Yep, I lost my cool a little bit today. My 5th hour study hall is a large group and my only break of the day between 9 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. comes with a short 22-minute (at best) lunch at which time some days I have to choose between heating up my lunch and eating it as fast as possible, or getting to go to the restroom and eat my lunch throughout the afternoon-eventually cold, or just not finish it. But my 5th period group is something else. It is not a quiet, well behaved group like most of the other sections are. This group of upperclassmen is filled with ornery, sometimes obnoxious, I'm "special" teenagers who think they can do what they want, when they want. Each day they do their best to wreak havoc before I shut them down. And today when I walked in I'd had enough of their shenanigans and behavior. I gave them their first, last and only warning as a group for being late-after this if they come strolling in without a note or pass they will be spending a 15 minute detention with me WORKING. And not on homework. Work work.
I know teenagers will be teenagers. I deal with a wide variety of 5th through 12th graders everyday of the school year. You get to know some pretty well. You get to know their habits and behaviors. Some need attention constantly. Some like to fly under the radar and do their thing. Some need to sit with people, while others gravitate to a table away from everyone and everything. Some kids talk constantly and never realize they are, even after being told to stop talking. Others come in, sit down and get right to work, never uttering a word. Some like to keep everything in a neat order while others spread the stuff all over and it takes them forever to settle in and pack up! Some think rules don't apply to them while others follow the rules to the letter. Everyone is different.
But why today did I loose my cool? What made me snap after over four weeks of school? Was it the total chaos or the missing or moved furniture that they managed to hide or move in the brief time they were in the room before I got there? My solution, other than eat my lunch everyday in my office is locking all the doors when I leave. They can wait out in the hallway until I get here to let them in. And they will wait. It takes away from my time and means more work for me but I'm tired of this group and the ones who thing they can do as they please and run the school, we are suppose to follow their rules-not on my watch. I have a few stragglers, who do no harm, but who come up each day early to get into the room and find their spot. These early arrivals are no problems but it cuts what little time I get for a break down even more. They are often times up to the library 10 minutes after I start my lunch break. They are the quiet kids who march to their own beat I've noticed and I often wonder what .
I honestly have no answer as to why I lost my cool slightly, other than the personality of this group. I always looked forward to this group last year-that group was a relaxed and laid back group. Not this year! It's like this group is fed sugar and pop while at lunch each day, and told no rules apply to them!
So after playing "babysitter" to this group again today and sitting them down they were pretty well behaved. They knew they had pushed the envelope to the limit and not to push it any farther. I don't have this red hair for nothing! But I'm sure tomorrow it will be the same old thing, but they will figure out that I don't trust them nor will they walk all over me when they are standing outside the room waiting to get it!
We all loose our cool at times and it might be triggered by bad timing or the straw that breaks the camel's back or it just happens. Regardless today it was probably a combination of all, the final straw and stress from the week and it just happened! So my method of dealing-writing! And some chocolate. And finding a way to deal with this group. With kids it feels like I have to always be one step ahead of them or a day or too, and always on your toes-kids will do this! As well as small animals!!
Positive thought of the day: It is what it is. Tomorrow is a new day!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Moving mountains!
The term "moving mountains" means to get a lot done! Well for me today it's not moving mountains it's "moving a piano"! Yep, I discovered I can move my very own piano all by myself. This is a term for me literally and also in the figurative way as in I can do this myself. Living in a house that was 98% carpeted when we moved in has driven me a bit nuts for a variety of reasons: 1. some of the carpet was ugly and old-and probably a big source of a lot of the allergies I've had 2. how clean are/were things? Especially both carpeted bathrooms. 3. Finding 90+ year old hardwood floors is a treat. Most need some TLC but they are not in terrible shape-I see beauty where others see differently-oh well, I'm the one doing the work. 4. I can not move furniture by myself-mainly the heavy stuff with carpet. You see moving furniture in a room gives me a new lease on life. It's a fresh way to look at the same world in a different way-a new outlook. I know I get this habit from my mom-thanks mom! And I always say it is cheaper than shopping, gambling or drinking. While some women color their hair a wacky new color or wear some weird clothing (weird in my defination, I know it is just their way of expressing themselves) I move things around-furniture, pictures, contents of cupboards and closets. I reorganize and toss things that I don't want or need. There is no rhyme or reason to why I do this. I just know it is good therapy for me-plain and simple. And I feel so much better after I'm done-that is the only way I know how to explain it. I'm sure to some people around me they find it odd or weird. I'm sure I've probably corrupted my kids to an extent. And I once was told, "good thing I don't have blind children"! I know! I'll be the crazy old lady at the nursing home who will rearrange the lounge or my own room when I can't sleep!
