The great TP incident

I'm not too particular about somethings. Yes I am choosy when it comes to coffee or the gin in a gin and tonic or how I want my steak cooked--rare. But there are somethings in life I really don't give a second thought to..and I recently found out that maybe I do care or should care about somethings more than I should.

My lesson here came in the form of toilet paper. Yes, you read that right, toilet paper. I typically just stroll through the TP aisle at the grocery store and pick up what looks like it will do the trick and get on with life. I occasionally make this purchase through a warehouse store, meaning I bring home a ginormous amount of toilet paper and we are set for a few months or more. I've never been very particular about my purchases of this particular item. But last fall I made a purchase at a warehouse store and really didn't give it any thought to what I picked out other than it was a big package! That is until I got home and opened the huge package a few days later. Big mistake. I work for a public school system and the TP at school is like using sheets of paper...paper, like sheets of notebook paper kind of toilet paper. Well this bulk package of TP was just like the notebook paper I live with everyday at work...awful. So last fall and through the holidays I had this crappy, shitty or however you want to describe it toilet paper. It was not fun and I found myself kind of embarrassed about the whole situation as the holidays and family came home. I bought a better kind of TP putting it out when we had company and I would switch back to the notebook TP for the rest of the time. Well here I am seven whole months later and FINALLY the notebook toilet paper is almost gone-Alleluia! I'd like to do a toilet paper happy dance but it just seems a bit over the top.

So the life lesson learned here is to pay attention when making purchases that are close to you! And if you take something for granted, think again before you buy 45 rolls of it and you are stuck using it for seven blessed months...unless you are planning on handwriting a novel and want to do it on a roll...many, many, rolls!

Keeping your passion

We all have things we are passionate about. Things that we love to do. If your work is your passion and you look forward to going to work every day, then you are very, very blessed. For others passion could be a hobby like reading or fishing or mountain climbing or movie watching. We all have our "thing".

For me it is dance and it has been for years. Dance makes me happy. No I probably don't move like I used to and I've put my love of dance into coaching. I have for 23 years. I have both fond and happy memories along some less than happy memories from those years. But I'd like to think that for those few tough times I've got 100+ times and memories that are happy, the good has always out weighted the bad 100-times over. The laughter and smiles I've seen from "my kids" make those tough times worthwhile.

But as we all know times, kids and parents have changed. We have a society of "experts" coming in the form of kids and parents or kids who have been told they are the experts by said parents. Those who think they know better and the parents who want to run the show. I will be the first to admit that the past couple of years have been tough. From very poor behavior coming from one of my athletes to girls and their mama's who are, well....just plain mean girls. The moms are still living in their high school years...and they act pretty poorly but that is their business. The sad thing is they are raising daughters who have no values or character and continue to act just like them as adults...follow the same path. This in turns make working in education and coaching tough.

And what my coaching future holds is my decision. Yes, I have a few people around me telling me what they think I should do. But honestly none of them have walked in my shoes. I'm not going to argue with them about their perspective. But it is easy to give someone your opinion. For me walking away is heartbreaking. With 20+ years of blood, sweat, tears, laughter, smiles and happy memories it would be a tough thing to let go. Letting someone win is not how I do things. I'm not in it to win anything but I'm also not in this to let a couple of "mean girls" get their way. Yes, it's a matter of pride but it's also for all those kids who have touched my life over the past 20+ years. The girls and boys who I still see and hear from. I'm not sure what I've taught all those athletes over the years, I hope they learned something from Dance Team. But it's just as much for me what I've learned from them. The smiles when they dance in front of home fans. The pride when they earn a trophy at state competition. Or the friendships they've formed from teammates they otherwise may have never gotten to know. All these kids have crossed my path and I've lived and learned from all of them. More from some, than others.

I'm honestly torn right now...my heart and head are saying one thing while a few around me say otherwise. The lack of support is disappointing and sad to say the least. My heart is sad because of the lack of support and the fact that where I go from here I will be doing alone without support-but lack of support in education is nothing new. I avoid the subject around a few choice people because they've made their feelings know and I know I don't have the support.

The phrase "one more year" rolls thought my mind. I'd rather have six good, hard working, good hearted dancers than lazy athletes who only make things a priority when they want to. I don't want the past year or two to define me, decide for me. I also don't want to give up just because the going has gotten tough.

When I took this program over 23 years ago it was a small program with a half dozen performances during basketball season. I've fought tooth and nail for respect and a ton of hard work and I've made it a little bit bigger. Has my program run it's course? Is this just a rough patch? I don't want to give it up and hand it over to someone who will destroy it and I leave because of a few bad apples. I feel like I'm running from a fight rather than standing strong. There will always be haters. That's life.

My lack of dance in my life has made me sad and has an affect on my creativity-big time. I'm one of those people who has to create every day. I mean every single day. This can range from organizing to creating something. I need it, I live for it, it's who I am. I still 8-count music and feel the tempo. I still envision moves in my mind with music as well....

