I can take or leave halloween. It is a fun holiday but not one I've ever gotten into. I grew up with the pumpkin carving and trick or treating. But my costumes were either a store bought Cinderella (the only store bought costume I ever had) or something I'd put together. Nothing elaborate like they are now. I'm not sure I did a great job with my kids but I tried to make it fun and memorable for my kids. From little pumpkins to crayons to football players I think they had fun. We'd carve pumpkins and go trick or treating and hand out candy. It was our little family tradition.
I remember as a little kid my other brother going out trick or treating with friends and coming home with a paper grocery bag full of candy-that was a lot of candy. Considering the sweet tooth he had it was quite the haul! I don't remember having that much luck when I went out, but I remember having fun trick or treating.
This day holds other memories other than halloween and trick or treating. My dad's birthday is Nov. 1 and the story that was told is if the doctor had been able to get to the house in time he would have been a halloween baby. It was tradition back in those days to tip over or move the out houses and corn shucks. The halloween shenanigans found these items on the roads making it difficult to navigate the roadway so the doctor took longer to get to the house and my dad was born after midnight in the early morning hours of Nov. 1 instead of on Oct. 31. We always celebrated birthdays and often dad's birthday would be celebrated on Oct. 31 with my aunts and uncles in attendance. My dad would have celebrated his 97th birthday tomorrow. Dad only celebrated 81 birthdays on this earth. I still celebrate with him in some form every year. I'm told I am a lot like him, a compliment to me.
It was 25 years ago today that a massive ice and snowstorm hit this area. I had two very disappointed trick or treaters who didn't understand when Halloween was cancelled that year. Being left without power and the inability to get out because of road conditions was not fun. It was a challenging time. We finally got out and took refuge in Des Moines with a sister and brother in-law with my two small ones. It was an adventure and memorable in both good and bad ways!
I have not given out candy for the past couple of years, but I did decorate the house a little this year. I think it helps with the holiday spirit.
So this year I will spend my evening selling books at work. Not exactly how I want to spend it but it is what it is. Here's to hoping all your trick are kind and your treats are sweet!
Monday, October 31, 2016
Thursday, October 27, 2016
In a funk
Everyone has their days that they are off or in a bad mood, or things are not going like they think, plan or want. This is normal. And having off days or days in a funk is also normal.
I love to watch people and since I work with teenagers and pre-teen kids it is interesting to see and watch their behavior. You can tell a lot by how they behave and act around their friends. It is entertaining to say the least! I have one young lady on my dance squad who is a schlep (that is the only, nice way I can describe her)....she is always slopping around like she does not care...she moves at the pace of a snail, she is always complaining about not feeling good and her attitude is blah and negative. I'm not discounting that maybe she does have some health issues but her friends and teammates comment on how she can be upbeat and happy one minute and the next she feels awful and is miserable-which is more the norm for her...she is miserable to be around too. Maybe she really does have some health issues. But in the two short months I've worked with her I have to admit I read her like a book the first week of practice and could pretty much tell what she was doing. For her the cup is half empty, at best. She has poor work ethics and is always in a poor mood.
Some people make one small incident ruin their whole day. I will admit I have let this happen to me before. We all do. And I've kicked myself afterwards for wasting a day or letting some worthless individual ruin a day, when I should have just blew it off and went on my merry way. Go rain on someone else's day. I'm mad at myself for the people who I've let ruin or take the happy and fun out of my life. We only get one chance at today and no one is guaranteed tomorrow. I would not want my last day on this earth to be a crappy one because of some small negative or because of someone small and negative. I have to remind myself of this. I have to find the happy from me, not someone else or something else.
