What July means to me

Here we are to the month of July...over halfway through the year. People say that after the 4th it is all downhill and that school is right around the corner...ugh! Several people have birthdays in July. My daughter was suppose to be born in July, the 28th, but she held out and chose August as her  birth month.
I was suppose to be born in July, the 4th but I showed up a month and a day earlier than planned. Instead my oldest niece was born on the 4th. I was the ripe old age of 7 years old when she was born. A few things about her arrival made an impression on me.
My neighbor growing up was born the 3rd of July, the year before I was born and her name is Lynn Marie too.
My uncle passed away on the 4th of July, and I remember details of the night before and morning of his passing even now and I was just a 4th grader. I have no idea why his death left an impression. It might be because he was the first person close to me to pass away, I'm not sure.
The 4th of July holds lots of great memories for me otherwise. My dad and brothers making the trip down to Missouri to bring home illegal fireworks and all the fun we had with them! (except the one time my mom was goofing around and thought she'd play a trick on my dad or brother and toss a firecracker as they started the pickup and thinking it was back firing. Instead the firecracker had a short fuse and her thumb was injured. She took it in stride and spoke of it years later with a laugh as the trick was on her instead of them). We always had a picnic on the 4th and either shot off our own fireworks or watched the ones from Independence in the evening. Great memories.
The 4th of July was, and probably still one of my favorite holidays, it does not require a lot of work, no shopping for presents and the menu can change by whatever the cook wanted to make. No holiday shopping for items to keep traditions. No 4th of July outfits like at Christmas or Easter. It could be burgers or steaks on the grill or whatever you want. You eat outside and relax and spend the day as you like.
Independence, IA has a great parade, I rode my horse in it a couple of times. It is a real parade with floats, and bands and all the things that a real parade has, usually lasting well over an hour. I still miss the Independence 4th of July parade and it has been years since I've seen it. 
So as busy as life is as this month starts I have fond memories and lots of special people who celebrate this month of their birth!
Here's to hoping it is a good month, full of lots of blessing, happy memories and time spent with great people.

Positive thought of the day: What beautiful weather we finally have. It has not rained in 24-hours, it has cooled off and less humidity and the best of all the sun is shining. : )

What does it matter!