A month ago I finally dug in and pulled up carpet from the dining room. It just was time to go. In my opinion food and carpeting does not mix. So pulling it out in smaller, easy to handle sections was a task but I got it done and it came out easier than I thought. The hardest thing-moving the piano so I could get the rest of the carpet and paint behind it. So things sat idle while I'll worked away on two coating the rest of the room. I put protectors under the legs of all the furniture and waited for both sons to be under the same roof. Both boys were under the same roof for less than 20 hours and an unusually busy Saturday didn't find my piano being moved by the pain until late in the day. Taking out the carpet was easy. Getting the painting done before they left not so much. So since that Saturday over three weeks ago I go into my disarrayed dining room as little as possible. My furniture is every where and there is nothing use-able about the room. Nothing. I don't let it bother me, but it does.
So after an early morning wake up for me and some coffee and a bit of "lets see" how heavy can a piano be thoughts, I walked into the room and told my self to just try. Even if I moved it a tiny bit each day, sooner or later I'd meet the wall-right? Well much to my surprise I can move that big old piano more than a little bit! Yay me!! I'm stronger than I think! What a good feeling that is. It is like a whole new independence for me. Like accomplishing a great task. So what I thought I might be able to accomplish in a week or two a little at a time, I think I can do in an hour!! No I'm not going to be moving the piano all over the house! Some day it will go to a new home, but for me and the rare times I play it, it is looking at the world from a different angle too!
So the fact that I do still have the strength and muscle that I used to makes me feel pretty good! Nope, no weight lifting training required, just good old farm girl upbringing and some determination!
So here's to a Sunday and looking at the world from a different angle as I sit down to play a few, rusty tunes on my piano.
Positive thought of the day: That we all discover "mountains" in our lives that we are able to move when we thought we couldn't. Whether it is mountains or pianos-move it! Look at the world like it's just been re-arranged!! Fresh and in a new way!
A month ago I finally dug in and pulled up carpet from the dining room. It just was time to go. In my opinion food and carpeting does not mix. So pulling it out in smaller, easy to handle sections was a task but I got it done and it came out easier than I thought. The hardest thing-moving the piano so I could get the rest of the carpet and paint behind it. So things sat idle while I'll worked away on two coating the rest of the room. I put protectors under the legs of all the furniture and waited for both sons to be under the same roof. Both boys were under the same roof for less than 20 hours and an unusually busy Saturday didn't find my piano being moved by the pain until late in the day. Taking out the carpet was easy. Getting the painting done before they left not so much. So since that Saturday over three weeks ago I go into my disarrayed dining room as little as possible. My furniture is every where and there is nothing use-able about the room. Nothing. I don't let it bother me, but it does.
So after an early morning wake up for me and some coffee and a bit of "lets see" how heavy can a piano be thoughts, I walked into the room and told my self to just try. Even if I moved it a tiny bit each day, sooner or later I'd meet the wall-right? Well much to my surprise I can move that big old piano more than a little bit! Yay me!! I'm stronger than I think! What a good feeling that is. It is like a whole new independence for me. Like accomplishing a great task. So what I thought I might be able to accomplish in a week or two a little at a time, I think I can do in an hour!! No I'm not going to be moving the piano all over the house! Some day it will go to a new home, but for me and the rare times I play it, it is looking at the world from a different angle too!
So the fact that I do still have the strength and muscle that I used to makes me feel pretty good! Nope, no weight lifting training required, just good old farm girl upbringing and some determination!
So here's to a Sunday and looking at the world from a different angle as I sit down to play a few, rusty tunes on my piano.
Positive thought of the day: That we all discover "mountains" in our lives that we are able to move when we thought we couldn't. Whether it is mountains or pianos-move it! Look at the world like it's just been re-arranged!! Fresh and in a new way!
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Listen when they want...
Yes, we've all have them. The "friends" who are only there when they want to be or when they need something-that's not a friend. They are absolutely useless and in no way being a friend if they don't listen or they ignore you when you are sad or vent or need someone to talk to. Yes they sure are there in the good times and fun.
Yes, this is a lesson I keep forgetting and relearning...maybe one day soon I will learn, don't share, don't talk, just walk away and let them be. They are not worth the time. But more than anything it means they don't care-let them go.
I know I have my moments when people are talking to me and I don't fully listen, or give feedback when they are expecting it or wanting it, needing it. Otherwise why would they be sharing with me? I try not to do that and if I do, I apologize to them as soon as I realize it. But I never blatantly ignore or acknowledge or not act like I care to people I do care about. Not replying does that. To me it says I don't care and you are not worth my time.