Years ago I had a really close friend. We would talk daily and our kids played together. We shared similar family values except she thought the world revolved around her kids and if things didn't go as she thought, wanted or liked, especially at school she was on a rampage. She was storming in, making phone calls, and bending the ear of anyone who would listen. It was sad because a lot of the problems were not really problems and she would make a mountain out of a mole hill in 2.2 seconds. One day she called me venting about something at school...I listened and I remember thinking she was making a big deal over nothing. I listened just to give her an ear to listen I was not offering advice nor was I going to be a cheerleader on her team for her latest issue. But I stopped listening when she made the comment that I was a lot more understanding than the previous friend she had called about this. What??? She was calling friends looking for someone to listen and be on her side. I was listening but not on her side. That day was the beginning of the end of our close friendship. We are still friends but not like we were and I'm not sure who she vented and bitched to after that day, but it wasn't me any more. It was the last time her negative Nancy behavior wasted any more of my time. I made a clear and conscience effort to close that door and be done. Life has been better without that. And I need to continue to do this for my own health and wellbeing now as well.
There is a difference between being in a funk or down and depression. I had a front row seat to depression as a teenager when my dad was dealing with it. I don't know a lot of the information from his childhood and honestly the few things I do know makes my heart sad and I understood what he was dealing with more, and the cause of his depression. It also makes me thankful that I didn't have to deal with my grandmother...and I will leave it at that. My dad had a lot of days in a funk and I have no idea how my mom dealt with that or him.
So on those funk days...like I had earlier this week (it was one of those days I'd rather work with animals or small children if that is any indication of how it was)...I try to dig myself out, pick myself up and ignore the negative and crappy people who are in my world. Things could be a lot worse. Some of the negative and crappy people in my life I have control of...I can eliminate, distance or ignore them. And others are there and I just have to deal with...it is what it is and I firmly believe God puts them in my life to remind and show me how not to be and to appreciate what I have. And I forget and get on that funk bandwagon sometimes but I eventually get myself off and out of that funk and come back to looking at life as half full.
Remember the fact that we should a) be grateful we have a glass b) that there is something in the glass and c) the glass is refillable.
Make it a glass half-full, I have a glass and I can refill it kind of day!
I love to watch people and since I work with teenagers and pre-teen kids it is interesting to see and watch their behavior. You can tell a lot by how they behave and act around their friends. It is entertaining to say the least! I have one young lady on my dance squad who is a schlep (that is the only, nice way I can describe her)....she is always slopping around like she does not care...she moves at the pace of a snail, she is always complaining about not feeling good and her attitude is blah and negative. I'm not discounting that maybe she does have some health issues but her friends and teammates comment on how she can be upbeat and happy one minute and the next she feels awful and is miserable-which is more the norm for her...she is miserable to be around too. Maybe she really does have some health issues. But in the two short months I've worked with her I have to admit I read her like a book the first week of practice and could pretty much tell what she was doing. For her the cup is half empty, at best. She has poor work ethics and is always in a poor mood.
Some people make one small incident ruin their whole day. I will admit I have let this happen to me before. We all do. And I've kicked myself afterwards for wasting a day or letting some worthless individual ruin a day, when I should have just blew it off and went on my merry way. Go rain on someone else's day. I'm mad at myself for the people who I've let ruin or take the happy and fun out of my life. We only get one chance at today and no one is guaranteed tomorrow. I would not want my last day on this earth to be a crappy one because of some small negative or because of someone small and negative. I have to remind myself of this. I have to find the happy from me, not someone else or something else.
Years ago I had a really close friend. We would talk daily and our kids played together. We shared similar family values except she thought the world revolved around her kids and if things didn't go as she thought, wanted or liked, especially at school she was on a rampage. She was storming in, making phone calls, and bending the ear of anyone who would listen. It was sad because a lot of the problems were not really problems and she would make a mountain out of a mole hill in 2.2 seconds. One day she called me venting about something at school...I listened and I remember thinking she was making a big deal over nothing. I listened just to give her an ear to listen I was not offering advice nor was I going to be a cheerleader on her team for her latest issue. But I stopped listening when she made the comment that I was a lot more understanding than the previous friend she had called about this. What??? She was calling friends looking for someone to listen and be on her side. I was listening but not on her side. That day was the beginning of the end of our close friendship. We are still friends but not like we were and I'm not sure who she vented and bitched to after that day, but it wasn't me any more. It was the last time her negative Nancy behavior wasted any more of my time. I made a clear and conscience effort to close that door and be done. Life has been better without that. And I need to continue to do this for my own health and wellbeing now as well.
