What happened to kindness?

People are pretty unkind to one another. I don't know if it is worse now than it used to be but kind is not the norm, anymore.

I was brought up in a household where we helped one another. Family helped each other. Friends helped one another. Neighbors helped one another. You helped strangers. It just is what you did. We helped one another.

I don't know what happened along the way but helping one another and being nice has gone to hell in a handbasket.

I watched my dad and mom help one another every single day of their lives together. They helped one another in every aspect of their lives.

I'm an independent, strong-willed female and I will help if at all possible-I can't fix a car, but if you need me to show up and take you to an appointment, I'll do it. I've watched over the past few years, people of my own generation just sit. Sit and watch. Sit and watch and not do a blessed thing to help one another. What happened? Ignoring one another is the new norm? I understand why we have a younger generation of people who don't know how to help one another, who are self-entitled, self-centered lazy individuals who will only help if it benefits themselves. These kids don't volunteer or help anyone out. When now live in a society who don't open doors for one another, or pick up after themselves because we have an adult generation who are, for last of a better word, pretty uncaring and self-centered and the same way as the kids. No wonder our kids are like that.

I am a female who was brought up by a mom who worked her tail off and helped both on the farm and to run a house and raise a family I have pretty much followed in the same footsteps as my mom. But my mom and dad too helped one another and helped others. I work to make and do things for my family, just like my parents did. The difference now, no one helps. As a kid, I helped my mom. I watched my dad help my mom. That doesn't happen now, or seldom if it does.

What is wrong with giving your time? I now watch people of my generation just sit and not help, not volunteer. They ignore or just sit instead of helping one another. I'm willing to volunteer my time, to help someone out. But from my coworkers to friends and to family who don't lift a finger to help each other. What has happened along the way?

I'm partially mad at my self for allowing people to treat me like I have. For not speaking up. For not saying things like "you need to help" or "you need to do this' or just plain saying "HELP me". As a female, I have allowed men in my life to be lazy, chauvinistic individuals. Gender should have absolutely nothing to do with if you help someone or not. There is no such thing as "women's work". We don't live in the 1950s. I work outside the home and when I step foot inside my home I switch jobs. I don't sit around watching tv eating bonbons and I don't do things when or if I want to. I do it because it needs to be done or because if I don't do it it won't get done and because it should be done. This is how I've allowed people around me to act and behave...and I'm mad at myself. From work and the adults around me to the kids, I deal with every day...they all have blinders on to helping one another. What had happened to society?

I can tell you that kids now have no idea how to give of their time and talents nor how to volunteer because the adults have likewise have become a bunch of self-centered individuals who somewhere along the way have forgotten how to help one another and how to be kind...it's time for this to change. And for me, well I'm going to start calling people out. I'll probably be referred to as the crazy old lady in the nursing home who is telling everyone what to do, but otherwise, no one will be doing anything. Sad but true.

Open your eyes, put down your phone, and your self-centered attitude and open a door, help carry something for someone, volunteer, do what is right, do your part....be kind.

Thankful and grateful

It's November, that time of year where we draw special attention to everything we are thankful for. In my humble opinion, I wish this was the mindset of more people all year long, every day, rather than one month and day in particular but it's better than nothing. This is the time of year to appreciate what you have and who you have in your life. We are so blessed!

I try to do this every day, some days I rock the "thankful" thing, other days not so much. I'm human. From the fact that I wake up every morning (even though it was at 4 a.m. with a headache today, I woke up) to the people and blessings I have in my life, I try to be grateful. I always try to remember the saying "what if you only woke up today with what you were thankful for yesterday?". Wow, if that doesn't make you pause to appreciate and be thankful for what you have then I don't know what will.

We are doing a gratitude activity at work where we can write three co-workers, of our choice, a note with the premises of what and why we appreciate and are thankful for them. My first thoughts went to what about those who don't get a note of appreciation from any of their coworkers. I've been off the "list" with these kinds of activities before. I was typically one of the last ones chosen for teams in school (until high school when I learned not to be so shy). It is no fun to be left out and overlooked. It makes you question your worth and your whole being-it really kind of hurts. So on Monday I went to my coworker who is in charge of this activity and asked if she would let me know who does not get an "I appreciate you" note by the deadline. I wanted to make sure everyone got a note to the best of my ability.

Today she came to me with a list of people who she has not gotten an appreciation note to pass along to. I chose a couple, I passed a name or two along to other people who I knew would happily write a note and I tried to make sure everyone is made to feel appreciated. Just a small act of kindness and I know there were a couple of other people on staff who had the same conversation wanting to make sure everyone was recognized and received a note. A little kindness goes a long way.

