have not given out candy for the past couple of years, but I did decorate the house a little this year. I think it helps with the holiday spirit.
So this year I will spend my evening selling books at work. Not exactly how I want to spend it but it is what it is. Here's to hoping all your trick are kind and your treats are sweet!
Thursday, October 27, 2016
In a funk
Everyone has their days that they are off or in a bad mood, or things are not going like they think, plan or want. This is normal. And having off days or days in a funk is also normal.
I love to watch people and since I work with teenagers and pre-teen kids it is interesting to see and watch their behavior. You can tell a lot by how they behave and act around their friends. It is entertaining to say the least! I have one young lady on my dance squad who is a schlep (that is the only, nice way I can describe her)....she is always slopping around like she does not care...she moves at the pace of a snail, she is always complaining about not feeling good and her attitude is blah and negative. I'm not discounting that maybe she does have some health issues but her friends and teammates comment on how she can be upbeat and happy one minute and the next she feels awful and is miserable-which is more the norm for her...she is miserable to be around too. Maybe she really does have some health issues. But in the two short months I've worked with her I have to admit I read her like a book the first week of practice and could pretty much tell what she was doing. For her the cup is half empty, at best. She has poor work ethics and is always in a poor mood.
Some people make one small incident ruin their whole day. I will admit I have let this happen to me before. We all do. And I've kicked myself afterwards for wasting a day or letting some worthless individual ruin a day, when I should have just blew it off and went on my merry way. Go rain on someone else's day. I'm mad at myself for the people who I've let ruin or take the happy and fun out of my life. We only get one chance at today and no one is guaranteed tomorrow. I would not want my last day on this earth to be a crappy one because of some small negative or because of someone small and negative. I have to remind myself of this. I have to find the happy from me, not someone else or something else.
Years ago I had a really close friend. We would talk daily and our kids played together. We shared similar family values except she thought the world revolved around her kids and if things didn't go as she thought, wanted or liked, especially at school she was on a rampage. She was storming in, making phone calls, and bending the ear of anyone who would listen. It was sad because a lot of the problems were not really problems and she would make a mountain out of a mole hill in 2.2 seconds. One day she called me venting about something at school...I listened and I remember thinking she was making a big deal over nothing. I listened just to give her an ear to listen I was not offering advice nor was I going to be a cheerleader on her team for her latest issue. But I stopped listening when she made the comment that I was a lot more understanding than the previous friend she had called about this. What??? She was calling friends looking for someone to listen and be on her side. I was listening but not on her side. That day was the beginning of the end of our close friendship. We are still friends but not like we were and I'm not sure who she vented and bitched to after that day, but it wasn't me any more. It was the last time her negative Nancy behavior wasted any more of my time. I made a clear and conscience effort to close that door and be done. Life has been better without that. And I need to continue to do this for my own health and wellbeing now as well.
There is a difference between being in a funk or down and depression. I had a front row seat to depression as a teenager when my dad was dealing with it. I don't know a lot of the information from his childhood and honestly the few things I do know makes my heart sad and I understood what he was dealing with more, and the cause of his depression. It also makes me thankful that I didn't have to deal with my grandmother...and I will leave it at that. My dad had a lot of days in a funk and I have no idea how my mom dealt with that or him.
So on those funk days...like I had earlier this week (it was one of those days I'd rather work with animals or small children if that is any indication of how it was)...I try to dig myself out, pick myself up and ignore the negative and crappy people who are in my world. Things could be a lot worse. Some of the negative and crappy people in my life I have control of...I can eliminate, distance or ignore them. And others are there and I just have to deal with...it is what it is and I firmly believe God puts them in my life to remind and show me how not to be and to appreciate what I have. And I forget and get on that funk bandwagon sometimes but I eventually get myself off and out of that funk and come back to looking at life as half full.
Remember the fact that we should a) be grateful we have a glass b) that there is something in the glass and c) the glass is refillable.
Make it a glass half-full, I have a glass and I can refill it kind of day!
I love to watch people and since I work with teenagers and pre-teen kids it is interesting to see and watch their behavior. You can tell a lot by how they behave and act around their friends. It is entertaining to say the least! I have one young lady on my dance squad who is a schlep (that is the only, nice way I can describe her)....she is always slopping around like she does not care...she moves at the pace of a snail, she is always complaining about not feeling good and her attitude is blah and negative. I'm not discounting that maybe she does have some health issues but her friends and teammates comment on how she can be upbeat and happy one minute and the next she feels awful and is miserable-which is more the norm for her...she is miserable to be around too. Maybe she really does have some health issues. But in the two short months I've worked with her I have to admit I read her like a book the first week of practice and could pretty much tell what she was doing. For her the cup is half empty, at best. She has poor work ethics and is always in a poor mood.
Some people make one small incident ruin their whole day. I will admit I have let this happen to me before. We all do. And I've kicked myself afterwards for wasting a day or letting some worthless individual ruin a day, when I should have just blew it off and went on my merry way. Go rain on someone else's day. I'm mad at myself for the people who I've let ruin or take the happy and fun out of my life. We only get one chance at today and no one is guaranteed tomorrow. I would not want my last day on this earth to be a crappy one because of some small negative or because of someone small and negative. I have to remind myself of this. I have to find the happy from me, not someone else or something else.