No I'm not asking the question "What does it matter?" as the title of today's post. It's my explanation- "What does it matter!".  Let me back track. It's been a rather nutty morning juggling between being home alone for a couple of days, cat and house sitting, working as a stringer for the local newspaper and trying to finish things up at school. So with all of this I was arriving at school around 9 a.m., an hour later than I wanted but I had everything else off of my list so it has been a productive morning so far (I probably just jinxed that!). Anyway as I made my way down the hallway, I was greeted by a coworker who I see on occasion. I made the mistake on commenting on how nice the hallway floors looked and I was met by 2 minutes of complaining, swearing, more complaining and more swearing about one of their coworkers, all while trying to get my door unlocked and escape the negative tirade! The guy just needed someone to vent to,  (I understand that and we all need an ear at times to vent, bitch and get it out. I do a lot!) I listened and when he finally took a breath, I briefly said that I was sorry his day and situation with the coworker was not going well. That I hoped it got better and again told him how nice the school was looking for all his hard work. I think I caught him off guard with my reply and he mumbled a "thank you" and went on his way. He just needed someone to vent to, however briefly it was. And I was not jumping on his bitching party bus but rather express my feelings that things were going that way BUT I appreciated and NOTICED what he was doing and how nice it looked. The end! Move on!
I got busy on work in my office and work area and I'd forgotten the conversation and the anger and frustration with the individual, it was typical behavior, unfortunately. We all have our triggers and moments.
It wasn't until I was killing some time sorting and going through some things while waiting for computer  software to finish downloading when I ran across a card from one of my high school dance team girls thanking me for listing and supporting her while she and her younger sister were having issues. And my earlier school greeting of frustration by that coworker came back to me. What does it matter!
I'm sure for the young lady who wrote me the card of thanks several months ago the problems have been resolved, dealt with and forgotten. I'd like to think she learned some life lessons from the experience but right now I know of doubt it. At the time it mattered a great deal to her. And it should have, no one wants or should be bullied. And I'm sure the tirade and venting that I was treated to this morning is long forgotten and I'm betting the individual was probably disappointed by my reaction and lack of band wagon jumping on! But he just needed to uncork his frustrations with a situation and move on....I hope!
We all have our "moments" where we let something that on most days don't even cause us to have a second thought hit us wrong at times. This is normal and this is part of being human. Even the most passive people have a nerve hit at times. And later,  I'd like to think, most of us look back and think "what was that?" or  Why did I let "that" bother and get to me? Hard to say!
But you know what? Life goes on. For some they stew and brew on something that may seem trivial to others but is a major source of irritation and unhappiness for them. Others just deal and move on. And there are those brave few who deal with the source of their unhappiness and frustration-good for them, IF they do it in a non-relationship harming way. Be brave-I am not!
I'm typically a keep my mouth shut and keep moving kind of person. I KNOW I'd feel better if I addressed the source of my frustrations and let it out. I have a heavy duty filter, unlike others who speak then think. But wisdom and experience has taught me to keep my mouth shut, move on and let it go, for the time being and deal with it myself. And there are those very rare times when I have stood up for myself and told someone how I felt. I just did that recently and I stood and still stand alone- without any friend support. I have no support from those around me, but they had not walked in my shoes, they have no idea what I was dealing with. It's a lonely walk and I've dealt with a variety of feelings but the fact that I'm not being walked on and treated as unimportant has made it worth the pain. I walked away from something I was passionate about and worked hard to make successful despite a "friend" who left me out of the loop and often times I was the last to know or be informed. That's not fun. That's not how you work with others-especially when you are working on the same project and cause. We're on the same team here! I'm not sure why some people feel the need to walk all over others. Is it an ego thing? A control factor for them? Or are they so self absorbed that they think only THEY can do it right. Of course people aren't going to do it the way you think they should. But they also aren't going to even attempt to do it the way you think it should be done if you don't tell them everything that it involves-share the information and edcation. I always silently cheer inside when someone goes above and beyond and does a better job, or does things a better way than anyone else thought of. Way to go!
So if you are bothered by something or someone today ask yourself my favorite four questions of: Will it matter in day? Will it matter in a week? Will it matter in a month? Or will it matter in a year? IF it does still bother you in a day, week, month or year, then it is important to you. Deal with it, come to terms and move on. Life is too short.

Positive thought of the day: Life is quiet and uneventful, which is a good thing to have!

A new direction

Every time I've sent my kids out the door my heart is always a bit sad to see them go and I look so forward to them coming home! From staying at Grandpa and Grandma's on the other side of the state as little people, to all the first days of school, then heading to college, new jobs and new places. The funny thing is they've usually headed east! East to camp, to college, to a first job. Until today. Ryan is taking his life a new direction so to speak. And this is something that has been on his radar for many months. He's going after a dream and that is wonderful. He's going west!

I've watched as all my kids have went after dreams and worked hard to achieve them. From auditioning for All-Iowa Dance Team to making it to the state track meet to getting a masters degree and hopefully doing something they love. And it is wonderful to watch! To them I say thank you, for being brave, for working hard and getting back up when life has knocked you down and working your butt off! They've kept their dreams alive and continued to dream-I hope they always do.

I remember how sad my mom always looked each time I left home, be it to head back to college, or loading up my three lively kids and going back to my house. I always had mixed emotions with the experience. My heart ached to leave my mom, and then to leave her alone after dad was gone, then to leave her in the care facility where she was living. My heart ached but often times I had  regret for not living closer or anger for her making it so hard to leave! But how lucky I was to have a mom who cared so much and made it hard to leave. I miss her every single day. No I would not have wanted to live with my parents! Nor would I want my kids all living at home as adults-we'd drive each other crazy....how limited their dreams would be if they still were. But how blessed I am to have these three and how much they have taught and continue to teach me and the adventures they take me on!

So today is the start of a new chapter and adventure not just for Ryan but for all of us who love him. For with him he not only takes along as many things as he can fit in his car and his bike on the back. But all of our love, support and prayers for nothing but the best. Even though nine hours seems like a lot, yes I was spoiled when everyone was less than two hours away, but this is not that far and it is not thousands and thousands of miles away. I always miss my kids when they are gone but I am so blessed that they want to go out into the world, explore, learn and live. And that they do come back home.
Love to all three....but I still miss you more than you know. After all you grew under my heart, you know what my heart sounds like from the inside and my heart and love is always with you.

