It's not the item, it's the memory

We all have items that remind us of a memory or person. These items can bring us good, bad, happy or sad memories when we see them. They can be treasures or a piece of comfort.

I have a light blue and white Christmas top of my mom's that I've kept for the past six Christmas's. I find it a source of comfort, especially this time of year, when I am missing my mom- the Christmas memories of her wearing it and it makes me feel like she is close.  That top also still smells of my mom's perfume...Windsong. She started wearing it when I was in high school and I wore it too for a while. Smells bring back memories too.

I have a melancholy feeling towards Christmas this year. It is kind of over with already. We had a mini-Christmas back in November when everyone was home. The house is some what decorated but nothing like what I used to do. And I've been going through containers of Christmas decorations and sorting. Stuff to keep. Stuff for my kids to go through and take if they want. And stuff to just get rid of. It's time to clean out and down size. My kids can all take take their own Christmas ornaments that they made as kids in school and religious ed. Yes I will miss having those decorations on my tree but they all have their own lives, homes and trees now, they can hang, keep or toss these heirlooms if they want. What I would give to have an ornament that I made from my childhood or something from my mom or dad when they were children.

Tonight as I was hanging my dad's Iowa Hawkeye ornament on the tree it fell....and broke. My heart broke too, and the tears fell. I felt like I'd lost a piece of my dad. It's been 18 Christmas's without him. This was my Christmas connection to him, and now it sits in a dustpan, waiting to be thrown away in several pieces. I'm sad. It was purely an accident and it may have been better if it had been broken by someone else other than me-it would be easier to forgive. But nothing can be done to change it. I looked on ebay to find a replacement, but one like this wasn't available. It's gone.

I keep telling myself that it was just an ornament. It was just a reminder, memory and connection to my dad. I still have all my memories and nothing can shatter or break them. And life goes on. Tomorrow is a new day. I still have all my memories of my dad and they are mine, nothing can take that away from me.

I will continue to be a bit sad for the broken ornament. And if I ever find another one just like it I may or may not replace it but I'll keep the memories of my dad and his love of the Iowa Hawkeyes close to my heart.

Dec. 6, St. Nick's day

Yes, St. Nicholas day has rolled around again. And I just read my blog from last year. The basis for my tradition that I've done with my kids over the years and my memories and hopes for what this day represents for them.

Okay, truth time. I've battle with the issue of  if I should or should not continue the St. Nick's day tradition. I asked my daughter, who was no help, if I should continue it or if everyone had out grown and tired of  this? I've been back and forth with if I should keep doing this or just stop. And last week I decided to keep the tradition going. The problem is St. Nick doesn't have his act together this year! He's working on it but just didn't get it all pulled together. And all day long I've tried to figure out a way to let my kids and their spouses know that St. Nick was still around, just a little behind. Well here it is!

But I had a first tonight, St. Nick left me a gift. I've never been on the receiving end of St. Nicholas day. As I stated in my blog last year the St. Nick tradition came from the memories my mom shared of her childhood and how St. Nick would come to her house leaving small gift in their shoes or socks. This is where I got the idea and started the tradition in my house for my kids.

But tonight a phone call from my son Ranen who instructed me that he and his wife had left something in his closet....three gifts-from St. Nick!! This is the highlight of my week, I have no doubt. St. Nick left a candle that smells wonderful. A large deck of cards for someone else who lives under the same roof and the world's softest Peanuts blanket! Snoopy, Charlie Brown and the whole gang are wrapped around me as I type this. From the bottom of my heart-THANK YOU. This is the first St, Nick gifts I've ever gotten and I must say that Whitney and Ranen, I mean St. Nick, did a wonderful job and this is one of the biggest surprises I've had a in a long, long time. It has touched my heart.

So in the season of giving and the spirit of what St. Nicholas day is all about, I wish anyone reading this the blessings of the season and my you find the true spirit of what this time of year is all about in your heart.

Saving it for company

My parents grew up in the depression era and were savers. As I've learned over the years the saving my parents did was due to hard times during the depression that they went through. So I grew up with saving things for "good" or when company came. My parents did a lot of entertaining, from holidays to birthdays,  card parties and a weekly visit with cousins as each others house, there was always entertaining going on.

My mom loved to entertain. She had several sets of good dishes, which ranged from her wedding china to at least two other sets of china and later in life Christmas dishes which was something my mom always wanted. Mom and dad got each of use kids the same set of Christmas dishes as gifts for the holidays. My mom always considered having made it when they could afford the holiday dishes.

So I am reminded of my mom weekly, if not daily around my own home. I have several of her saved for company bathroom towels that I now use daily or weekly. They are pretty, but now being put to good use and are a happy reminder of my mom and growing up. Mom would never burn candles except for on those special occasions when they entertained. I vividly remember a holiday, I'm not sure which one, that I lit a set of good candles and for a brief moment my mom was a bit taken aback but smiled and made a comment along the lines that we just as well use them-a rare occasion (I was such a rebel!). My mom would put out towels on the towel racks that were only for show and never used (until they ended up in my house). And there were the towels that were only used by company. The towels we used were sometimes very ragged, towels that were wearing thin, but they still did the job, we didn't care or notice-we just used it until it wore out and had served it's purpose. I don't have company towels at my house, we use all the towels in the closet or on the self.

I have an every day set of dishes that are used every day. And I have a set of china that has hardly been used over the last 10+ years. They were a must on the insistence of my mother in-law when I got married and I received china pieces for many birthday and Christmas presents after my wedding day. Those dishes are nice, I like them. But they are too much work to use. No one really notices what you eat off of as long as it is clean and we've taken to using disposal dishes and flatware since my mother in-law has passed away. Life is too short to spend so much time doing dishes and worrying about breaking something. And someday they will be passed on to who ever wants them hardly used.

So today as I put out a new hand towel in my bathroom I was again reminded of my mom. It was one of her company towels I hung up, it gets used weekly now. I remember how proud she was of how nice her house looked when my parents entertained. But as I am now using her towels I'm reminded that every day is special and using the good towels, burning the candles or maybe breaking out the good china is okay to do any day of the week for absolutely no reason. Why save it for someone else to use? Times have changed and today we live in a disposable world where if people get tired of something they get rid of it regardless if it is still usable and in good condition.

If you come to my house to visit you won't get "good" towels, you'll get the towels that we use everyday. The candles have been burned and all I can guarantee is whatever you are eating off of is it will be clean regardless if it is china, everyday dishes or paper plates, it just has to serve the purpose! I don't want someone else using what I saved. Life is meant to be lived and used up. Use up what you've been given and make the most of it.