I get that now....lesson learned. Go find someone else next time you need someone or something.
I'm done.
Yes, this is a lesson I keep forgetting and relearning...maybe one day soon I will learn, don't share, don't talk, just walk away and let them be. They are not worth the time. But more than anything it means they don't care-let them go.
I know I have my moments when people are talking to me and I don't fully listen, or give feedback when they are expecting it or wanting it, needing it. Otherwise why would they be sharing with me? I try not to do that and if I do, I apologize to them as soon as I realize it. But I never blatantly ignore or acknowledge or not act like I care to people I do care about. Not replying does that. To me it says I don't care and you are not worth my time.
I get that now....lesson learned. Go find someone else next time you need someone or something.
I'm done.
A new season
I didn't participate in a lot while in high school for a variety of reasons: we lived 5-miles from town, I was the youngest and didn't have older siblings to take me to and from; I grew up on a farm and there is always work to do on the farm; and my dad had health problems all throughout my high school career so it put more responsibility on me and my workload at home. So my participation was in vocal music, drama, speech, small group vocal music, a little cross country, journalism, yearbook, I took piano lessons and I think that is about it. I was needed at home to work. My social life consisted of going out on Friday nights to sporting events, (my first football and wrestling events ever came when I was in high school-loved football-disliked wrestling and left after 10 minutes) or I hung out with friends, going to Pizza Hut, playing tennis, sitting around talking or occasionally going to each others houses. My two best friends and I were all farm girls who lived out of town so getting together on a Friday night was always a challenge as to what we would do and where we would go. But we didn't do anything bad nor get into any trouble. Were were pretty quiet and well behaved by today's standards.
So when my kids got to the age of participating in extra-curricular I encouraged them to do what they wanted and would enjoy. With the exception of being too involved, we've all seen the kids that are involved in everything and rather than being outstanding which they could be, they are average at best because they are too busy. They mean well, but let their team mates down more often than not. I can think of a handful of students who have graduated, who could not say no to anything and stood out at nothing.
My kids were very involved while in high school, not so much with the things I was involved in when in school, but I learned about their activities as they grew and became their biggest fan, supporter, errand runner, chore do-er, uniform washer, meal maker, and any thing else I could be so they could excel and succeed at what they chose both in the classroom and outside. I think they had pretty successful careers while in high school barred a crappy teacher or coach or show-off team mate!
As I enter my 21st year of coaching dance team, I find myself feeling the same feelings I have for the past 20 years-fresh and excited but I also find myself wondering what the heck is going on in kids heads at times, how proud I am of them at other times, frustration with those who can NOT follow simple rules like their READ email or texts or follow a simple phone tree-back in the day or get to practice or get there on time, impressed how talented others are, or pissed off because some have no idea what it is like to be part of a team-it's not all about them.
At this stage of the game you get a pretty good indication of how life is going to go for these young people. Those who will never leave town because of an invisible umbilical cord connected to their mommy or a significant "other" (there is nothing wrong with going back to your home town, but leave for a while, get out on your own, grow up before you come back), the ones who will leave and never look back, the ones who will bloom and become completely different people when they get away from home, those that reality will bite in the butt and the ones who will be happy and those who will not because it is not all about them any more-that's life.
This year is no exception to the past 20 years, I come into each season with big plans, dreams, hopes and aspirations. Some years have been a total success in a variety of ways, others mediocre, and there are those years that you just want the season to be over. The kids and parents are a good deciding factor to how the season will or will not go. Support and being a team means success. It's all about me or you're not being fair to my child will send any talented team into the dumpster if it is not stopped or fixed- if it can be. And letting one failure define the rest of the season is never a good run. I'm always excited for dance team, I love music and dancing and seeing my kids perform. Yes I call them my kids as I become protective of them like a mom, in most cases.
But as I head into our first performance of the 2014-15 season I am again anxious and excited as well as nervous, as if I'll be out there performing! Ha-although I can do just about every routine frontwards and backwards, with the team or mirroring them but the time we get to performances!! I've had these feelings every year, usually before every performance-but I can't let the kids know this is how I feel. This group has worked hard and we've practiced this first dance more than I ever have in past years-some members of this group need the extra practice time, and maybe an attitude adjustment as I use each performance as leverage as to if they will or will not perform again. We've not been without our "problems". The girls who bitch and moan about practice times saying we practice too much, or they don't make up their missed practice times on their times but expect myself or a team mate to do it when it works best for them-NOT. Or trash talking about your team mates-some thing that really ticks me off. Certainly not team behavior and will find them sitting out when everyone else is dancing.