Postivie thought of the day: I am so blessed and I so appreciate that fact! Love you guys!

Life, always changing

It's Sunday, the first day of the week. It's the first day of a new month and summer has finally arrived. But like every day life is constantly changing. People are doing something new or different, new projects, new hair style, new jobs, new cities, new book, new shoes, new glasses, new classes, new anything.

Birthdays come and go and with each one you are blessed enough to mark another year on this earth. Because if you look at life from the viewpoint of you are dying every day it is kind of sad. But looking at life as you will never again be as  young as you are right now, well it makes you appreciate the time, the moment and the blessing of being alive, who you are, where you are at and all that you are blessed with.

With this month ahead we have not only three birthdays in our house but changes coming with a new job, new location and life taking not just one of us but all of us some place new. When one family member moves and goes to a new city, state or country with them a part of the rest of the family goes too. No, I'm not planning on all of us moving but visiting is definitely in the plans. The new opportunities to see new places, go some place where we've never been before is exciting and fun. But more than that is the excitement of seeing your child work, go after and reach goals they've dreamed of and wanted.

So despite a dreaded milestone birthday coming up I'm excited to see what is ahead for as I titled this blog, life is always changing. And when you are a family and one person makes a change it is a change for everyone who knows and loves that person. It may seem at times that life is dull and boring, day in and day out we plug away because we loose track and don't notice the little changes, the seasons come and go and we continue. So with life changes, big, small or whatever the size embrace them and enjoy.

Positive thought of the day: My kids who still come home to visit and see us. Maybe I didn't screw up as much as I think I have! They are really great adults who regardless where they live, what they do and how often or little they come home to visit will always be my greatest accomplishment, my mark on the world! They will never realize how much I love them until they have kids of their own!

Something better!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you stack up all the negatives and things going wrong in your life in a big old pile, either from the last five minutes or last five years and have a deluxe, big old pity party? Poor me. I'm so sad/bad/whatever you want to do use to describe yourself or your life at that moment.

Yep, I did that yesterday for about 60 seconds (it was a short party) then I kicked myself and realized two things that I constantly forget: 1. I am NOT in control-God is. So I need to stop trying to control life, situations and such. God has a much better plan for me. I am along for the ride and I need to enjoy it, I won't get a second chance.
2. I have soooooooooo much to be thankful about-my family, my health, my freedom, my life in general. I am so blessed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I need to stop taking this all for granted.

When ever you are rejected, be it a text or email that is not replied to or a job that you apply or interview for and don't get it hurts to think that you're not good enough or worthy of a reply or the opportunity or the time it takes. We all have it happen to us and we all have done it to others. It's just life. Get on with your life to more important things that you are suppose to be at.

I try not to put all my eggs into one basket due mainly to the fact that I'd rather keep my eggs close and not put them out there into one hope or dream. I'd rather have my eggs where I can see them and decide which basket they should go in where they can reach the most potential.

I have a friend who can't let things go and wallows when things go wrong, and constantly lets things that will not matter in a week or a month or a year hang over his head and bother him. On the outside looking in it seems silly. But in his world it is devastating and a source of unhappiness. And that's okay, it matters to him and if bothers him for a long time it's his decision. He doesn't have a lot of distractions or responsibilities in his life so his behavior is understandable. But there is so much more to life. We tend to remember the negatives and forget the positives. One cutting remark is remembered more than a hundred compliments. The world is hard and rough enough without us doing it to ourselves. 

So after my rejection and short pity party yesterday I topped things off with a sliver in the bottom of my foot too-ouch! Way to go Lynn. But stepping back and looking at things it was a great day! I could go into work when and as long as I wanted to. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. I got something things accomplished at home and life is peaceful. So moving on to a new day and letting go of the negative is something I need to work on. And I need to remember that there is something better ahead...God has a plan.

Positive thought of the day: Look at the positive potentials that life has and is offering you rather than the negatives. Every day is a new opportunity to become a better person and reach your potential. Live life and remember that there is always something better ahead!

