The ups and downs and ins and outs!

Since this is the week of Mother's day I thought I'd hit on the ups and downs, in's and out's of motherhood and being a mom. After all I've been a mom for almost 26 years, so I do think maybe I might have some experience and some insight!

Mother's day to me is an opportunity to appreciate what you have, the good and bad! I had a fantastic mom and lots of great memories. And to be truthful I appreciate mother's day even more since mom is gone, more than I ever did before. The saying, "you don't know what you have until it's gone" rings very true. That's not to say I didn't appreciate my mom before she was gone. I just find myself appreciating even more all she did, taught me and all she means to me.

I lacked experience, BIG time when it came to motherhood. I had three nieces just 7, 10 and 12 years younger than me, more like little sisters than nieces. So we hung out. I learned about caring for them and all the essential things but we had fun mostly. Yes I'm the fun aunt when it came to these three, especially the oldest! I'd like to think I still am!! I hope they have good memories of me and the laughter we shared.

So when I brought that first baby home 26 years ago and was left alone less than three hours out of the hospital I did panic a bit! Ryan was not a difficult baby (none of my kids were-thank goodness), I just didn't know all all the ropes. Did I make mistakes, you bet! I still do. But I also learned and made sure I did things differently than my parents did-and I think my parents did a pretty good job with me but there is always room for changes and improvements! I spent as much time as I could with my kids. We did craft times, we read. I made their clothes, we watched movies. We worked together. I tried to teach them manners and how to be resourceful and creative and appreciate what they do and don't have. I didn't have the privilege of having any grandparents so I wanted to make sure my kids appreciate and enjoyed and made memories with their grandparents while they had them. And I did things the same for Ashlyn and Ranen too, but there are times you customize what you do because each child is different in a variety of ways. Just because they are siblings does not mean they are cookie cutter kids and the three of them the same-no way. Each one has their talents and their weaknesses. You learn how to deal with situations with each one differently. It's what makes us each unique. I tired not to judge or compare my kids to each other. I was often compared to my oldest sister, who is a nun but NO one can live up to that. I didn't try nor did I care to try to be like her, it wasn't me. I love my sister dearly but I could never be like her-I have nothing but respect for her. She is the most like my mom-even sounds like her. We are all unique!

I try not to interfere in my kids lives now that they are adults. There are many times I want to pick up the phone and call them just to hear the sound of their voices and hear about how their day is or what is going on in their lives. But I often stop myself because I don't want to interfere or be a nosy mom and I know they are very very busy. I just want to hear their voices! Thank goodness for texting though! It's the next best thing. :)

With my kids I've dealt with colic, skinned knees, glasses and contacts, clothes they outgrew after wearing once, nasty friends and their mothers, first day of school jitters, jobs, money, career or life decisions and a whole host of other things. It is all part of life. But I am so thankful for these three, normal, healthy people that I brought into this world and had the opportunity to raise. They are God's gift to me and I was lucky enough to be chosen to be their mom.

Yes motherhood has it's ups and downs but I mostly remember the ups! The good times, the laughter and the fun. We've gotten each other through a lot. I depend on my kids as much as they depend on me. You see I've grown as much as they have and I will continue to learn, grow and change just as they are. We've grown up together. And you are never too old to learn. So whatever the future holds for all of us I am thankful for the times, opportunity and the gift each one has been in my life. I know they are gifts from God. Thank you!

No one ever said motherhood was easy but it's been the most rewarding and biggest blessing I've had in my life. Appreciate anyone who's been like a mom to you-it takes a village. I certainly didn't do it alone!

Positive thought of the day: Spring,  despite it taking a long time to get here, brings to me a feeling of renewed and refreshed. Be it washing winter coats and putting them away until later this year or the new growth of flowers or the windows I've washed. Things look so much brighter! (even better when I have my contacts in or glasses on!)