Something better!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you stack up all the negatives and things going wrong in your life in a big old pile, either from the last five minutes or last five years and have a deluxe, big old pity party? Poor me. I'm so sad/bad/whatever you want to do use to describe yourself or your life at that moment.

Yep, I did that yesterday for about 60 seconds (it was a short party) then I kicked myself and realized two things that I constantly forget: 1. I am NOT in control-God is. So I need to stop trying to control life, situations and such. God has a much better plan for me. I am along for the ride and I need to enjoy it, I won't get a second chance.
2. I have soooooooooo much to be thankful about-my family, my health, my freedom, my life in general. I am so blessed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I need to stop taking this all for granted.

When ever you are rejected, be it a text or email that is not replied to or a job that you apply or interview for and don't get it hurts to think that you're not good enough or worthy of a reply or the opportunity or the time it takes. We all have it happen to us and we all have done it to others. It's just life. Get on with your life to more important things that you are suppose to be at.

I try not to put all my eggs into one basket due mainly to the fact that I'd rather keep my eggs close and not put them out there into one hope or dream. I'd rather have my eggs where I can see them and decide which basket they should go in where they can reach the most potential.

I have a friend who can't let things go and wallows when things go wrong, and constantly lets things that will not matter in a week or a month or a year hang over his head and bother him. On the outside looking in it seems silly. But in his world it is devastating and a source of unhappiness. And that's okay, it matters to him and if bothers him for a long time it's his decision. He doesn't have a lot of distractions or responsibilities in his life so his behavior is understandable. But there is so much more to life. We tend to remember the negatives and forget the positives. One cutting remark is remembered more than a hundred compliments. The world is hard and rough enough without us doing it to ourselves. 

So after my rejection and short pity party yesterday I topped things off with a sliver in the bottom of my foot too-ouch! Way to go Lynn. But stepping back and looking at things it was a great day! I could go into work when and as long as I wanted to. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. I got something things accomplished at home and life is peaceful. So moving on to a new day and letting go of the negative is something I need to work on. And I need to remember that there is something better ahead...God has a plan.

Positive thought of the day: Look at the positive potentials that life has and is offering you rather than the negatives. Every day is a new opportunity to become a better person and reach your potential. Live life and remember that there is always something better ahead!

What I did on my summer vacation-in reverse

Yay!!!!! I made it to summer vacation! After a trying year at school to finally be to this day seems like a major accomplishment. And thinking about the proverbial back to school essay teachers some times ask their students to write when school starts in August "What I did on my summer vacation" I'm on the front side of that and thinking about what I'd like to be able to "write" when August rolls around when I head back to school.

So here is my list with lots of room for adjustments and additions:
1. Spend time with my kids! Celebrate all three of their birthdays. Eat favorite meals together. Talk. Just be with them, not matter what we are doing and where we do it.
2. READ! I have several books I want to read this summer and starting now would be a good time. I tried the reading challenge to read 40 pages a day and read a novel in a week. It works but other things such as sleep, laundry, dishes don't get done! Adjustments can be made to make this goal accomplished.
3. Some home improvements. This can be as small as cleaning out cupboards and drawers or as big as painting the basement stairwell or taking out carpet and uncovering more hardwood floors!
4. Spend time with friends. I don't care if its a quick lunch here in town or going to Des Moines to Zombie Burger. Just taking the time and opportunity to spend time and do it now, not at the last minute in late July.
5. Be physically active. I'd like to workout at least 30 minutes per day. It helps me physically and mentally.
6. Get caught up on things-there is a list here and all can be accomplished!
7. Be happy, relax and renew. This is a must!
8. What ever else that sounds like fun and comes my way can be added at any given time!

So there it is! I have no great travel plans. I love to travel but I am also content to be home most days. May the summer of 2014 be a good one with many blessings, some things checked off my "lists" and a peaceful, quiet one.

Positive thought of the day: I can make my own hours as I want to finish up my school year! Peace and quiet on my terms for a change.

25-hours in a day-PLEASE!?!

