I borrowed this but so true

My children ask me each year the same question. After thinking about it, I'm deciding to give them my real answer:

What do I want for Christmas or my Birthdays? I want you. I want you to keep coming around, I want you to bring your kids around, I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. I want you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever. Tell me about your job, your worries, your significant other, your kids, and your pets that I hope you have. I want you to continue sharing your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me, I don't care. Hearing you laugh is music to me.

I spent the better part of my life raising you the best way I knew how, and I'm not bragging, but I did a pretty good job, no matter how chaotic it looked (or felt) sometimes. Now, give me time to sit back and admire my work, I'm pretty proud of it.

Raid my refrigerator, help yourself, I really don't mind. In fact, I wouldn't want it any other way.

I want you to spend your money making a better life for you and your family. I have the things I need. I want to see you happy and healthy. 

When you ask me what I want for Christmas, the real truth is that I want you to spend time with me.

FYI -I didn't draft this up but copied and pasted because I thought it was AWESOME. It's exactly how I feel.

Trying to understand

Loosing a loved one or a dear friend or community leader is heart breaking. But when a small town is hit hard two times with three senseless, heart breaking deaths in 24 hours, well we do not have an explanations or logic. Why? That phrase has ran through my mind a million times over the past 48 hours. Why?

They say a parent should never have to bury a child, it is not the order life should go in. And still it happens. I watched it happen with my own father and mother in-law when they had to bury their adult son. Heartbreaking is an understatement.

And today our community mourns the loss of two young people, we are in stunned disbelief. Again heartbreaking is an understatement. As a mother all I can think about is the devastating heartache not only the mother of these two boys but the dad as well, are feeling and will continue to feel all the days of their lives. It is beyond comprehensible. And regardless if your child is 14-years old or 10-years old and dies in a bad auto accident or is 25-years old and is gunned down while in the line of duty as a police officer....burying a child as a parent should not happen. But in reality it does.

We are told to put our faith in God. It is all part of God's plan. I remember my mom saying she was always kind of envious of those who died before her or were young when they passed away. She always said their work here on earth was done. They could go home and be with God in heaven. Some people get there sooner than others, other people have a lot more work and take longer to reach that goal. This was my mom's simple answer to death and life...one I've tried to keep and believe. But right now it's hard, very hard to accept this.

We are not supposed to question God's plan. But we do, when we loose faith and we can't see the light or the reason why.

I know as a mother I would give my life for any of my children, without a second thought. This is what unconditional love as a parent is. I have felt this way since the moment I found out I was pregnant with all of my kids.

I pray and try to put my fears and worries in God's hands every day as all of my kids and their spouses get into vehicles to travel to and from to work every single day. I worry and pray, God keep them safe. I don't always remember that regardless of my prayers it is truly in God's hands and he already has a plan, regardless of my prayers and useless worrying. God's plan...we struggle with this daily. Accepting it. Remembering it. And putting faith in it.

So as cruel and heartbreaking this all is for my little community remember to love one another, be kind and it's not all about one person or family but about all of us because no is is promised tomorrow.

Time will help with the pain but they will always be in our heart.

My favorite Christmas song

It's that time of year...Christmas music abounds. And if you hate it, I'm sorry. But if you love it then this time of year is all yours.

I do agree there is a fine line between too early but usually, for me anyway, Christmas music makes me feel good and brings happy memories. So I will listen to it before Thanksgiving in moderation but for the most part I'm ready for the carols after turkey day. (and if my iTunes starts to play a holiday song any other time of year because its on my playlist I shut it down.)

But choosing a favorite, well that's a whole other thing, but here I go! White Christmas by Bing Crosby makes me nostalgic and brings me happy but sad memories. The movie White Christmas was one of my mom's most favorite movies. She and I would stay up late to watch it when I was a kid as it was usually shown on Saturday nights as the late movie starting at 10:30. To this day my mom is the one person who comes to mind when I hear that version of the holiday favorite.

My favorite song to sing along to is Hey Santa, and I'm not sure who sings it, but I love to listen to it and it just makes me wanna sing along. No reasons here, just does.

The song that brings me the most peace at this time of year is Silent Night and it really does not matter who sings it, as long as it is done the way it is meant to be done then I'm good with it.

No judging here! At least two of these songs are my favorites because of my childhood and probably my mom is the biggest influence for them. I just know they make me happy!

The worse...well I've got a couple, Grandma got run over by a reindeer-not sure who sings that one, too hillbilly and corny. And the all time worse Christmas song for me-Christmas in Iowa by a girl/sister group from Iowa or Nebraska...it sours my holiday spirit on the first note!!!

Remember to keep a song in your heart!!

The best Christmas ever

What has been your best Christmas ever? I'm looking at this from a childhood perspective today.

As a kid I often was left on my own, meaning I had no one near my age to play with or hang out with. This was okay. It taught me how to be independent and I learned how to entertain myself. I also remember hearing my older siblings, mainly my sisters and mostly my second sister, comment a lot about how spoiled it was. It is what it is. I never compared myself to them or what I saw they had at my age from old family photos. So one of my most memorable Christmas's was the year I made a "haul" as a kid. I got a baby doll, a life like tall/big doll (my kids will remember this one as the doll they named Abby Donna), a kitchen set complete with a sink, stove, refrigerator, washer and dryer and.....wait for it ....a kid size ironing board and toy iron!!! YES!!! This was like dying and going to kid heaven for me. I don't recall how old I was nor if I asked for any of this. And I look back on the pictures and think wow I got a lot that year! I'm sure it was because I was soooo good!!! No comments from the peanut galley please! But I did make a haul that year. Plus my god mother, who was a wonderful seamstress, made me a ton of clothes for my big doll including a coat and matching hat and a wedding dress, pajamas and a red velvet dress-she did beautiful work. I remember being thrill with everything and I know I spent hours playing with all of these items. I had played with a lot of my sisters hand-me-downs over the years, which I was fine with. You can't miss what you've never had. But looking back that was quite the Christmas for this kid!

