Good intentions gone bad

As someone who works with kids, I've seen a great deal from the funny and humorous to the sad and heartbreaking. I could write a book. But after 20+ years of coaching both boys and girls I am seeing a trend at all levels but more so at the high school level that leaves me angry, upset and baffled. And honestly, at times I find myself losing my love of sports because of it.

Most parents of kids who are out for sports have good intentions. The skills, interaction, and life long lessons are endless when it comes to sports. But we have parents who know it all, and only want their child to shine on a team of many. This kind of thinking trickles down to their child and has adverse effects on the team mentality and success. Just one player or their parents can ruin a team. In addition, parents think they have a license to go personally one-on-one with coaches to tell them how or ask why their kid is not....playing or starting or whatever they deem their child is not getting. These parents are bashing and bitching from "why aren't you playing my kid" to "this is what you should be doing" kind of thing. It is common for a coach to not only have to deal with kids, coaching, the day-to-day duties of coaching at a very poorly paid job to now being bashed and yelled at by parents, some who only what their child to shine, some who've never played a day of the sport or any sports for that matter. And to top it off administration seldom, if ever has the back of the coaches anymore. It has become a "bury your head in the sand mentality" for a lot of administrators, support is little, if any most days. The coaches are fresh meat for parents who want it all to be all about their child.

As a coach, I will admit I've lost my love of the sport I coach, a lot lately. I wonder if I should call it quits and move on some days. The passion is not there like I feel it should be. I've dealt with some pretty bad situations over the years and more so recently and had to deal with situations without support or guidance from administration. ZERO support. But there are the little things that bring me back. The success. The lessons I teach, not just about the sport but about life. The smiles and excitement my kids bring to practices and performances. It brings me back and reminds me why I do what I do. It certainly is not for the pay which is pennies on the hour. Pay has never been a reason. The kids and my passion are why I continue.

As a parent, I have watched with a frustrated and heavy heart at times as one player or a parent have made it difficult or worse yet, ruin it for the team. The player who only is looking in the stands for the attention and approval or to see what "Daddy Coach" is telling them to do...really, I've witnessed this kind of garbage, many times! I've listened to my spouse coach both from the sidelines and the stands and make it twice as hard on my kids because if he did showed any kind of favoritism others would be calling and complaining "he/she is the coaches son/daughter" is a favorite excuse and I've heard it over the years, many times as a parent, spouse and coach. (And I won't deny that there are those coaches who have shown favoritism to their own kids when more talented athletes have sat on the bench, they make it harder than hell on the rest of us and our kids. But that is a whole other blog!). Heaven forbid anyone would think for a moment my kids would be working their ass off or have the benefit of having parents who coach to help and guide them! We played with our kids, from football to golf to baseball, to running over their own makeshift hurdles down our driveway. Or yet maybe my kids were OUTSIDE or in the gym playing sports all year long, getting better, working hard, getting stronger and just plain being kids. My kids were not sitting on their butt inside watching tv or hooked up to electronic devices. Nope, that did not happen in my house.  Thankfully to those dumb ass parents who thought for sure my son was called up a level in little kids baseball because his dad was the high school coach my child, (all three of them) is now a hardworking, well educated, successful person. He's not living in his hometown working a minimal job and the umbilical cord is not stretched 30 miles from mommy, it is cut! All of my kids have learned the hard way from the stupidity of parents who thought their child was special, gifted or more talented than someone else on the team. Hard work pays off and these parents are not going to be there when junior does not get a job or gets fired from a job because he does not work or do as he is told.

All the money in the world or complaining to the administration or bashing a coach either behind their back from the stands or to in their face does not make your child a star athlete or give them the right to play before someone else who works harder, is coachable and has talent. Instead, it shows your true LACK character and maturity as the adult in this situation.

So on the days when I feel like the society is going to hell in a handbasket and people with money or bigger mouths or who complain the most bring me down I have to remember the benefits of sports and the lifelong lessons it teaches our youth under the guidance of coaches who a) know what they are doing, b) have good intentions to see everyone learn and wins are not the only sign of success.

All the talent in the world is a waste if you do not work. As that quote goes "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard" True every single day from the baseball field to the gym to the classroom to the workforce and life in general.