I remember as a kid wishing time would go faster. For some crazy reason I wanted to grow up! And my mom telling me to enjoy it because the older you get the faster time goes. Boy was she ever right!

There is the saying "Don't wish your life away".  The phrase runs through my mind when ever I hear someone say something like "I wish this was Friday" or "I can't wait for the weekend". I do this too and then I find myself to kicking myself because I too am wishing my life away! Stop it!! It's already going by too fast!

So as I approach the end of yet another school year, a year that has been hard, challenging, frustrating and darn right miserable at times I look back at the past 179 days of school and to be truthful I don't regret a minute of wishing it was the next day or the weekend, or Thanksgiving or Christmas break, counting down the days, and now finally to the final day. Amen! Good riddance! It's been a good year job-wise. I like my job and most of the kids-I learn from them and they are fun to watch and be around. I have not accomplished as much as I'd like to, be being tied down from 8:18 a.m. to well after 2:30 or even 3:30 most days makes it hard to get things done. I like to accomplish things and make changes. Make a difference. And even if there were 25-hours in a day I would NOT want that extra hour at work. NO WAY. It's amazing how one person can make or break your day. Sad but true. And now I have the task to accomplish a great deal in the few extra days they give me-wishful thinking on their part and common sense for me, as it can't be done. I won't beat myself up to try to get it done. I'll do what I can and the rest will be here waiting for me in August. Oh well....more work, less time and pay seems to be the norm.

So with the prospect of five whole days to get as much as I can done and then I'm on to summer, finally I can't wait to get done and get out! Then the personal challenge of staying motivated when time is my own and my list is flexible. I'm a creature of habit, we all are but I thrive on a daily schedule. And like a little kid who's had too much candy I can get off task when I have too much time on my hands. A good book will find me blowing a whole day away reading! A "to-do" list and goals make my day on track and worth doing. But the freedom to do them at my own pace is wonderful advantage. And if I find a project that keeps me busy and I can't wait to do and accomplish, then I'm thrilled and wishing for a 25-hour day! So I need to find those projects and dig in my heels and get to work and stay on schedule. Maybe and extra hour in the day to spend with my family or read or ride my bike might be more like it, rather then to get more work done!

So here's to the 2013-14 school year-it wasn't good nor was it bad. I'm just glad you are over. And on to the summer! Amen!  

Positive thought of the day: The weather is beautiful! Thank you God!!

Wrong on so many levels!

Okay people, what is wrong with this picture???? I love Oreos, double stuff, mint and when they had the coffee flavor all were my favorites. And I love watermelon-healthy, yet tastie! But putting these two together is so not right! I don't care if they made the cookie vanilla flavored. This is just not right!
This is not the first time I've seen/had things together that should not be! But this is just taking things a bit too far!

One of the worse things I've ever tasted was a "make do" attempt by my mom once. She made the best tuna noodle casserole with tuna, white sauce with cheese, buttery noodles and a crust on the top and bottom of crispy potato chips! Yum, yum, yum!!! So good. Until one time. Mom didn't have many potato chips so she improvised with what she had, Doritos. I like Doritos, but NOT in tuna noodle casserole. She saved the few potato chips she had for the top and covered the little bit of Doritos she put on the top with cheese! It looked good at first glance and from a distance. But the bottom of the casserole was fully loaded Doritos!! Okay, first off it was the unexpected taste of Doritos instead of potato chips, I'll admit this. But then the taste in general was wrong. Just so wrong. Yes I was a very picky eater as a kid. But this was not happening. I picked through the casserole eating noodles, tuna and avoiding the Doritos as if they would kill me. I made sure to proclaim something was terribly wrong with the family favorite after first bite. Meanwhile my brother and dad ate as if all was right in the tuna noodle casserole world! My mom took it all in good nature. And it was a running joke between the two of us the rest her life. It still makes me smile and laugh. But I hope she knew how much I loved her cooking and how good of a cook she was-worlds best in my book and limited picky palate. Despite my size and lack of weight, I truly loved my mom's cooking.

So what so wrong things have you encountered in your day, week or life?!