I enjoyed, played with and took care of my toys. My older brother always took my toys apart and could never get them back the way they were originally so I wasn't always so good at sharing after I learned that lesson the hard way in regard to the head of one of my dolls... I also had a niece, just seven years my younger and she wanted for nothing. She would often get so much for Christmas that she couldn't remember it all when they would call on Christmas day...a problem that often made this little girl jealous and at times or confused. Who needed that much stuff? And she would have the top of the line when it came to toys, clothes and such. You have to remember that I was a little uniform wearing, Catholic school kid so my wardrobe was limited to uniforms, a church or good outfit or two and play/work clothes (jeans, shorts, t-shirt and sweatshirts) which was typical farm attire. I was never neglected by any means but an over abundance always left me bewildered, lets just put it that way. And I loved playing with my nieces toys!

But that Christmas that I hit the jackpot is a fun and fond memory and I'm still not sure why I got all of that? I just know I played with and enjoyed it all and I still have some of it!


But honestly to this day what I remember more than any of the Christmas presents I ever got that year or any other year, is the traditions we had. From when and where and how we decorated the Christmas tree, to the food,  home made cookies and candy and oyster soup or grasshopper drinks (my mom's favorite), how Santa delivered the gifts to going to midnight mass as a family and the peacefulness and beauty of the season. Fond memories abound for me and I am thankful I had parents who believe in keeping traditions and if they realized that or not but how important those traditions are in my childhood and adult life today.

St. Nicholas Day!

Dec. 6-St. Nicholas day! I remember growing up and hearing my mom talk about St Nicholas day. She always spoke fondly of the memories she had as a child and when St. Nicholas would come to visit. She was a kid of the 1930's so she grew up in much simpler times and in the depression era. She told me about St. Nick leaving small treats in their shoes, fresh oranges (fresh fruit this time of year back then was limited), a big chief writing pad and a peppermint stick (candy cane) and other trinkets which were a treat back in those days. These memories mom would share always put a smile on her face and I loved hearing them.

St. Nick never came to our house when I was a kid. I'm not sure why my mom didn't continue her childhood tradition but she did not for my older sibling sand myself.

So when I started my family I decided to bring my mom's St. Nick's day tradition to my yearly holiday family traditions. I modified it a bit. I wanted to make it something my kids would remember...so "St. Nick" would leave candy, fruit and a christmas tree ornament in my kids shoes or slippers. My hope was to give my kids something they would have in the future and give them a good memory from their childhood, like my mom had-thus the reason for the ornaments. I've never been on the receiving end of St. Nicholas day I've only delivered the gifts and I hope that those who have received my St. Nick day gifts have enjoyed them and it has created special memories! I love doing it!

Some years St. Nick's day would creep up on me and I'd scramble to get his trinkets in their shoes. As the kids have grown up and moved away St. Nick often put's his gifts in with mailed Christmas presents or is delivered at Christmas time with the rest of the presents! Regardless, if I've forgotten a St. Nick's day it was purely because I was too busy and/or spaced it off ( I do think maybe he delivered late a time or two!)!! But my hope was to make a memory for my kids, give them something that each year as adults when they take out their christmas tree ornaments they'd remember the day and the simple gifts of St. Nick, plus it gave them all a basis for their own Christmas trees as grownups. I tried to do a theme with the kids ornament,  Ryan would often get fishing, Cubs or sports ornaments while Ashlyn would have dancing, angels or crystals themed decorations and Ranen would find sports, nut crackers or Yankees ornaments in his shoes. I've since added significant others, now spouses to this tradition. The St. Nick gifts now are an ornament each, and a bag of candy for the couple to share. My goal with the ornaments is to try to find something that represents a happy and good memory for each.

So on this day of giving, before the holiday rush gets too wild and crazy my hope is that we remember the small, simple, thoughtful gifts that we get in life, not just today but everyday all throughout the year and appreciate the spirit in which they are given. A happy and blessed St. Nicholas day to all.

Pj's kind of day

Have you ever just hung out, not showered, not change from what you wore to bed and just been a bum?

This was my Sunday. I literally finally showered at 5:30 p.m. and I finally got out of my pajama's and put on real clothes! Yes, you could call me a bum. But honestly I did accomplish some things. I washed my face and brushed my teeth so the day was not without some personal hygiene!

And I worked on some Christmas gifts. Did a little decorating. I did some cleaning and laundry was also in there. I also put supper in the crock pot at 8 a.m. this morning so it was an easy meal this evening-thank goodness.

I drank coffee, snacked (a little), skipped lunch and took a short nap. It was a much needed break from life. I think I needed it. Okay, I really needed it-Big time.

Yes there are things that I wanted to get done and had on my "to-do" list. And yes I feel a bit guilty about not getting some stuff done. But for every time I start to feel guilty about what I didn't do I reminded myself that I needed to do this mentally and physically for my own good.

We all need these kinds of days that are a break from life. Unfortunately as an adult female and unless you live alone having a day completely without work and commitment is not a reality. Life may take a backseat on occasion, but the work of life, laundry, cook. clean, get ready for life all continue to sneak into these kinds of days off unless you are totally away from home.

But regardless of what I did and did not do today it was nice to relax and to recharge my batteries so to speak. I did some things I wanted to do and I did some things I had to do. It's life.

Here's to a batteries are recharged kind of week that is a good one for all. Remember the reason for the season but don't get so caught up in  life to take care of yourself. Life is too short.