Every morning and night I take a few moments to appreciate things like a roof over my head, food on the table, a country where freedom is a blessing, my kids and their spouses and the newest members of our family, my granddaughter, and granddog. I also ask for a good day for all my kids and spouses, safe travels to and from their workplace and that they are blessed in whatever way they need to be. I keep it simple and general-God know what each of us needs.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, simply because it is a day to appreciate and eat. To stop, relax, spend time with family and friends and to just be present in the moment. Learning and being thankful every day is a blessing.

An Iowa Hawkeye sweater

As I finish switching from spring/summer to fall/winter clothing this morning I ran across my dad's Iowa Hawkeye sweater. It's been over 18 years and I find this sweater every fall when I take it out of storage and again in the spring when I put it back in a container to store for the warm months. And to be honest, if I've worn the sweater it has been only one or two times. When I started this "tradition" 17 or 18 years ago I know the tears fell and honestly there were a few today. I can see my dad wearing this sweater yet. He was more of an Iowa Hawkeye men's basketball fan rather than football, purely for the fact that he was harvesting in the fall so Saturday football games were not a thing he had time for. You harvested when Mother Nature cooperated.

So today, once again, I ran across this sweater. It no longer smells like my dad, Old Spice was his choice of cologne, or as I always teased him calling it Old Swill! He would laugh every time I'd tell him he smelled good, like Old Swill!! The smell of Old Spice will take me back to my dad and bring back memories at the first whiff whenever I smell it now-they must still make it!

I'm a fall kind of person. I loved harvest time. Honestly, I loved every season on the farm, except for the sweltering hot days of summer and baling hay. So as fall rolls around every year I go back to the farm, harvest, my dad, the sights, smells and all that goes with it.

With the rainy weather we've had this year, I know my dad would be worrying and fretting about getting harvest done and the cost to dry the grain to store it and winterizing everything. I've been off the farm longer than I've been on it now, but I still miss it.

So today when that sweater surfaced I could picture my dad and hear his voice in my head....precious memories. And I would not trade them for anything in the world. All the time, visits, gas money, phone bills, effort, everything was so worth it now as I look back. As I was busy growing up, going to school, getting married and having a family I wanted to keep in touch. My parents were my go-to when I had a question or needed comfort and as I was growing up, they were growing older.

My mom used to go to church every weekday morning at 8 a.m. I would purposely call home after 8 a.m. just so my dad would have to answer the phone, and we would talk, often times until mom would get home from church other times just for five minutes. Dad would typically listen on the phone in the basement when my mom and I talked all the other times, occasionally joining in the conversation. But I would call and talk when mom was gone so just he and I could talk. And once after dad has passed away I called after 8 a.m. wanting to talk and hear his voice one more time, but no one answered. The phone just rang, he didn't pick up the phone. It was a moment of the grieving process for me that hurt like hell.

And now I'm glad I called. I made those phone calls for selfish reasons. For me. For the opportunity. For the memories. And man am I glad I did that. What I would give to be able to do that one more time.

So today the Iowa Hawkeye sweater will go on the shelf with the other sweaters and I'm going to try to make an effort to wear it, even if it's just once, for my dad, for me, for the memories. I miss my dad but I'm so blessed with so many memories. I so glad I made the effort, took the time and spent time with him.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened-thanks Dr. Seuss. 

Welcome to the world!

I. can't. wait!!!

In less than 24 hours, well actually 12 hours, there will be a new baby in this world....my grandchild. And I'm going to be brutally honest I've loved this little since we got the news back in January that they were on their way! And the anticipation and excitement has been fun and wonderful!

And tomorrow, August 8, I have no doubt the most beautiful and precious s/he will make an entrance into this world! (I'm not biased and I'm sure I'll feel this way about every little person that joins our family as well as the four-legged grand-animals that have and will join our families). And this little cutie will make a mom and dad out of my daughter-in-law and son.

This is a new adventure for all of us, grandparents, aunts and uncles and I have a feeling it will be a very fun and memorable one.

So I want to say to this little one, welcome, we've been waiting for you and are so happy you are here. We love you and we are your family!!


I can't wait.

Can you tell I'm excited?!

33 years

I want to take a moment and look at 33 years by the numbers. If you break it down it works out to the following numbers in various degrees!
1,720 weeks and 5 days
395 months and 3 weeks
12,045 days
289,080 hours
17,344,800 minutes
1,040,688,000 seconds
That's a lot of math and those numbers may or may not look like a lot, depending on who you are.

To me, 33 years is 12,045 days that have, for the most part, flown by with a variety of emotions, good, bad, happy, sad, boring, exciting, fun and a whole host of other emotions.