Positive thought of the day: It's crazy busy with the end of the school year but I LIKE it. Keeps me very, very busy! Nothing worse than boredom!

A little crazy. A little nuts

What drives you crazy or nuts? Is it another person's annoying habit? Or a phrase? Or a song that you absolutely can not stand? No this is not an essay question like "what I did on my summer vacation?" I'm just asking!

Regardless of what gets on your nerves and for whatever reason, it just does. And for everyone it is something different. No explanation necessary. Everyone has their triggers!
People are predictable. We all have our little "habits" I sure do!!!

I have a friend who can't go two seconds without a "man" in her life and she is constantly talking about men (and not always good men). I usually tune her out but try to do so in a none-rude way.  Her habits have been anything but normal, and have boarded on dangerous and just plain stupid. She is so desperate to be loved and adored. It's a annoying but also heartbreaking at time to witness. She won't ever be happy unless she ends up with a saint, with a lot of money! And she'll talk about it every chance she gets!! Get a hobby honey!

I have another friend who takes comfort in food...they are always planning and looking ahead to the next meal or two or three. I'm guessing it may come from a childhood of not having a lot but its a habit to a fault and usually the source of amusement. I know a lot of people find comfort in food. I can go without meals and not miss a beat so I have no idea what or when my next meal will come!

I had a friend in high school who every day at the lunch table would blow her nose while the rest of us continued to eat our lunch. Talk about an appetite spoiler-ugh. It ruined my appetite every single time for me. Still does if I let myself think about it. I'm not sure if she realized how rude and disgusting this was but it was not good. I hope she's figured it out as an adult.

I can't stand loud people. This might come from my light and sound sensitivity from migraine headaches. They pollute my space and I've found loud people usually just want to be noticed. It's suppose to be all about them! I don't care if it is, just do it quietly-please!!!

I can't stand the songs "I shot the sheriff" or "Chantilly lace". The first one I've always found just plain dumb-that's all, just dumb. The second song irritates me from annoyingly being sung over and over and over again by someone. Hear things too much and you learn to dislike them-intensely!

I also really dislike loose toilet seats. Women will understand what I mean here. The ones where you go to sit down and it feels like your going to end up on the floor cause they slip off the toilet bowl! I've contemplated carrying a screwdriver in my purse and tightening the darn screws on the crazy things in public bathrooms. How hard is it to fix??? Less than 10 seconds of work! Getting a thrill ride on a toilet seat is NOT my idea of fun!

Everyone has their things that drive them a little nuts and/or a little crazy. Then we rant, we swear, we yell and we repeat this procedure each time we have the experience again. 
Think I'll head to the lunch room and see if I can find a lunch buddy who is loudly talking about their NEXT meal and single men, while blowing their nose all while I eat and I'll listen to "I shot the sheriff" and "Chantilly Lace"! But first I'll hit the restroom, WITH a screw driver in my hand!!! Toilets of the word beware!!!

Positive thought of the day: Five days of school left!!! Yay!! I know, I need to get a life or a hobby!

Willing to change

Life is full of changes. Constant changes. And how well you deal with and adapt to these changes says a lot about you! Looking at things in a different way or willing to change your views probably means you are a little more acceptable to life, and whatever comes your way. Being less rigid and never willing to think outside the box probably means you are stubborn and tend to eat the same things all the time and do the same things all the time. A big time creature of habit.

But what happens when people just try something new? Miracles happen!!! Yes, I'm being sarcastic here but getting people to look at things in a different light some times, or most times for some, is a small miracle. Maybe trying a different food is out of your element but at least trying is an accomplishment. A step in a different direction, I didn't say right here, just different. Trying a different wall color or watching a new television program (although I think watching too much TV turns your brain to mush) expands our horizons and helps us open up and look at life just a little bit differently. There are lessons all around us. Watching ESPN or sports center is not going to help you do your job better or keep you on top of threatening weather! Wake up, there is more to life.