I can't control how the girls do, there will be those who nail the performance, those who forget (just a small part I hope and they recover quickly) those who will get deer in the headlights looks or decide to rush and fast forward the dance- giving everything away but in the end it is what it is. Is this the best performance I've ever put out there-probably not. But it is the best for this group of young ladies as we start a new season. You are only as strong as your weakest dancer. Making the dance work with their wide range of abilities and music is all just part of the whole picture that I deal with each and every practice and performance. I have everyone dance this dance but not so when it comes to the rest of the season. Yes, like everyone else I want everyone to dance, but some times that just does not work. Sometimes they need to sit it out and watch. I think girls some times learn as much from watching as they do dancing but I'd rather see them dance.
Here we go.....we'll dance like no one is watching!
Positive thought of the day: I'm so blessed that I can still coach and dance with these kids! Most of them are pretty good eggs!
So when my kids got to the age of participating in extra-curricular I encouraged them to do what they wanted and would enjoy. With the exception of being too involved, we've all seen the kids that are involved in everything and rather than being outstanding which they could be, they are average at best because they are too busy. They mean well, but let their team mates down more often than not. I can think of a handful of students who have graduated, who could not say no to anything and stood out at nothing.
My kids were very involved while in high school, not so much with the things I was involved in when in school, but I learned about their activities as they grew and became their biggest fan, supporter, errand runner, chore do-er, uniform washer, meal maker, and any thing else I could be so they could excel and succeed at what they chose both in the classroom and outside. I think they had pretty successful careers while in high school barred a crappy teacher or coach or show-off team mate!
As I enter my 21st year of coaching dance team, I find myself feeling the same feelings I have for the past 20 years-fresh and excited but I also find myself wondering what the heck is going on in kids heads at times, how proud I am of them at other times, frustration with those who can NOT follow simple rules like their READ email or texts or follow a simple phone tree-back in the day or get to practice or get there on time, impressed how talented others are, or pissed off because some have no idea what it is like to be part of a team-it's not all about them.
At this stage of the game you get a pretty good indication of how life is going to go for these young people. Those who will never leave town because of an invisible umbilical cord connected to their mommy or a significant "other" (there is nothing wrong with going back to your home town, but leave for a while, get out on your own, grow up before you come back), the ones who will leave and never look back, the ones who will bloom and become completely different people when they get away from home, those that reality will bite in the butt and the ones who will be happy and those who will not because it is not all about them any more-that's life.
This year is no exception to the past 20 years, I come into each season with big plans, dreams, hopes and aspirations. Some years have been a total success in a variety of ways, others mediocre, and there are those years that you just want the season to be over. The kids and parents are a good deciding factor to how the season will or will not go. Support and being a team means success. It's all about me or you're not being fair to my child will send any talented team into the dumpster if it is not stopped or fixed- if it can be. And letting one failure define the rest of the season is never a good run. I'm always excited for dance team, I love music and dancing and seeing my kids perform. Yes I call them my kids as I become protective of them like a mom, in most cases.
But as I head into our first performance of the 2014-15 season I am again anxious and excited as well as nervous, as if I'll be out there performing! Ha-although I can do just about every routine frontwards and backwards, with the team or mirroring them but the time we get to performances!! I've had these feelings every year, usually before every performance-but I can't let the kids know this is how I feel. This group has worked hard and we've practiced this first dance more than I ever have in past years-some members of this group need the extra practice time, and maybe an attitude adjustment as I use each performance as leverage as to if they will or will not perform again. We've not been without our "problems". The girls who bitch and moan about practice times saying we practice too much, or they don't make up their missed practice times on their times but expect myself or a team mate to do it when it works best for them-NOT. Or trash talking about your team mates-some thing that really ticks me off. Certainly not team behavior and will find them sitting out when everyone else is dancing.
I can't control how the girls do, there will be those who nail the performance, those who forget (just a small part I hope and they recover quickly) those who will get deer in the headlights looks or decide to rush and fast forward the dance- giving everything away but in the end it is what it is. Is this the best performance I've ever put out there-probably not. But it is the best for this group of young ladies as we start a new season. You are only as strong as your weakest dancer. Making the dance work with their wide range of abilities and music is all just part of the whole picture that I deal with each and every practice and performance. I have everyone dance this dance but not so when it comes to the rest of the season. Yes, like everyone else I want everyone to dance, but some times that just does not work. Sometimes they need to sit it out and watch. I think girls some times learn as much from watching as they do dancing but I'd rather see them dance.
Here we go.....we'll dance like no one is watching!
Positive thought of the day: I'm so blessed that I can still coach and dance with these kids! Most of them are pretty good eggs!
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