Years ago I had a really close friend. We would talk daily and our kids played together. We shared similar family values except she thought the world revolved around her kids and if things didn't go as she thought, wanted or liked, especially at school she was on a rampage. She was storming in, making phone calls, and bending the ear of anyone who would listen. It was sad because a lot of the problems were not really problems and she would make a mountain out of a mole hill in 2.2 seconds. One day she called me venting about something at school...I listened and I remember thinking she was making a big deal over nothing. I listened just to give her an ear to listen I was not offering advice nor was I going to be a cheerleader on her team for her latest issue. But I stopped listening when she made the comment that I was a lot more understanding than the previous friend she had called about this. What??? She was calling friends looking for someone to listen and be on her side. I was listening but not on her side. That day was the beginning of the end of our close friendship. We are still friends but not like we were and I'm not sure who she vented and bitched to after that day, but it wasn't me any more. It was the last time her negative Nancy behavior wasted any more of my time. I made a clear and conscience effort to close that door and be done. Life has been better without that. And I need to continue to do this for my own health and wellbeing now as well.
There is a difference between being in a funk or down and depression. I had a front row seat to depression as a teenager when my dad was dealing with it. I don't know a lot of the information from his childhood and honestly the few things I do know makes my heart sad and I understood what he was dealing with more, and the cause of his depression. It also makes me thankful that I didn't have to deal with my grandmother...and I will leave it at that. My dad had a lot of days in a funk and I have no idea how my mom dealt with that or him.
So on those funk days...like I had earlier this week (it was one of those days I'd rather work with animals or small children if that is any indication of how it was)...I try to dig myself out, pick myself up and ignore the negative and crappy people who are in my world. Things could be a lot worse. Some of the negative and crappy people in my life I have control of...I can eliminate, distance or ignore them. And others are there and I just have to deal with...it is what it is and I firmly believe God puts them in my life to remind and show me how not to be and to appreciate what I have. And I forget and get on that funk bandwagon sometimes but I eventually get myself off and out of that funk and come back to looking at life as half full.
Remember the fact that we should a) be grateful we have a glass b) that there is something in the glass and c) the glass is refillable.
Make it a glass half-full, I have a glass and I can refill it kind of day!
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Always remember
This date always holds a special place in my heart...it was the birthday of the only woman I've ever known as grandma...Grandma Vennick. This was her birthday. All my grandparents had passed by the time I arrive on the scene. This is what happens when you are the youngest of two youngest kids, you miss out on the grandparent thing usually. Grandma Vennick was one of the sweetest woman I've ever known and I'm not sure how she ended up with some of the most ornery kids but she did! We'd always celebrate her birthday on or around Oct. 20.
But this date also holds sad and happy memories for me as well. In 1986 I was pregnant for the first time. It was my first pregnancy but I knew things were not going as they should on this date. A trip to the hospital emergency room confirmed my worse fears, my baby had died. I got to see that tiny baby at 14 weeks old. He looked tiny and perfect and that vision is still as clear in my head today as it was 30 years ago when I held him. That baby would have turned 30 this next spring. And yes as a mother the thoughts of what would that person be like, who would they look like or where would they live, what would they be doing, often runs through my mind. It is an awful feeling to loose a child whether it is before they are born or after. It is something you never forget.
But a I said this date also holds happy memories for me because it was 29 years ago today I found out that I was pregnant again. One year after loosing that first baby. What are the chances that I would find this out on this same exact date? I just wanted to get through this day, but finding out I was pregnant was a host of emotions. Ryan, a healthy baby boy was born the following June and was our rainbow baby:
A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss.In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.
Yes this was Ryan when he arrived around the same time my first baby was due. He was a blessing and reminder that life is fragile and not guaranteed. He was our hope.
My heart still misses Grandma Vennick, she was the best. And my heart is sad and misses that first baby, what would they be like? But there is happiness for this date which confirmed that there are rainbows after the storm. They are signs of hope and that things do get better.
But this date also holds sad and happy memories for me as well. In 1986 I was pregnant for the first time. It was my first pregnancy but I knew things were not going as they should on this date. A trip to the hospital emergency room confirmed my worse fears, my baby had died. I got to see that tiny baby at 14 weeks old. He looked tiny and perfect and that vision is still as clear in my head today as it was 30 years ago when I held him. That baby would have turned 30 this next spring. And yes as a mother the thoughts of what would that person be like, who would they look like or where would they live, what would they be doing, often runs through my mind. It is an awful feeling to loose a child whether it is before they are born or after. It is something you never forget.
But a I said this date also holds happy memories for me because it was 29 years ago today I found out that I was pregnant again. One year after loosing that first baby. What are the chances that I would find this out on this same exact date? I just wanted to get through this day, but finding out I was pregnant was a host of emotions. Ryan, a healthy baby boy was born the following June and was our rainbow baby:
A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss.In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.
Yes this was Ryan when he arrived around the same time my first baby was due. He was a blessing and reminder that life is fragile and not guaranteed. He was our hope.
My heart still misses Grandma Vennick, she was the best. And my heart is sad and misses that first baby, what would they be like? But there is happiness for this date which confirmed that there are rainbows after the storm. They are signs of hope and that things do get better.
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