But seeing the forest for the trees is an old expression but I know people who daily don't see the forest for the tress. They are so set in their ways they don't even see the forest some days. They see things only how they want to. When they want to. And that's it. Nothing else. No options.  Boy are they missing out.  Unless their "go to" person tells them to do differently? Does everyone have "go to person"? Ya know, that one person you go to with everything? That person that if they said spend $700 on a dishwasher or eat peanut butter on rye bread you would do, regardless if you liked it or wanted to? I don't have a "go to" person, never have. I like to look at many options and be independent. Yes I will ask and listen to other people's opinions and ideas.  And yes lots of times those other options cloud my decision making process. But weighing out the pros and cons, the options both ways and finally what my gut feeling says are all part of my decision making, not one person. I try to look at the whole picture from several, not all, sides-I am only human.

I like change. I like keeping up on the current news or what is trending. If I didn't I would not be working or able to work in technology. If I only worked with Apple products I would never be able to fix that PC or figure out why it won't connect to the network. Looking outside the "Apple" box and willingness to learn why that PC or whatever is the PC in your life makes things more interesting and fun. It challenges you and makes you learn something new. I love to learn new things. It keeps my mind working and helps keep me young.

My willingness to change may be as small as changing my nail color or as big as a different hair cut or a new job-it's a change, big or small and I try to look at changes from many different angles in life. But LOOK people!!! Open your eyes! Stop being so rigid in your views that you cover up beauty or miss it because you don't want to look at change.  Just because it's not in your plans does not mean its not an option. From small changes come big differences, even if it's not in your plans!

One small positive of the day: I challenge you to make a change, even just one tiny change, in your day. Find it. Embrace it and learn from it. Adapt a little. If God didn't want you to at least look at and think about it he would not have brought you into your life. 

A front row seat...

We all have our favorite places to sit! If it's at the movie theater maybe you like to be middle center. Or in a class-are you a front row seat kind of person or a back row, closest to the door-person. I guess it depends on if you like the class or not! Or if it is a Broadway show or a favorite sporting event or concert, you try to get front and center. Everyone wants the best seat in the house then!

And we should have that same approach and feelings with our life-the best seat in house! But some times lives throws you a curve ball and you don't want to be in that front seat of the roller coaster called life. Sometimes you would rather choose to be father back, or even in the back row. Ah, but once again, we are not in control of where we sit! God is. And he puts us in the front seat for a reason, even when we don't want to be.

Life hands us happy and joyous times-when we want to be in the front seat and have the best view. And it hands us sad, sorrowful, difficult times where we often choose a seat farther back-in hopes to cushion the blow. Why people do what they do and the decisions they make, no one knows, including themselves some days. Why something matters so much, we don't know, nor should judge. When someone makes a life changing decision and thinks only of themselves and not the repercussions it will have on all those around them, well unfortunately this is normal. It's life you take it, you deal with it, or you don't and you get through it...but  Life. Goes. On.

Being put in the front seat is some times an honor-I think! I remember vividly during some kind of Catholic school singing session I was in 3rd or 4th grade while a favorite teacher, Sister Anngel (pronounced Ann-gel) was playing the guitar and leading us in singing. I suddenly was called to the front to sit on the stool next to her while she played and sang!! I read the music off the same music stand she did-what a thrill for this elementary aged kid! But I was very self-conscience and nervous and thrilled all at the same time. And to this day have no idea why she did that? Was I being loud and out of tune?! (probably!) I was singing, as I loved to sing, so it could not be because I wasn't singing! And she was a favorite teacher of mine-my first grade teacher who go me through when I was scared and unsure. For whatever reason I was put there I don't know. But it left a lasting memory. I was front row!!! Front and center, above the crowd!!

Bringing back old memories, and not always the good ones, is part of life. When someone shares with you feelings and events because they need someone to talk to, and listen, it's what you do for the people you love and care about.