The phrase "When the going gets tough, the tough get going" just keeps coming to mind. I'm pretty sure I'm tough as I've made it through every tough day that's came my way in life so far, so I've got a pretty good track record, but so does anyone who is still alive!

What are you?

I recently read a story, more like a life lesson, about comparing a carrot, an egg and coffee beans. I like to eat all three! But this was a story about how you react. It goes like this..there are three pans of boiling water, in the first you put the carrot-strong but with the boiling water it become soft and looses it's strength. In the second pan you put an egg-a hard outer shell but liquid on the inside. In the boiling water the egg looks the same on the outside but inside becomes hard and stiff. And finally in the last pan of boiling water you put the coffee beans-the beans are hard and solid but rather than change with the water they change the water.

How do you handle the boiling water and adversity in life? Are you a carrot, egg or coffee bean?

I will admit I vary at times. I'd like to think I'm the coffee bean changing everything around me, making the boiling water smell and taste better than it did before. But I have been a carrot and an egg in the boiling water of life.

The happiest people may not have the best of everything but make the best of what they have-I love and know people like this. Too often we compare ourselves to others. I find this has become a big problem with social media. Too often we compare our lives to others. And honestly I question a lot of what people post. Some people are all perfect and happy. Others are doom and gloom. Like the lady who shared her story of her son with cancer with me a couple of years ago when I stopped in the local Walgreens, often we share our stories at strange times and with strangers because we are afraid to tell those who are close to us-I've done this. My theory is no one wants to hear all your problems and if something great happens I don't want someone to think I'm bragging or wanting attention. Stealth-mode!

Then there are those people who only see every thing as a catastrophe...it is awful and terrible. Being around this kind of person is very draining, hard and often turns people into negative people or turns them away. Life has it's good and bad. If you have a couple of good friends, someone to talk to that helps you through the tough times and laughs with you through the good times you are very blessed. The thing is you have to take the good with the bad and life is not a catastrophe unless it is something like a holocaust or some kind of disaster. Life is not that bad unless you are going through something really bad-my family has faced cancer, illness and death in the past year-the term catastrophe never crossed my mind. We had three weddings and a lot of happiness with those tough times. And we all gathered to celebrate, support and remember-that's life.

So today I'd like to think I'm a coffee bean, making the world around me more colorful, smell better (I did shower and I got new perfume over the weekend!) and full of more flavor! But I'm sure I'll be a carrot and an egg at times too, but for today I'm a coffee bean! May your day and week be boiling water free and if it's not I hope you're a coffee bean!

The fine art of people watching!

**Yes, this is my second post of the day purely because I forgot to post my blog yesterday when I was feeling inspired. So here is Monday's thoughts.

People watching! Some people love to do this but honestly I feel like this is a dying art! My dad loved to watch people-I learned from him. He would patiently wait in the car when my mom was shopping or at an appointment and watch people. He enjoyed just watching.

I enjoy doing this too. I often make up stories, situations or scenarios to go with the people I am observing. And in this day and age people are missing out as they usually have their noses buried in their electronic devices, cell phones, kindles, laptops or whatever. Look up and watch the world around you! You might just learn something!

The idea for today's blog came to me yesterday as I was eating alone at a fast food restaurant. A couple of tables over was a couple with two small children. The older of the two children liked a lot of attention and was pushing his parents buttons as much and as often as he could. The younger child was a patient child who probably was more entertain by his older brother and why he was quieter and better behaved-built in entertainment! I first listened to this young family then I started to watch them out of the corner of my eyes. The parents were patient and in good humor with the challenges of eating out with two little ones. The oldest child wanted to sit at his own table and kept making observations about what was going on outside and the people in the cars in the drive thru. It was humorous and entertaining to watch and listen to this family of four. The parents had a lot of patience with both their children answering questions, politely asking the older child to sit down and eat and praising the younger child for behaving and eating so well. It reminded me of my family when my kids were that age!

In another section of the dining area was an older couple. They took their time sitting there eating and not saying much to one another. In my mind I made them to be very comfortable with each other and not having a need to talk but just being together was enough. I've always wondered if couples every run out of things to talk about.

At a table around the corner from me was another couple, again older. With this couple the female did all the talking and the man just listened. I don't think he could get a word in! The lady was very opinionated and had a lot to say, I didn't eavesdrop but just listened to the tone, the body language of both. I kind of felt sorry for the guy but he ate and nodded and listened for the most part. I really wonder how much he heard!

It was nice to sit there and watch and listen to what was going on around me. I've learned as a parent and as someone who works in education you can learn a lot by listening and watching, sometimes more than you want to. But you can tell a lot about a person by their body language and tone.

I think we all just need to put down our electronic devices look up and watch the world and people around us. You may just be entertained or learn something or you may be able to help someone, all you have to do is watch.

Good luck grads

It is graduation time of year and as a school district employee I usually get invited to a couple of graduations every year, or several, which is the norm.

