Don't try this at home

Okay, I grew up  around fireworks so I am comfortable with them. And I have a small stash of leftover fireworks from several years ago. Every year at this time large flocks of crows like to hangout in the trees around my town. So when I came home from work the other day there were a ton of crows in my trees, making a mess-if you know what I mean. Along with their mess, aka bird droppings, the noise from the crows was loud. So I did what I always do to get these pests out of my trees...resort to fireworks.

I found an empty wine bottle. One bottle rocket. And a lighter. I went out to the end of my back sidewalk, set the bottle down and put the bottle rocket in the bottle, then angled it to make sure I would not fire it at the house or start something on fire. I fired up the lighter, yes pun intended, and I lit the fuse. Then I backed away, quickly! The swoosh of the rocket did the trick, the birds took off and were gone. And I thought for a few brief seconds that the rocket was a dud. But nope. It let off the loudest bang I've heard in a long time. And this was long after the birds had left so there was nothing to muffle the bang. It was such a loud bang it scared the monarch butterflies there were in my trees...opps, sorry guys.

I wasn't sure what to do. Did my neighbors think a gun had been fired? Was I going to get in trouble because fireworks are illegal and I did just shoot one off in town, in broad daylight! Honestly it scared the poo out of me because it was so loud!

My quick thinking was to grab the evidence...the bottle and lighter that was still in my hand and hide it in the house. I put things away and wondered what the neighbors were still thinking. It was a pretty quiet day and it sounded like a gun had been fired.

So my solution was I would not get in trouble if I wasn't home...so I took off for a three mile walk! It took me 40 minutes and as I got a couple blocks from home guess what was in the trees overhead as I tried to dodge the "droppings"? Those crows......so much for getting them to go away.

No I didn't get in trouble. And I've not had any of the neighbors ask me if I heard a loud bang, like a gun going off on Monday afternoon. Because honestly I don't know if I could keep from looking guilty or laughing and smiling.

Would I stage the bottle rocket vs crows episode again? You bet. Those dumb things are loud, nosy and make a mess. And as long as I've got the ammo and I don't get in trouble I'm gonna keep using it!

I'll just be wiser next time...one way or another!

Oh and one mishap in this whole episode...before I lit the fuse on the bottle rocket I got hit on the shoulder, hard, by a falling walnut. Maybe it was a sign from God and I should have stopped before I lit that fuse. But noooo, I went ahead and did it anyway! Yes, I'm a stubborn redhead. But my shoulder hurt for a couple of days!!

May your day be crow free and may no one shoot off a bottle rocket in your neighborhood and scare the poo out of you. Oh, and don't try this at home!!!