Three landmark days including four pregnancies and three births include June 6, 1988, August 4, 1989, and June 3, 1992, or in other words three kids birth days.

In addition, we have added three more landmark days of July 23, 2016, October 8, 2017, and January 14, 2017, the three marriages of our three kids to landmarks of the past 33 years. And the addition of three more very special people who joined our family.

The past 33 years represent a lot of time, love, commitment, hard work, holidays, birthday's, loads of laundry, a lot of food, shoes, toothbrushes, doctors visits and a ton of other. daily happenings. The holidays, trips, practices, dance classes, graduations, first days, last days, sports, dance performances, family photos, off to college, engagements and a host of other events.

It has included the passing of one grandparent, three parents, a brother and a sister-in-law. The birth of three kids, 9 nieces, and nephews, and one great-nephew.

We have seen friends come and go. And said goodbye to people we miss along with welcomed new friends and family into our lives. Buying a house, a wide variety of pets, vehicles, first dates, prom clothing, speech contests, basketball camps, drivers licenses and a ton of other memories.

But to me a represents a whole lot of love and a family.

**okay I confess I just googled and it took me to a website that broke it down 33 years by days, month, minutes, seconds, etc. I dislike math too much to go through that much work!

A dog named Murphy

I grew up on a farm and we always had a farm dog and lots of cats. And when it comes to cats vs dogs I would choose cats. I loved our farm dogs over the years while I was growing up, but cats always made their way to the top of my list for a variety of reasons.

So when my daughter and her husband recently adopted a rescue dog I was like cool, good for them. My daughter had wanted a puppy, but like all things small and in the baby stage they require a lot of time and work and attention. A rescue dog made their way into their lives and to say Murphy is a perfect fit for them would be an understatement. He a good-natured, spunky dog who is always smiling, always!

I just dog-sat Murphy for a day and a half and what fun we had. Lots of walks, pet and brushing time, just hanging out and a slumber party! It was a fun 36 hours. I've never met a dog with such an easy going personality but yet some spunk and humor. He listens, which is more than I can say for a lot of humans! He loves attention but yet was fine if I was reading and he was just hanging out.

And the final, and another fun part of my dog-sitting time, going for a ride so Murphy could be shared with his other dog grandparents! Murphy loved his ride. He wanted to drive before we left but opted to be my copilot! He loved looking out the windows, putting his nose in the air conditioner vent and having my hand on him. And best of all, what Murphy is always doing, smiling.

No one knows Murphy's story. Why he came to be in a shelter and how he was rescued from a 30-day kill shelter before that but fate has a way of working things out and bringing things and people and dogs together.

I'm a little lost without Murphy today, I haven't got a walking buddy and I"m sure the house will be quiet and empty when I go over to check on things. But he's obviously a well-rounded dog and I'm sure he is enjoying his time with his other dog grandparents.

Everyone can learn a lesson from Murphy always keep smiling!

My older brother

My oldest brother recently visited for a couple of days and to be honest, it was the first time as an adult that I have spent that much time with him. I had the opportunity to really talk to him. My brother was 10 when I was born and he got married when he was 21. My sister-in-law, his wife, recently passed away unexpectedly so for the past almost year and a half he has had to adjust to life without her.

My memories of my brother have always been the big, protective older brother. My mom would tell the story of how he would carefully put me in the little red wagon and pull me around the yard when I was little. He was careful and protective. He was and still is a gentle, kind guy. I honestly think he would do just about anything for his family and those he cares about. He set a good example and set the bar kind of high for me in regard to how men should treat women.

So the two days we spent together was kind of a get to know opportunity. He has a wonderful memory and could tell me the names, relationships and other tidbits about family members and events. Being the youngest I missed out on things that the four older siblings got to experience or do. He is extremely handy and smart when it comes to figuring things out and fixing things. There isn't much he won't try to fix or do himself-he learned that from my dad. He helped repair a few things. I return did some cooking and we went out to eat a couple of times. But my brother is a really good cook too!

I don't know if he was bored or enjoyed his time here but it was really, really nice. One of the best memories from the two days, when he and I sat outside after dark, watching the stars come out talking about family and life and our kids and the people we missed. It did my heart good and left me with such a great memory.

I'm so blessed to have gotten the opportunity and time to spend with him to make new memories and share old memories too.

Side note, my brother mentioned during his visit that he'd heard loved ones who have passed away are close when you find feathers. He said he had found several feathers over the past year and a half. As he was leaving today and I was standing on the lawn and I looked down as he was backing out of the driveway, and on the ground was a feather. I picked it up and held it up for him to see, he rolled down his window, gave me a thumbs up and smiled...be both knew what it meant.