This year is an unusual year with five weekends of receptions starting the first weekend of the month and running through the first weekend of next month. Usually they are all in two-to-three weekends.

And true to form the graduation invites came from expected and unexpected graduates. It is always interesting to see who invites you because you had an impact, or because you are friends with the parents, or they just felt the need to invite every individual that came in contact with the person or because they want a gift or money or think they are popular.

This year's class was a love-hate group for me and I mean that in the kindest way. The athletes were a talented group, reaching post season in most every sport. The girls of this class were a class act, for the most part. The males on the other hand lacked and there were several  that the school staff is thinking "I'm glad they are gone" kind of guys. Some of these kids were pretty darn smart, others struggled. There is a student who has to retake a class for the third time this summer in order to get his high school diploma-but yet he got to walk at the graduation ceremony...I won't even go there. Then there is the young lady who has cruise through her entire educational career with the attitude that she was above and better than everyone, including the adults/teachers. She thinks she's God's gift to the world, which she is. But what she doesn't understand is that everyone else is God's gift to the world as well...someday someone will inform this arrogant young lady how to be a TEAM player, that your not better than everyone else and the word HUMBLE is a good word to learn about and add to your vocabulary and remember. She needs a lesson on how to treat people-all people.

Graduation this year did not include a guest speaker  at commencement who typically follows the protocol of wishing the class best of luck and offering sound words of advice for their futures. Instead this class asked each class member and "certain" adults from the school district to create a short video which was all put together for one long presentation...it's a great idea other than there were some "key adult players" left out of this farewell video. There were adults who should have been included and were not. The senior class sponsor dropped the ball as far as making this class accountable and including everyone as well as the young people who headed this well intended little project. I know some people were feeling pretty left out, and sadly after all the work that has been done for this group of kids to educate them and help them succeed, some people are more than happy to see this group to go because of this sour ending. (No I didn't get asked to make a video and  honestly I was relieved! No thank you!) This was kind of a bitter end to a group that had as many smart, good kids as to the dumb asses and lazy piles.

So as graduation time draws to a close it is with no regret and more of a feeling of good riddance I find myself feeling towards this class. Yes one, or two and even three bad apples does spoilt the whole bunch, which was the case with this group. I'm sure those who were successful in high school will continued to be successful in their future endeavors. You can pretty much tell those who will go far, and not look back. And regardless best of luck to all graduates. The future is all yours.

Mother's day

Another mother's day is upon us. I have a love-hate relationship with this holiday.
I loved mother's day when I was a kid. It involved making cards and small gifts made at school for my mom. Later as I got older I would pick out and give my mom gifts that I hoped she would enjoy and use.  As life got busier my mother's days spent with my mom got few and farther between. And I remember sitting in church 29-years ago on mother's day Sunday, very pregnant and wondering how I would do as a mom and when would this baby would arrive. There has been 28 mothers days since I became a mom for the first time. Good, bad or otherwise I've tried and I have a lot of wonderful memories of my own mother's days spent with my own kids.

Five years ago this weekend was one of the hardest mother's day I've ever had to go through. My mom was dying. The woman who always had an endless spirit, love and sense of humor was leaving this world. Since then my mother's days have been difficult and lonely. There is something missing every year. Plain and simple I miss my mom-a lot. And until you've walked this road you won't understand. I miss the sound of her voice-I can still hear her voice. I miss her blue eyes. Her hardworking hands her sense of humor and her kind words.

If you still have your mom...enjoy that blessing. If you don't cherish the memories.

Thunder and lightning and rain....oh my!

Do you get the play on words in this blog title? I was going to title it "When Jesus wakes you up" but I like a good play on words!

For the second time this week thunderstorms have rolled in during the nighttime or early morning-depending on how you look at it! Monday morning it was around 1:30 and again two hours later when thunderstorms quickly trekked across the area making lots of noise and retina burning lightning. I honestly think those storms had more show than rain in them.

But this morning after 4:30 a.m., or at 4:47 a.m. to be exact, Mother Nature pushed the thunderstorm button once again. And she pushed it hard this morning! This line of storms had a lot of thunder and lightning in then and rain. A LOT! A thunder clap at 4:47 a.m. was so loud and hard that it shook the windows and woke me, and probably others out of sound sleep with a startle which was not how I had planned to start the day. But after I got my heart settled down and stopped shaking I laid there listening and watching and counting. I listened to the thunder rolling in. The lightning was sharp and hard I'm sure a photographers paradise. And as I was taught as a kid I counted between the lightning and thunder to figure out how far away the storm was. And then I was thankful. Thankful for the ability to hear and see the storm. And for the opportunity to lay there and enjoy the show that was being put on. And the rain that followed.

I wasn't planning on waking up 13 minutes early but I guess someone had other plans. And despite the fact that it was a startling way to wake up it was kind of cool to see and hear the force of nature.

This is a seven image composite of a storm over Clear Lake, IA on Tuesday night. It too was loaded with a lot of lightning. You can't control nature you just have to ride the storm out and take the good with the bad!