Too busy

In this day and age of technology people seem to be too busy all the time. Oh sure they take time to do the things they enjoy. To go to sporting events or a concert or go out to eat. But being too busy seems to be an excuse for everything any more.

I like to keep busy. Yes I have a hard time sitting still. For me to sit and do nothing is extremely hard to do. I love to read. I'm not a big television watcher. But reading either a book or on a device can pass my time quite easily. I will never understand those who can sit for hours glued to the television. I honestly believe it turns your mind to mush. And if you think about it unless you are watching the news or a documentary about history what you are watching is junk....television shows are made up stories. Yes it's great to laugh and be entertained or trying to figure out a mystery. Sports is entertaining but once the game is over life goes on. A lot of people forget that. They get upset or worked up about the outcome or if a call was not how they thought it should be in a sporting event they are watching on tv, or if a television program does not go as they think or expected or thought. But its not real life. And yes we all need a break from reality, to have entertainment but hour after hour of sitting in front of a tv or computer watching crap to me is an utter waste of time, of life. You're not too busy you just don't want to deal with life and reality.

I went to a movie last night with a friend. It was a movie from a book I read about animals, dogs in particular and their purpose. The movie made me laugh and cry. It was entertaining and it had me thinking as I drove home about our purpose. I called a friend to just say hi and see how their day went as I drove home. I hung up from the conversation wondering why I'd called? It had no purpose and left me feeling kind of sad. I mainly wanted that person to know I cared and was thinking about them, but when I hung up I felt my call didn't matter.

It seems that we are all too busy to call or text just to say hi and ask how someone is and really mean it when we ask "how are you"? Often times I wonder if it is an automatic question and if we really don't hear the response. Or we just reply with an automatic answer. Or in plain truth are "too busy" to reply which seems to be the case more and more with people in my life that I deal with.

I have been in those groups or situations where I've said something or asked something and no one replies....talk about making someone feel insignificant. BIG TIME. So when someone in a group says something I always try to reply or acknowledge that person and that they said something. The same goes for emails and texting. I always try to reply...I want them to know I care and I acknowledge them they are a value to me. But I'm finding less and less people are doing this and honestly I've about had it. If people can't take 5-10 seconds out of their "busy" day to reply then I guess I'm not important to them nor do I matter. What goes around comes around.

I'm the person who will talk to the custodial staff the same as a school board member, I will take the time, I will talk to you about the weather or ask how your family is. Every one deserves this we all come into this world with nothing and leave with nothing. No one is more important nor am I too busy to talk to them.

So if someone tells me they are "too busy" to reply to my call or email or text ya' know what I say, BULL! No one is that busy, plain and simple your too busy for ME! There's the cold hard truth. Ya' I understand life is busy, but life is never too busy to acknowledge someone, reply, and sometimes it make take a bit. But I believe every deserves to be acknowledged and answered or just to be told I care and I'm thinking of you...no one is too busy for that.

You're only as busy as you want to be and if you are too busy for someone then maybe someday they will be too busy for you...

More than today

I have never been a fan of valentines day. I was not very good at making or creating or decorating valentines boxes, my elementary school years are a testament to that and probably my kid's too! And my cookie decorating skills, well they lack as well. And writing all those valentines, to me as a kid, were a pain in the butt, especially when you have 28 or 30+ kids in your class. I'm still not a fan and I honestly can't explain why other than it has always been highly over-rated.

I honestly feel like you should tell the people you love and who mean a lot to you that you love them every single day and/or every chance you get and this ranges from saying it to showing it, it's all the same difference and one day should not make a difference or be the only reason why.

I don't have a favorite valentines day memory and as an adult you want to know my favorite part of Valentines day?? February 15, when the the candy is half priced!!! I mean that, honestly.

My dad always brought my mom candy or flowers for no reason all year long for as long as he was able and as far back as I can remember. My mom was not a big candy or chocolate fan and I honestly think he did it for his sweet tooth more than anything but mom loved it anyway. But every time he went to town he would bring home candy for mom, sometimes he'd have flowers for her too, but always a bag or box of candy. Mom always had flowers in the garden or on the rose bushes during the summer, so she never lacked for flowers. I love the story of Valentines day the one year my dad bought my mom the usual beautiful heart-shaped box with yellow artificial flowers on it and filled with candy, or so he thought, until my mom opened the box and it was empty, just weighted down. It was the window display box (so it wouldn't melt) and my dad was not happy. My mom laughed and I remember her laughing and teasing my dad every time he got her candy in a box after that! My dad eventually saw the humor in the mix up but he was not happy when it originally happened. That was the difference in my parents, my mom always found humor, my dad was more serious. That memory makes me smile and is a reminder of how much my parents loved each other.

I still have the cards my kids made and brought home from school for valentines days over their school years. They are treasured, and they always will be. For a while my valentines days consisted of getting flowers which I would eventually have to go pay for....not a good thing to do guys-just a piece of advice here. I would honestly rather get flowers the 14th of July or the 21 of December, for absolutely no reason, other than someone who loves or cares about you is thinking about you. No rhyme or reason.