What I did on my summer vacation-in reverse

Yay!!!!! I made it to summer vacation! After a trying year at school to finally be to this day seems like a major accomplishment. And thinking about the proverbial back to school essay teachers some times ask their students to write when school starts in August "What I did on my summer vacation" I'm on the front side of that and thinking about what I'd like to be able to "write" when August rolls around when I head back to school.

So here is my list with lots of room for adjustments and additions:
1. Spend time with my kids! Celebrate all three of their birthdays. Eat favorite meals together. Talk. Just be with them, not matter what we are doing and where we do it.
2. READ! I have several books I want to read this summer and starting now would be a good time. I tried the reading challenge to read 40 pages a day and read a novel in a week. It works but other things such as sleep, laundry, dishes don't get done! Adjustments can be made to make this goal accomplished.
3. Some home improvements. This can be as small as cleaning out cupboards and drawers or as big as painting the basement stairwell or taking out carpet and uncovering more hardwood floors!
4. Spend time with friends. I don't care if its a quick lunch here in town or going to Des Moines to Zombie Burger. Just taking the time and opportunity to spend time and do it now, not at the last minute in late July.
5. Be physically active. I'd like to workout at least 30 minutes per day. It helps me physically and mentally.
6. Get caught up on things-there is a list here and all can be accomplished!
7. Be happy, relax and renew. This is a must!
8. What ever else that sounds like fun and comes my way can be added at any given time!

So there it is! I have no great travel plans. I love to travel but I am also content to be home most days. May the summer of 2014 be a good one with many blessings, some things checked off my "lists" and a peaceful, quiet one.

Positive thought of the day: I can make my own hours as I want to finish up my school year! Peace and quiet on my terms for a change.

25-hours in a day-PLEASE!?!

I remember as a kid wishing time would go faster. For some crazy reason I wanted to grow up! And my mom telling me to enjoy it because the older you get the faster time goes. Boy was she ever right!

There is the saying "Don't wish your life away".  The phrase runs through my mind when ever I hear someone say something like "I wish this was Friday" or "I can't wait for the weekend". I do this too and then I find myself to kicking myself because I too am wishing my life away! Stop it!! It's already going by too fast!

So as I approach the end of yet another school year, a year that has been hard, challenging, frustrating and darn right miserable at times I look back at the past 179 days of school and to be truthful I don't regret a minute of wishing it was the next day or the weekend, or Thanksgiving or Christmas break, counting down the days, and now finally to the final day. Amen! Good riddance! It's been a good year job-wise. I like my job and most of the kids-I learn from them and they are fun to watch and be around. I have not accomplished as much as I'd like to, be being tied down from 8:18 a.m. to well after 2:30 or even 3:30 most days makes it hard to get things done. I like to accomplish things and make changes. Make a difference. And even if there were 25-hours in a day I would NOT want that extra hour at work. NO WAY. It's amazing how one person can make or break your day. Sad but true. And now I have the task to accomplish a great deal in the few extra days they give me-wishful thinking on their part and common sense for me, as it can't be done. I won't beat myself up to try to get it done. I'll do what I can and the rest will be here waiting for me in August. Oh well....more work, less time and pay seems to be the norm.

So with the prospect of five whole days to get as much as I can done and then I'm on to summer, finally I can't wait to get done and get out! Then the personal challenge of staying motivated when time is my own and my list is flexible. I'm a creature of habit, we all are but I thrive on a daily schedule. And like a little kid who's had too much candy I can get off task when I have too much time on my hands. A good book will find me blowing a whole day away reading! A "to-do" list and goals make my day on track and worth doing. But the freedom to do them at my own pace is wonderful advantage. And if I find a project that keeps me busy and I can't wait to do and accomplish, then I'm thrilled and wishing for a 25-hour day! So I need to find those projects and dig in my heels and get to work and stay on schedule. Maybe and extra hour in the day to spend with my family or read or ride my bike might be more like it, rather then to get more work done!

So here's to the 2013-14 school year-it wasn't good nor was it bad. I'm just glad you are over. And on to the summer! Amen!  

Positive thought of the day: The weather is beautiful! Thank you God!!