I was once again put in the front row in the past 12 hours when family members needed someone. First last night with a sibling who was dealing with emotions brought back up from many years ago when dealing with a parent needed someone to talk to after having the a similar experience. The conversation brought back feelings and emotions that I had suppressed and put in the back of my mind and old emotions that I seldom think about-not such happy memories.  And then again at 4 a.m. this morning when a very hurting, sad and at times angry family member contacted me. I listened and replied from my heart. Did I have words of wisdom for her-I just tried to be supportive. Did I bring her comfort, I hope so. But just listening, I hope helped her. For over an hour I shared the front seat with her and was there for her to the best of my ability, listening and trying to comfort and sharing. And as this new day was dawning I tried to bring a little sunshine into her life by bringing up happy memories-trying to help her see even a tiny ray of light.

So where ever you choose to sit in any given situation you may think you are the one choosing where you sit, but in all reality you are not...God is directing you to sit where he wants you to sit. We are just along for the ride, where ever we are sitting.

I don't like being in the front seat-I prefer the middle towards the back, where I can see but not be so noticed! I'm not a front and center kind of gal! But yet I want to see what is going on and learn from it.

So I need to try to remember to sit in that front seat more often, stop hiding in the middle or back and live life to the fullest! It's where all the action is. And I'd rather reach the end of my life living it than watching it happen.

One positive thought of the day: I like to believe there is not just one seat in the front row of our lives. I believe there is room enough for two or as many people who want to be a part! Together it is more fun!

The ripple effect

Little do we ever realize what kind of affect we have on other people or their lives. It does not matter how big or small the rock or pebble is when thrown into a calm lake-it makes ripples big and small, stretching far and wide.

Your thoughts, words and actions reach far and wide when you do anything. It can be as simple as a kind word or a cutting comment that affects someone's day or life.

Life is short and what you make of it, what you do affects you first and everyone around you second. Even if you don't know them or know them well.

Be kind to people. Think before you act or speak. And remember more people care about you than you'll ever know.

Positive thought of the day: Life. Enjoy it. It's too short. 

The ups and downs and ins and outs!

Since this is the week of Mother's day I thought I'd hit on the ups and downs, in's and out's of motherhood and being a mom. After all I've been a mom for almost 26 years, so I do think maybe I might have some experience and some insight!

Mother's day to me is an opportunity to appreciate what you have, the good and bad! I had a fantastic mom and lots of great memories. And to be truthful I appreciate mother's day even more since mom is gone, more than I ever did before. The saying, "you don't know what you have until it's gone" rings very true. That's not to say I didn't appreciate my mom before she was gone. I just find myself appreciating even more all she did, taught me and all she means to me.

I lacked experience, BIG time when it came to motherhood. I had three nieces just 7, 10 and 12 years younger than me, more like little sisters than nieces. So we hung out. I learned about caring for them and all the essential things but we had fun mostly. Yes I'm the fun aunt when it came to these three, especially the oldest! I'd like to think I still am!! I hope they have good memories of me and the laughter we shared.

So when I brought that first baby home 26 years ago and was left alone less than three hours out of the hospital I did panic a bit! Ryan was not a difficult baby (none of my kids were-thank goodness), I just didn't know all all the ropes. Did I make mistakes, you bet! I still do. But I also learned and made sure I did things differently than my parents did-and I think my parents did a pretty good job with me but there is always room for changes and improvements! I spent as much time as I could with my kids. We did craft times, we read. I made their clothes, we watched movies. We worked together. I tried to teach them manners and how to be resourceful and creative and appreciate what they do and don't have. I didn't have the privilege of having any grandparents so I wanted to make sure my kids appreciate and enjoyed and made memories with their grandparents while they had them. And I did things the same for Ashlyn and Ranen too, but there are times you customize what you do because each child is different in a variety of ways. Just because they are siblings does not mean they are cookie cutter kids and the three of them the same-no way. Each one has their talents and their weaknesses. You learn how to deal with situations with each one differently. It's what makes us each unique. I tired not to judge or compare my kids to each other. I was often compared to my oldest sister, who is a nun but NO one can live up to that. I didn't try nor did I care to try to be like her, it wasn't me. I love my sister dearly but I could never be like her-I have nothing but respect for her. She is the most like my mom-even sounds like her. We are all unique!