There is a difference between being in a funk or down and depression. I had a front row seat to depression as a teenager when my dad was dealing with it. I don't know a lot of the information from his childhood and honestly the few things I do know makes my heart sad and I understood what he was dealing with more, and the cause of his depression. It also makes me thankful that I didn't have to deal with my grandmother...and I will leave it at that. My dad had a lot of days in a funk and I have no idea how my mom dealt with that or him.
So on those funk days...like I had earlier this week (it was one of those days I'd rather work with animals or small children if that is any indication of how it was)...I try to dig myself out, pick myself up and ignore the negative and crappy people who are in my world. Things could be a lot worse. Some of the negative and crappy people in my life I have control of...I can eliminate, distance or ignore them. And others are there and I just have to deal with...it is what it is and I firmly believe God puts them in my life to remind and show me how not to be and to appreciate what I have. And I forget and get on that funk bandwagon sometimes but I eventually get myself off and out of that funk and come back to looking at life as half full.
Remember the fact that we should a) be grateful we have a glass b) that there is something in the glass and c) the glass is refillable.
Make it a glass half-full, I have a glass and I can refill it kind of day!
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Always remember
This date always holds a special place in my heart...it was the birthday of the only woman I've ever known as grandma...Grandma Vennick. This was her birthday. All my grandparents had passed by the time I arrive on the scene. This is what happens when you are the youngest of two youngest kids, you miss out on the grandparent thing usually. Grandma Vennick was one of the sweetest woman I've ever known and I'm not sure how she ended up with some of the most ornery kids but she did! We'd always celebrate her birthday on or around Oct. 20.
But this date also holds sad and happy memories for me as well. In 1986 I was pregnant for the first time. It was my first pregnancy but I knew things were not going as they should on this date. A trip to the hospital emergency room confirmed my worse fears, my baby had died. I got to see that tiny baby at 14 weeks old. He looked tiny and perfect and that vision is still as clear in my head today as it was 30 years ago when I held him. That baby would have turned 30 this next spring. And yes as a mother the thoughts of what would that person be like, who would they look like or where would they live, what would they be doing, often runs through my mind. It is an awful feeling to loose a child whether it is before they are born or after. It is something you never forget.
But a I said this date also holds happy memories for me because it was 29 years ago today I found out that I was pregnant again. One year after loosing that first baby. What are the chances that I would find this out on this same exact date? I just wanted to get through this day, but finding out I was pregnant was a host of emotions. Ryan, a healthy baby boy was born the following June and was our rainbow baby:
A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss.In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.
Yes this was Ryan when he arrived around the same time my first baby was due. He was a blessing and reminder that life is fragile and not guaranteed. He was our hope.
My heart still misses Grandma Vennick, she was the best. And my heart is sad and misses that first baby, what would they be like? But there is happiness for this date which confirmed that there are rainbows after the storm. They are signs of hope and that things do get better.
But this date also holds sad and happy memories for me as well. In 1986 I was pregnant for the first time. It was my first pregnancy but I knew things were not going as they should on this date. A trip to the hospital emergency room confirmed my worse fears, my baby had died. I got to see that tiny baby at 14 weeks old. He looked tiny and perfect and that vision is still as clear in my head today as it was 30 years ago when I held him. That baby would have turned 30 this next spring. And yes as a mother the thoughts of what would that person be like, who would they look like or where would they live, what would they be doing, often runs through my mind. It is an awful feeling to loose a child whether it is before they are born or after. It is something you never forget.
But a I said this date also holds happy memories for me because it was 29 years ago today I found out that I was pregnant again. One year after loosing that first baby. What are the chances that I would find this out on this same exact date? I just wanted to get through this day, but finding out I was pregnant was a host of emotions. Ryan, a healthy baby boy was born the following June and was our rainbow baby:
A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss.In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.
Yes this was Ryan when he arrived around the same time my first baby was due. He was a blessing and reminder that life is fragile and not guaranteed. He was our hope.
My heart still misses Grandma Vennick, she was the best. And my heart is sad and misses that first baby, what would they be like? But there is happiness for this date which confirmed that there are rainbows after the storm. They are signs of hope and that things do get better.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Go away already!
