Trying to understand

Loosing a loved one or a dear friend or community leader is heart breaking. But when a small town is hit hard two times with three senseless, heart breaking deaths in 24 hours, well we do not have an explanations or logic. Why? That phrase has ran through my mind a million times over the past 48 hours. Why?

They say a parent should never have to bury a child, it is not the order life should go in. And still it happens. I watched it happen with my own father and mother in-law when they had to bury their adult son. Heartbreaking is an understatement.

And today our community mourns the loss of two young people, we are in stunned disbelief. Again heartbreaking is an understatement. As a mother all I can think about is the devastating heartache not only the mother of these two boys but the dad as well, are feeling and will continue to feel all the days of their lives. It is beyond comprehensible. And regardless if your child is 14-years old or 10-years old and dies in a bad auto accident or is 25-years old and is gunned down while in the line of duty as a police officer....burying a child as a parent should not happen. But in reality it does.

We are told to put our faith in God. It is all part of God's plan. I remember my mom saying she was always kind of envious of those who died before her or were young when they passed away. She always said their work here on earth was done. They could go home and be with God in heaven. Some people get there sooner than others, other people have a lot more work and take longer to reach that goal. This was my mom's simple answer to death and life...one I've tried to keep and believe. But right now it's hard, very hard to accept this.

We are not supposed to question God's plan. But we do, when we loose faith and we can't see the light or the reason why.

I know as a mother I would give my life for any of my children, without a second thought. This is what unconditional love as a parent is. I have felt this way since the moment I found out I was pregnant with all of my kids.

I pray and try to put my fears and worries in God's hands every day as all of my kids and their spouses get into vehicles to travel to and from to work every single day. I worry and pray, God keep them safe. I don't always remember that regardless of my prayers it is truly in God's hands and he already has a plan, regardless of my prayers and useless worrying. God's plan...we struggle with this daily. Accepting it. Remembering it. And putting faith in it.

So as cruel and heartbreaking this all is for my little community remember to love one another, be kind and it's not all about one person or family but about all of us because no is is promised tomorrow.

Time will help with the pain but they will always be in our heart.