I try not to interfere in my kids lives now that they are adults. There are many times I want to pick up the phone and call them just to hear the sound of their voices and hear about how their day is or what is going on in their lives. But I often stop myself because I don't want to interfere or be a nosy mom and I know they are very very busy. I just want to hear their voices! Thank goodness for texting though! It's the next best thing. :)

With my kids I've dealt with colic, skinned knees, glasses and contacts, clothes they outgrew after wearing once, nasty friends and their mothers, first day of school jitters, jobs, money, career or life decisions and a whole host of other things. It is all part of life. But I am so thankful for these three, normal, healthy people that I brought into this world and had the opportunity to raise. They are God's gift to me and I was lucky enough to be chosen to be their mom.

Yes motherhood has it's ups and downs but I mostly remember the ups! The good times, the laughter and the fun. We've gotten each other through a lot. I depend on my kids as much as they depend on me. You see I've grown as much as they have and I will continue to learn, grow and change just as they are. We've grown up together. And you are never too old to learn. So whatever the future holds for all of us I am thankful for the times, opportunity and the gift each one has been in my life. I know they are gifts from God. Thank you!

No one ever said motherhood was easy but it's been the most rewarding and biggest blessing I've had in my life. Appreciate anyone who's been like a mom to you-it takes a village. I certainly didn't do it alone!

Positive thought of the day: Spring,  despite it taking a long time to get here, brings to me a feeling of renewed and refreshed. Be it washing winter coats and putting them away until later this year or the new growth of flowers or the windows I've washed. Things look so much brighter! (even better when I have my contacts in or glasses on!) 

NO Filters!

Are there no filters left???? And I'm not talking about coffee filters or furnace filters, I mean people's lives, their mouths and their brains!

I am constantly surprised, maybe a bit shocked, by what people share. I grew up in a very quiet, private family. We didn't feel the need to broadcast everything. If we bought a new car we didn't share every detail of the shopping or purchasing process, we just showed up with a new vehicle-it's just a car, it's not that big of a deal. But that is certainly not the case now!

Holy cow people! With social media and the opportunity to broadcast (yes, that's the best way I can use to describe it) every and anything you want at the spur of the moment is a free for all. It seems like all filters are gone and whatever pops into people's heads comes shooting out of their thumbs or fingers and on to Facebook or Twitter. Technology is wonderful, but it seems all filters have disappeared with it.

And it's not so much the info is private, shocking or should be kept personal, its the fact that having this garbage take up our time is an utter waste of valuable time. Life if too short. And I don't want to know!!!

It's not just on social media though where the filters are gone...people talk, share and find the need to let other people know personal aspects of their lives if given the opportunity, at every opportunity. I don't care what you ate for breakfast or what you are wearing to workout in after work! Is it because of social media or because people have nothing else to do, or think people care, or need to hear or is it because we've become a society of materialist people. a ME society? I guess it could be all of the above.

I keep going back to a quote I heard Betty White, the actress, say when asked of she used facebook-"It seems like a terrible waste of time," was her comment. This from an 80+ age person who is still working and making people laugh and living life to the fullest. True! And yes I do waste time on social media-I admit it. I love to read and not so much about peoples lives but I follow pages from sources that relate or interest me.

I'm sure to some people I may seem cold or uncaring but life is too short. I've adopted the four question rule that I roll through my mind when I'm about to say something or when I'm feeling or bother by something-Will it matter in an hour? Will it matter in a day? Will it matter in a month? Or will it matter in a year? If I answer NO to any of these I let it go and move on. 

I know there is no way I can control what people say or think or post but I can continue to walk away and live life rather than listen, read or act that what is being said is important. If you had one week to live would you stand around and listen to someone else talk about how much they've exercised or what they ate for supper last night or something else mindlessly personal? If you come to talk to me about the cure for cancer you discovered in your basement, then I'll listen!! Or if you just need someone to listen, I'll listen!
Life is too short to waste on other people's unfiltered lives! TMI (too much information)!

Positive of the day: We had a peek of sunshine for the first time in a few days! Yay!!! : )