I'm not trying to be rude with the title of this blog. But I'm sure everyone can relate to that statement and have thought it a time or two or three or more!!
Go away already! Today I'm thinking this about the annoying cough and gunk that is rolling around in my head right now. Go away!!! The coughing is the worse. I can handle the drainage and nose blowing. But the rest of this crap is for the birds. And I know it is annoying to those around me. I try to stifle the cough but it just hangs there...like a piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe or a pesky fly or mosquito...go. away!
And I'm betting some people around me this week have thought the same thing about me....go away already. There are the germophobes, who I know are wishing I would go away, shut up or just go home. I know, I know! But honestly I don't feel bad enough to go home. I'm pretty sure I am not contagious and I'm trying really hard to keep quiet, keep to myself and not share the germs. The last thing I want to do is give this to anyone...well there might be a person or two I'd like to give this to, but that's another story!
I'm plugging through, drinking lots of water, getting a lot of sleep and taking vitamins. What else should I do other than chicken noodle soup? I'm not sure. And I don't think this deserves a trip to the doctor. I want to build up my immunity so I can fight whatever may be ahead.
But the phrase "go away already" can bring other things to mind. Mainly I think back to when I was a kid, and an older cousin would stop by and visit my family. Honestly I'm sure she is a really nice lady but she made me uncomfortable and was a little bit strange...okay a lot strange. She would stop by and not just stay for a short visit but, for hours. My mom, being the kind person she was, used to sit and listen and talk to this cousin. But as the years went along and us kids got older, my sisters and I would tolerate maybe a half hour of these "visits" before we would just get up and start doing things or make up the excuse that we were leaving and start getting things together to leave. It was not rude but just a gentle and kind way of getting this cousin to move along. Go away already may seem a little harsh and strange but a half hour or an hour of these cousin visits and that phrase was rolling through my head. I hope I've never been "that" person, and if I have been...sorry. But as I go through day 7 of this head stuff I just want it to leave. So I don't feel so badly saying or thinking this as I battle through another day of this.
May you not be having a "Go away already" kind of day, but rather life is good kind of day. And if you are looking for a head, sinus kind of bug I've got one I'm willing to give away, free of charge!!
Go away already! Today I'm thinking this about the annoying cough and gunk that is rolling around in my head right now. Go away!!! The coughing is the worse. I can handle the drainage and nose blowing. But the rest of this crap is for the birds. And I know it is annoying to those around me. I try to stifle the cough but it just hangs there...like a piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe or a pesky fly or mosquito...go. away!
And I'm betting some people around me this week have thought the same thing about me....go away already. There are the germophobes, who I know are wishing I would go away, shut up or just go home. I know, I know! But honestly I don't feel bad enough to go home. I'm pretty sure I am not contagious and I'm trying really hard to keep quiet, keep to myself and not share the germs. The last thing I want to do is give this to anyone...well there might be a person or two I'd like to give this to, but that's another story!
I'm plugging through, drinking lots of water, getting a lot of sleep and taking vitamins. What else should I do other than chicken noodle soup? I'm not sure. And I don't think this deserves a trip to the doctor. I want to build up my immunity so I can fight whatever may be ahead.
But the phrase "go away already" can bring other things to mind. Mainly I think back to when I was a kid, and an older cousin would stop by and visit my family. Honestly I'm sure she is a really nice lady but she made me uncomfortable and was a little bit strange...okay a lot strange. She would stop by and not just stay for a short visit but, for hours. My mom, being the kind person she was, used to sit and listen and talk to this cousin. But as the years went along and us kids got older, my sisters and I would tolerate maybe a half hour of these "visits" before we would just get up and start doing things or make up the excuse that we were leaving and start getting things together to leave. It was not rude but just a gentle and kind way of getting this cousin to move along. Go away already may seem a little harsh and strange but a half hour or an hour of these cousin visits and that phrase was rolling through my head. I hope I've never been "that" person, and if I have been...sorry. But as I go through day 7 of this head stuff I just want it to leave. So I don't feel so badly saying or thinking this as I battle through another day of this.