So regardless if you are sending a dozen roses, a text/email, card or a care package filled with a favorite candy just do it and don't just do it on Feb. 14, but any single day of the year is a great time to do these things. I see and hear of more people unhappy and hurt this day than any other day of the year.  Tell the same people you are telling and showing how much you love them today the same today and the other 364 days of the year.

Apparently God thinks I can handle all of this

There is nothing wrong with routine and quiet. I'll be the first to admit that. Quiet is good!

But looking back, and now once again, I've got a who load of stuff coming at me, and honestly I'm not so sure I can handle or cope. I'm tired and I just want things to settle down.

Five years ago my mom was failing and I was dealing with health issues. A month to the day after she passed away I had major surgery, and it knocked me on my butt. I dealt, survived, healed in several ways and lived.

As a kid in high school I had to grow up quickly due to illness with one of my parents. I'd always helped on the farm but I went from helping when needed to helping run the show, in this case the family farm. It was an overnight education into adulthood. Making adult decisions as a 15 or 17-year old is a bit scary. But I lived, I learned and life went on.

As a parent I watched my parents make decisions about their children as parents, meaning they did it together, I on the other had did a lot of parent decision making alone. And I did the best I could without being a pain in the butt parent. I tried, is all I can say. Life went on and I don't think I scarred my kids too badly.

It was thrilling to have all three of my kids get engaged within a three month time span. And a bit chaotic to have them all get married in less than five months. But it was fun, I lived and life was finally supposed to be settling down after the last wedding less than a month ago. But NOOOOOOO. Someone just has to throw another life changing event into my world. A major life changing event. I just want dull, routine, quiet and settled. But that's not the case once again. I never thought life would be a continuation of one major life event after another. I don't see other people having to go through or deal with this. Or maybe I just don't see it.

Do I have feelings regarding this potential change-you're damn right. I don't like the constant change. I don't like the feelings, I don't like the lack of thought beyond the moment nor do I want to be that person who stands up and says loud and clear, "NO".  I"m trying to look at this from all sides other than from one angle which seems to be the case from the individual who is bringing this to my table.

And I keep putting all of this in God's hands. And then I take it away and make it all my problem trying to handle it alone, trying to come up with a million different scenarios or ways to deal with or options. And why does God keep doing this to me...well I guess he must think I can handle it, but honestly I'm doubting my capabilities and sanity a lot, plus I'm tired and I just want things to settle down for a while. I just want a quiet routine, not my whole world turned upside down and I'm working my butt off because of someone else's choice. So God, I know because I tell myself this about a million times a day lately, must think I can handle all of this and I have to tell myself that I can handle anything that HE and I can handle together. I keep praying for peace and answers...come on God, I'm waiting.

When life derails you

Life happens. And for all good intentions what you have planned does not always go as planned. My 2017 plans to be a better person for me got derailed when on the first week of this new year I came down with the knock down drag out stomach flu. I will spare you the unpleasant details but it wasn't pretty. It took me 3 days to drink a small gatorade and eat a couple of saltine crackers. Water was the main part of my diet for a few days. I tried to eat...but I paid for it after eating for many days after this bug hit as well as for weeks following. I can finally eat without after meal pain. I just can't eat a lot yet. My energy levels are not where they were and my blood sugar levels are still out of whack.

My goals for this year was to make more and better healthy choices and eliminate some food groups out of my diet for a variety of health reasons. Well sugar free and gluten free have not happened and here we are Feb. 1, one month into the new year. After getting hit on Jan. 3 with that nasty bug my health, lifestyle and energy has been compromised. Working out has been a challenge to say the least-I lack energy, big time. And yes it has put me in a foul and bad mood at times. Yes I'm tired and some evenings I fight to keep going despite the fact that it is only 7:30 or 8:30 at night. I know I will be awake at 3 a.m. if I fall asleep too early. I try to keep going, get things done, get my steps in and plug away. Someday's I do it, other days, not so much.

Lack of sunshine and poor moral at work or by those around me has not helped either. And I've continued to plug way, going through the motions, showing up, doing what I have to and getting out. Not a good way to live life.

The one highlight I had was my son's wedding. I put the residual affects of the flu aside and had fun, made memories, relaxed and enjoyed.

I've tried to remember that there are people, probably some very close around me, who would give anything to even have one of my bad days....let that soak in. Lack of sunshine, the flu or the behavior of others is small potatoes compared to what some people are dealing with. I can deal with and need to get to a better place, PLUS learn to be patient with myself, something I lack a great deal.

So with the start of this new month, I'm going to pretend it is Jan. 1 rather than Feb. 1 and start again with my mission. And that is to continue to be more physically active, to eat healthier, make better food choices, eliminate the negative and do more of what makes ME happy and stop trying to please everyone else. Oh, and say NO when I want to and not feel guilty about it. It's a new day, new month and still a new year. So what if there are only 11 months left, it's better than nothing. It's time to kick some butt, and move forward, because NO ONE is guaranteed to be here at the end of the day, week, month or year. Make today count, even if its a small step. So there life, take that!