Taking life as it comes

State Dance competition is always stressful for me. I have a love-hate relationship with this! This year was more stressful considering the circumstances I've had to deal with. I've questioned my coaching and human relationship abilities a lot the past couple of months and to be honest it has been tough going. I've found myself one moment dreading practice and state to the next moment caught up in the love of dance and working with kids. I've used the term "the elephant is in the room" as well as "beating my head against a brick wall" a lot, but mostly for lack of a better way to describe this season. That's pretty much how this year has been. Our reaction to things affects those around us a great deal. So I've had to play the "we're gonna put on our big girl panties and do this" card to get this group going.

So as the last two weeks have rolled around and I've had to be tough, tougher than I've ever had to be with kids, and I don't like being that way. I pushed these kids to work harder, try harder and told them to their face that I believed in them, they needed to believe in themselves. Some were receptive to it, and for others, usually the ones who needed it, they were oblivious to it. All the coaching and encouragement in the world was not going to do any good. This is just how life goes. Some work harder when you push. Some don't have any idea how to work or believe in themselves and continue doing or not doing what they have been doing all along.  We practiced a lot, and we practiced in the early mornings. I've been to school by 6 a.m. or earlier a great deal the past couple of weeks. We've practice on Saturday evenings-the guys asked for this. And once again the group that asked for Saturday evening practices and wanted 5 a.m. practices (I said no, 6 a.m. was early enough) came away from state showing that working hard pays off. The kids who listened when I coached and showed up for practice-brought home something to show for all that hard work. It wasn't what they wanted but it was the best we could do this year. To say I lack leadership with one of the groups is so apparent it is sad. But there is only so much I can do as their coach. I can't drive a bus around town to pick them up to make sure they get to practice, much less on time. Our lack of leadership this year has also taken it's toll. Just when we needed that peer leadership it is not there. So another battle I've had to deal with.

As state approached I had a whole host of behaviors from my girls...I can't do this.....I don't feel good....and the list goes on. The "I don't feel good" was a case of nerves. The "I can't do this" didn't do "it" and thus the reason why we got the scores we did. If I return to coach another year I won't put that individual back on my team. The term "way to let your team down" rings loud and clear. Kids just don't get what effect their "lack of" has on those around them. If you're not going to do it, you're not going to dance in competition. But life goes on.

I will admit I was a nervous wreak Thursday morning. But this was the first time I was doing all of this solo. I had no sidekick to go along and be my second in command. But once we got to state my jitters and worrying settled down and I was all business. We needed to stay focused and for the most part we did. I had one young  man, a first year senior, wanting me to talk him through the dances and help him fix some things he though he was struggling with. He also admitted to me that he was in awe before his first performance that he didn't believe me as to how big it all was. It can be a bit daunting and he was nervous to say the least.

But when all was said and done things went as I knew they would. I was a tad bit disappointed by one score but if  you don't try you cost your team....I can't change that as a coach. I can't get out there and dance for them. I'll just make sure it doesn't happen again. But that's life. You get what you put into it. So yes I learn lessons from these kids and I learn lessons every time we go to state. It is a scary, fun, encouraging experience.  And will I be back again next year....we'll I'm probably more likely to return than I was a month ago. Sometimes the curve balls life throws at you are hard to catch. It's when there are several curve balls all coming at you at the same time that I question myself first and foremost. And life secondly. And all I can say is I need to remember to take life as it comes.

Positive thought of the day: Take the opportunity to slow down and enjoy life and learn the lessons it is teaching you. We are all in the same boat.

All it takes

One kind word! You never know what other people are dealing with at any given time. I find this true for both kids and adults. Kids are less likely to share than adults unless they have someone they really trust. And for anyone a kind word can turn around a bad day making it into a good one! We as a society tend to remember the bad things-how someone made you feel or something someone said or a "look" from someone can ruin your day. And I am guilty of this-big time. If I feel I've let someone down or they are not happy with me I do let it bother me, a lot some times. But I'm working really, really hard on not letting that ruin my day or bother me as much. The only person in this world I have to make happy is ME. That's all, no one else. And I can't base my happiness on someone else, or if they are happy with me or not, especially if that someone treats me poorly or as a second thought. They are not worthy of me or my time. You need to be happy with YOU! Remember this!

Early morning practices typically has kids dragging in, not yet fully awake and barely functional. I'm not a morning person and I'm trying really, really hard to become one as my world can't start at 10 a.m. But one thing I've found is if you greet these sleepy, tired and over extended kids and make things light hearted you get them to work with you and they will work hard. Nine young men rolled into the gym at 6 a.m. this morning to practice for state dance team. It was their call to practice at 6 a.m. Actually they wanted to go at 5 or 5: 30 a.m. but I knew that would be counter productive about an hour into practice. So for one hour and 40-minutes we danced and fixed and critiqued and helped one another to become better as a team. And when I complimented an individual or the group as a team they seemed work harder and  got better each time we did the dance. They were pleased and energized with themselves when we left that gym at 7:40 a.m. I was thrilled and the guys were in a much better mood than there were at 5:55 a.m.!

I've always found you reap what you sow, to be so true. If you want people to treat you nicely then you have to treat them nicely. There are those few rare people in this world I won't waste a breathe on as they are just plain mean and nasty-I take their treatment for so long then I'm done. But for the most part people are kind-I like to believe this. And believe it or not people can change with time, I'm surprised here too! There used to be a parent that I deemed to be one mean and nasty piece of work. She was mean and snide to kids, especially athletes and especially kids in her daughter's class. Now that I have her son she is a different animal. She is more of a positive parent, team player, mellowed and has grown up-we all do with time. Have I forgiven her for the hell she put me and my daughter through-yes because it was only hurting me. Have I forgotten-NO! I will always wait for the mean, nasty person to come back but right now she is at least tolerable! She is what I will always refer to as a "mean girl".

So today as I do everyday I try to offer a positive word to those around me. Be it "good luck tonight" to the kids who have a game this evening. Or "thank you" to a student when I ask them to do something and they do it without an attitude. It's the little things that make people want to be nice in return and maybe just makes their day a little bit brighter.

Positive thought of the day: Have a great day! : )