May you not be having a "Go away already" kind of day, but rather life is good kind of day. And if you are looking for a head, sinus kind of bug I've got one I'm willing to give away, free of charge!!
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Overwhelmed and blessed
Well here I go again! Wedding number two in less than three months. To say I have mixed emotions would be an understatement. And things are a little crazy right now to say the least.
Rehearsal, wedding and road trip to and from will fill my 72+ hours starting today. Spending 24 hours on the road for part of that 72 hours is the least appealing part of all of this. Putting on a rehearsal dinner some place where I feel like I'm going in blind...I don't know what I'm doing and I'm hoping no one realizes that. I'm apprehensive a ton. But it is what it is.
I think I have everything I need or will by the time we take off later today. And 12 hours of driving after a full day of work is not a high point of my life, but it's what you do for people you love. And I'm betting everyone who is road tripping will have a deluxe case of jet lag come Monday, but that is okay. I get to watch my oldest son marry the love of his life and that makes all of this worthwhile.
You see among the many things you learn from being a parent is that your kids will always come first regardless of their age or your age. You may communicate with them daily, weekly or monthly but as a parent they are always on your mind, the first in your thoughts and prayers. You love, worry and fret about them from the moment you find out you are pregnant until your last breath. It's the life of a mother. You give, you do, you give up, you do without, you cheer, you feed, you sew, you wash, you buy, you love every day for your kids. And honestly I never understood all of this until I became a parent and with each stage and chapter I journey through I look back at the memories of my mom and understand how she felt. I get it now!
Watching your kids walk for the first time, go off to school, graduate, leave home, start new jobs and lives is a blessing. I'm lucky I get to watch my kids do this. Some parents do not get this opportunity for a variety of sad reasons. I am so blessed.
So this weekend's celebration will be one of fun, memories and laughter I'm sure, just like our first wedding and our third wedding. Each unique but each celebrating the love and blessings we have. I can't wait! I am so incredibly blessed but I am also overwhelmed and I need to let that part go. Things will go fine. And if they don't go as planned we will punt and see where the ball lands. It's life, and how to deal every single day.
So here is to another family celebration that will be overwhelmingly fun and blessed beyond our expectations. We are so very overwhelmingly blessed!
Rehearsal, wedding and road trip to and from will fill my 72+ hours starting today. Spending 24 hours on the road for part of that 72 hours is the least appealing part of all of this. Putting on a rehearsal dinner some place where I feel like I'm going in blind...I don't know what I'm doing and I'm hoping no one realizes that. I'm apprehensive a ton. But it is what it is.
I think I have everything I need or will by the time we take off later today. And 12 hours of driving after a full day of work is not a high point of my life, but it's what you do for people you love. And I'm betting everyone who is road tripping will have a deluxe case of jet lag come Monday, but that is okay. I get to watch my oldest son marry the love of his life and that makes all of this worthwhile.
You see among the many things you learn from being a parent is that your kids will always come first regardless of their age or your age. You may communicate with them daily, weekly or monthly but as a parent they are always on your mind, the first in your thoughts and prayers. You love, worry and fret about them from the moment you find out you are pregnant until your last breath. It's the life of a mother. You give, you do, you give up, you do without, you cheer, you feed, you sew, you wash, you buy, you love every day for your kids. And honestly I never understood all of this until I became a parent and with each stage and chapter I journey through I look back at the memories of my mom and understand how she felt. I get it now!
Watching your kids walk for the first time, go off to school, graduate, leave home, start new jobs and lives is a blessing. I'm lucky I get to watch my kids do this. Some parents do not get this opportunity for a variety of sad reasons. I am so blessed.
So this weekend's celebration will be one of fun, memories and laughter I'm sure, just like our first wedding and our third wedding. Each unique but each celebrating the love and blessings we have. I can't wait! I am so incredibly blessed but I am also overwhelmed and I need to let that part go. Things will go fine. And if they don't go as planned we will punt and see where the ball lands. It's life, and how to deal every single day.
So here is to another family celebration that will be overwhelmingly fun and blessed beyond our expectations. We are so very overwhelmingly blessed!
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